Bill Simmons trolls Portland... again

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simmons 3 tweets

tweet 1..

sportsguy33 Also: How could I have a Portland grudge when A.) Breaks of Game is my fav book; B.) I demanded Port. for my book tour; + C.) I love Walton

tweet 2..

Come on Blazers fans: you can't be mad about my 41-41 pick. Gotta take 2-3 chances with picks or why even do them? BTW I will be vindicated.


tweet 3..

Portland fans are cracking me up. Reacted to 41-41 like my wife reacts when I take too long to react to "Do you like this dress on me?"
gotta admit he is funny LOL! but he clearly hates this team
 
MIXUM said:
simmons 3 tweets

tweet 1..

sportsguy33 Also: How could I have a Portland grudge when A.) Breaks of Game is my fav book; B.) I demanded Port. for my book tour; + C.) I love Walton

tweet 2..

Come on Blazers fans: you can't be mad about my 41-41 pick. Gotta take 2-3 chances with picks or why even do them? BTW I will be vindicated.


tweet 3..

Portland fans are cracking me up. Reacted to 41-41 like my wife reacts when I take too long to react to "Do you like this dress on me?"
gotta admit he is funny LOL! but he clearly hates this team
Click to expand...

Do you watch Twitter all day? Is that what you do with your life?

And no, he is not funny. That joke is not funny at all.
 
¹²³ said:
He also wrote this in the first part of his article:



Link
Click to expand...

That's pretty funny considering the Raptors signed Andrea Bargnni to a $50 million contract extension this summer. If Bargnani is worth $50 million (he's not, but it's what he got in this market), then Aldridge is an absolute STEAL at $65 million.

BNM
 
no i get markers and make hcp signs....

and i found them posted under comments
 
could be a PR move for simmons. make lots of blazer fans come to his signing in beaverton. regardless if they come to tell him to fuck off....they still come and worst case... he sells a few books.

i doubt hes this smart but who knows. i mean its possible
 
So he thinks we'll not only be worse than last year, but as bad as the year before that? The year that Travis Outlaw and Jarret Jack were our third and fourth biggest-minute players?

Uh, ok.
 
I get Portland's thinking: It wanted to turn that cap space into an asset. And I get Miller's thinking: He wanted to get paid and hoped things would work out. But now we're here. Incredibly, Portland plans on bringing Miller off the bench. He's already miserable. (And available, by the way. Make Kevin Pritchard an offer. Seriously, call him right now.) So what did we learn? Just because you have cap space doesn't mean you HAVE to use it.
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aren't there restrictions against trading a guy after you've just signed them?

I'm reminded of the line from Animal House when Bluto is talking about the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor...

STOMP
 
what, the "quiet, he's on a roll!" line? :)
 
Simmons also will be on the "I will ignore dipwits" near years resolution.
 
tha'd be the one

dude is riffing... I don't find him particularly insightful or funny, but he gets more leeway with misrepresenting reality as he is clearly trying for jokes.

STOMP
 
The "Animal House" reference has me thinking. If we are going to repond, it might as well be an over-the-top nuclear response!

Can anybody lay their hands on a crate of replica Len Bias jerseys?
 
BeerBoy said:
Simmons wrote this crap to get this exact type of response.
Click to expand...
The best response would be for him to be greeted with crickets at his book 'signing.'

Literally, release a few dozen crickets into the book store.

Just ignore the douche.
 
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I actually have similar concerns about the Nate aspect though.
 
One thing I do agree with is this. Not all of it. I'm not ready to say he is a bad fit because I don't think he is...yet. But, how the two eventually came together in union. I do.

21. Andre Miller
We knew Miller was a bad fit when the Blazers signed him. It just didn’t feel right. He’s a moody loner; they had great chemistry last season. He needs the ball in his hands; so does Brandon Roy. He likes freelancing; Nate McMillan is hands on. But Portland felt obligated to spend its extra cap money, and nobody else was pursuing Miller, so what transpired was the equivalent of two single wedding guests going through the motions on the dance floor.

I could use someone, and you could use someone. Unfortunately, I hate bald guys and I have a tiny butt; you’re bald and you love bubble butts. We have no spark and are destined to fail. But crap, there’s nobody better. Screw it, would you like to come back to my room?

I get Portland’s thinking: It wanted to turn that cap space into an asset. And I get Miller’s thinking: He wanted to get paid and hoped things would work out. But now we’re here. Incredibly, Portland plans on bringing Miller off the bench. He’s already miserable. (And available, by the way. Make Kevin Pritchard an offer. Seriously, call him right now.) So what did we learn? Just because you have cap space doesn’t mean you HAVE to use it
 
what simmons did was play devils advocate to all the other guys on espn who picked us.

he listed every concern we have but didnt give any positives.

I mean if you asked a espn nba reporter to list the positives about the blazers... it would be easy. But if you asked why the blazers could fail... simmons nailed it and said what many on here are afraid of.

Simmons just is predicting a season where we dont live up to the hype. in that prediction he says everything we have already during the pre season.

1. Miller doesnt fit.

2. Too much talent.

3. Nate isn't the right coach

4. West is much improved.

5. LA might be over payed. Hes no banger and doesnt rebound all that well.


Is Simmons lying or is he saying what you fear to be true as a blazer fan? Things that upset us cause reaction which he got easily. Think of it this way.... tons of hits just from blazer fans who he knows has a huge fan base. To ESPN... the hits on the site look great and he looks like a star. Its a win win either way. If he gets the prediction right... he was the only one who said we would suck therefore he knows his shit. If he gets it wrong... he still got tons of visitors and email about it. He cant lose on this one. Not to mention he's coming here for his book. How many other fan bases in the NBA would react to a column shitting on their team like blazer fans???? Have you noticed how many writers make little comments about blazer fans on message boards? Even Cowherd on radio mocked us the other day. We have that reputation and Simmons is using it to get hits. Guess what? It worked like a charm!
 
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Never cared what he had to say before so this doesn't bother me.
 
MIXUM said:
Simmons just is predicting a season where we dont live up to the hype. in that prediction he says everything I have already during the pre season.

1. Miller doesnt fit.

2. Too much talent.

3. Nate isn't the right coach

4. West is much improved.

5. LA might be over payed. Hes no banger and doesnt rebound all that well.
Click to expand...
fixed it for you

addressing Bill and your concerns...

1. BS
2. :biglaugh:
3. whatever... 21, 32, 41, 54
4. we'll see, I think it's slightly improved
5. LA plays for the best rebounding team in the league and is a solid versatile defender. A good high post player isn't a "banger", they make jumpers.

STOMP
 
Bulletin board.

I want the team to see this. HCP, hook it up.
 
oldmangrouch said:
I suppose the photo-shopped posters of his wife with Danny Ainge are in equally bad taste? :devilwink:
Click to expand...

How about this one:

Hire a couple dozen overweight house fraus to show up in spandex and leg warmers holding copies of this:

021db220dca01dff0e1c9010.L._SL500_AA240_.jpg


Put it down on the table for Simmons to autograph, notice it's the wrong Simmons, grab their book and storm off saying:

"I thought they said Richard Simmons was going to be here, not this loser that no one's ever heard of!"

BNM
 
Boob-No-More said:
How about this one:

Hire a couple dozen overweight house fraus to show up in spandex and leg warmers holding copies of this:

021db220dca01dff0e1c9010.L._SL500_AA240_.jpg


Put it down on the table for Simmons to autograph, notice it's the wrong Simmons, grab their book and storm off saying:

"I thought they said Richard Simmons was going to be here, not this loser that no one's ever heard of!"

BNM
Click to expand...

:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

That is priceless!
 
I'm starting to think he does this just to mess with message board nerds like us.
 
OK, Blazers fans, let's make a wager. O/U is 53.5. If Blazers go over, I'll change my Twitter background to an Oden dunk for 2010 playoffs.
about 1 hour ago from web

My response: HOW ABOUT A PICTURE OF HIM DUNKING ON YOU, BILLY?
 
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