Your first paragraph literally made me crack the fuck up!
Last time I was in Cleveland, I remember terribly rundown infrastructure, old buildings, cigarette butts everywhere and the lady who called me nigger in the mall when I smiled at her (crochety old bitch is probably dead now). The whole city of Cleveland looks like it's frowning, sighing, and saying:
"This is some bullshit...."
But... Even though my lady is from Oakland and regardless of the nigger lady, I met some of the nicest people in Cleveland, OH. Hip-Hop is alive and well in CLE. The people showed us a lotta love. I'm rooting for you Cleveland!
Your river caught... on... fire...
I mean how terrible does your infrastructure have to be for your river to have so much methane in it that it spontaneously combusts....?
Yeah I'm rooting for Cleveland!
Their whole city looks like one big notch in the loser's column...
They deserve a win.