Congrats, Dame!

[hoopsjock]

It's really just ribbing that people are making like it's over the top because of "The Donkey".

When humans are babies, we cry for every single thing we need. That's normal. However, a good parent coaches that shit out or deals with it forever.

Rule: You don't get what you cry for.

That's a hard and fast rule in my home. You whine for something you get the opposite of what you whine for.

You reward your kid with what they want when they whine and cry for it and you'll have a whiny crybaby for a kid.

To me whining and crying aren't the same thing. They can happen together and of course if someone is being all whiny that is one thing. Gobert wasn't throwing a tantrum or anything childish. He was being asked questioned and got a little emotional. That's not even close to a kid not getting his way and throwing a fit.

If your son had a pet that died would you coach that shit out of him to man up and not cry? I know it's not the same thing but you seem to be taking a firm stance against crying.

Edit: I also think it's bullshit when someone says "you're too big to cry". Like what the fuck does that even mean? If you're a certain height you're not allowed to be sad?

 

[BLAZINGGIANTS]

Edit: I also think it's bullshit when someone says "you're too big to cry". Like what the fuck does that even mean? If you're a certain height you're not allowed to be sad?

I see @PtldPlatypus liked your post. Easy for him. He’s tall, so he wouldn’t cry. Ergo, easy for him to like your post but he cannot relate.

 

[hoopsjock]

I see @PtldPlatypus liked your post. Easy for him. He’s tall, so he wouldn’t cry. Ergo, easy for him to like your post but he cannot relate.

I'm bigger than him so I'm not allowed to cry either.

 

[e_blazer]

Edit: I also think it's bullshit when someone says "you're too big to cry". Like what the fuck does that even mean? If you're a certain height you're not allowed to be sad?

I think they’re just talking hydraulics. Once you get to be a certain height, gravity prevents the tear production necessary for crying. Unless you’re willing to stand on your head, of course.

 

[BLAZINGGIANTS]

I think they’re just talking hydraulics. Once you get to be a certain height, gravity prevents the tear production necessary for crying. Unless you’re willing to stand on your head, of course.

When you’re tall, it’s not tears, it’s a weather system. Trust me.

 

[dviss1]

To me whining and crying aren't the same thing. They can happen together and of course if someone is being all whiny that is one thing. Gobert wasn't throwing a tantrum or anything childish. He was being asked questioned and got a little emotional. That's not even close to a kid not getting his way and throwing a fit.

If your son had a pet that died would you coach that shit out of him to man up and not cry? I know it's not the same thing but you seem to be taking a firm stance against crying.

Edit: I also think it's bullshit when someone says "you're too big to cry". Like what the fuck does that even mean? If you're a certain height you're not allowed to be sad?

Firm stance.... Jesus.... Guys...

Guys let's not act like I'm saying crying is weak and men shouldn't do it. I'm not saying anything like that.

But crying over "not making all stars" reminds that whiny kid we wanted our kid to grow out of.

He said some outlandish shit.

Disrespect to "him, the organization, the fans, the game"??

And please... Let's not let this be the narrative:



He said his mother caught him crying....

So no, I don't have much sympathy for the guy that cries to his mother when things don't go his way...

Couple things:

• I never talked about a tantrum. Ever.

• Then you double down on the tantrum talk and say "coach him not to cry about his dead pet"?? WTF are you talking about??

You know there's a point in a child's development when he stops crying (literally their only form of communication) and can verbalize "Dad I'm hungry"?

My hard and fast rule is: now that you can verbalize what you want with your big boy words, the crying for it must end. I don't want to And will not respond to a whiny "I'm hungry" again. It's over now. Your capable of simply asking for and informing me of what thou need and want now.

And you must also know that Pop can't whine to get things like a job or a car from whining. I need to work hard...

Also, if my son was whining because he didn't make an all star team, I'd tell him to suck it up and use it as motivation.

Let's please stop with the narrative that I think men shouldn't cry or that it's weak to.

Back to Rudy:

He's a fucking whiner. Y'all really need to unpack a lot of the bullshit he said in that interview:

"You know the way the league is headed."

"Disrespect to the game"

"The league doesn't value defense"

Statements like this COUPLED with his mama catching his grown ass crying over a kid's game because he "didn't make all stars" ...

Makes me say:

Shut your whiny ass up!

Also, for @yuyuza1 to equate "Whiny Rudy" with Dame's fuck you letter and subsequent fuck you tour, is utter bullshit.

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

It's really just ribbing that people are making like it's over the top because of "The Donkey".

When humans are babies, we cry for every single thing we need. That's normal. However, a good parent coaches that shit out or deals with it forever.

Rule: You don't get what you cry for.

That's a hard and fast rule in my home. You whine for something you get the opposite of what you whine for.

You reward your kid with what they want when they whine and cry for it and you'll have a whiny crybaby for a kid.

Of course part of parenting is teaching your kids emotional maturity. Not all reasons to cry are equal though. Crying cause you worked your butt off with the goal of an all star game and fell short is different then crying to “get your way”.
I absolutely agree that some of the things he said were “outlandish” as you put it, and it seems like a rather short sighted goal to have as an NBA player. Who are we to tell him what his goals should be though? If his goal was to make an all star game this year and he felt like he put everything he had into it and didnt get in, seems likely he would have an emotional reaction to it. Now hopefully (at least if you’re a Jazz fan) he does man up and go make players / coaches pay for not putting him in.

In terms of if it was playful ribbing or not, I dont know what his relationships with those guys are like it could be.

I get you are not saying its bad to cry in general, but I still think its really hard to tell another man what they should have emotional investment in. The crying was mainly what guys were ribbing him for, not his comments too.

 

[dviss1]

I see @PtldPlatypus liked your post. Easy for him. He’s tall, so he wouldn’t cry. Ergo, easy for him to like your post but he cannot relate.

Not sure why he liked it. It wasn't talking about any stance I've taken. it was an argument against one I wasn't making.

 

[dviss1]

Of course part of parenting is teaching your kids emotional maturity. Not all reasons to cry are equal though. Crying cause you worked your butt off with the goal of an all star game and fell short is different then crying to “get your way”.
I absolutely agree that some of the things he said were “outlandish” as you put it, and it seems like a rather short sighted goal to have as an NBA player. Who are we to tell him what his goals should be though? If his goal was to make an all star game this year and he felt like he put everything he had into it and didnt get in, seems likely he would have an emotional reaction to it. Now hopefully (at least if you’re a Jazz fan) he does man up and go make players / coaches pay for not putting him in.

In terms of if it was playful ribbing or not, I dont know what his relationships with those guys are like it could be.

I get you are not saying its bad to cry in general, but I still think its really hard to tell another man what they should have emotional investment in. The crying was mainly what guys were ribbing him for, not his comments too.

It is my opinion that Rudy's crying was all about being a fucking whiner.

Suck it up.

Save your tears for something that actually matters.

Thousands of kids are still being separated from their parents at the border and our administration has no desire to reunite them with their families.

Suck it the fuck up Rudy. You not making all stars isn't the end of the world, it isn't a conspiracy of the league to keep defensive minded big men out... Nor is it a "disrespect to the game"...

It literally makes me say STFU and quit whining.

 

[dviss1]

Crying cause you worked your butt off with the goal if an all star game and fell short is different

You're giving him WAY too much credit. You really think that's why he's crying? Because he "fell short"?

No, he feels disrespected. He feels cheated.

His words show it has nothing to do with falling short of a goal but everything to do feeling slighted due to a conspiracy to keep defense out of the all star game.

Really???

Y'all have sympathy only because a donkey said something negative..

 

[dviss1]

but I still think its really hard to tell another man what they should have emotional investment in.

That's a weird way to frame that. When was this done? I never said what his emotions should be invested in.

I'm a coach. It's the same thing I say when my kids get mad or sad:

What are you gonna do now? For the most part we get to choose how to feel, but not always. Ok, you feel the way you do...

WHAT NOW?

Are you gonna cry and whine about it or are you gonna get up and DO something?

I said his ACTIONS (always separate from your emotions) are whiny. What he said was weak. And his ACTIONS after having his emotions are weak too.

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

It is my opinion that Rudy's crying was all about being a fucking whiner.

Suck it up.

Save your tears for something that actually matters.

Thousands of kids are still being separated from their parents at the border and our administration has no desire to reunite them with their families.

Suck it the fuck up Rudy. You not making all stars isn't the end of the world, it isn't a conspiracy of the league to keep defensive minded big men out... Nor is it a "disrespect to the game"...

It literally makes me say STFU and quit whining.

Well I suppose were all entitled to an opinion.
The whole kids being seperated from their parents at the border thing, Im not sure I get the relevance. I doubt even Rudy would say what happened to him is worse than that. Its not like an emotional olympics where only the ultra terrible is worth crying for. - Maybe I took your point incorrectly?

I dont believe him having an emotional reaction after the selections, impedes him from “sucking it up” and going back at it.

Like I said I agree that his reasons for crying seem kind of lame from my perspective but hey he wouldnt be the 1st professional athlete to cry because they put everything they had into something and fell short.

For me, Ive been working on developing a product for almost 2 years now, many 70-80 hour weeks, business trips all over the place, time away from my family, if it doesnt end up going anywhere I wouldnt cry because well thats not how I work emotionally, but I bet the other engineer Ive worked with would. I would understand it. I believe he would be back on his feet ready to take on another challenge pretty quick though.

I’ll finish here, You might be right and his reaction was purely just a “I didnt get my way so now Im going to pout about it”, I dont know, but when I see another guy cry, or just be emotional my first thought it usually try to understand why, its empathy I guess.

 

[dviss1]

The whole kids being seperated from their parents at the border thing, Im not sure I get the relevance

There are real life things to cry about. All star game snubs ain't one of them.

 

[dviss1]

athlete to cry because they put everything they had into something and fell short.

Stop. Please stop.

This is NOT why he's crying and I summed it up in post #130.

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

That's a weird way to frame that. When was this done? I never said what his emotions should be invested in.

I'm a coach. It's the same thing I say when my kids get mad or sad:

What are you gonna do now? For the most part we get to choose how to feel, but not always. Ok, you feel the way you do...

WHAT NOW?

Are you gonna cry and whine about it or are you gonna get up and DO something?

I said his ACTIONS (always separate from your emotions) are whiny. What he said was weak. And his ACTIONS after having his emotions are weak too.

Didnt you say, he should save his tears for whats important? - isnt that saying this shouldnt be important go find something that is?

I agree that he needs to go do something, Im definitely not argueing with you there. He needs to spend the next couple months winning games and blocking shots.

 

[dviss1]

I dont know, but when I see another guy cry, or just be emotional my first thought it usually try to understand why, its empathy I guess.

I'm one of the most empathetic people you'll ever meet. I put myself in the other guys shoes to the nth degree. If we were on the phone and you said "I'm in the lobby" I'd picture myself as you in the lobby.

I listened to every word of that interview and put myself in Rudy's shoes. My conclusion after all the bullshit he spouted, was dude STFU...

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

Stop. Please stop.

This is NOT why he's crying and I summed it up in post #130.

I said you could be right. I dont know. I understand why you think that though.

 

[BLAZINGGIANTS]

I’m not for Gobert crying about it. Even though it’d likely hurt Portland, I hope he channels that level of disappointment into something productive on the court.

That being said, I have respect for the fact that he cares that much. But don’t come looking for handouts. Go out and prove to people that your “snub” meant you were wronged, if you can say being left out of the the ASG is being “wronged”.

 

[dviss1]

Didnt you say, he should save his tears for whats important? - isnt that saying this shouldnt be important go find something that is?

I agree that he needs to go do something, Im definitely not argueing with you there. He needs to spend the next couple months winning games and blocking shots.

NOW you have it. This is NOT important enough for him to be crying over. What's important is his team making the playoffs.

 

[dviss1]

I said you could be right. I dont know. I understand why you think that though.

I caught that at the end. I should've read the whole post before responding.

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

I'm one of the most empathetic people you'll ever meet. I pour myself in the other guys shoes to the nth degree. If we were on the phone and you said "I'm in the lobby" I'd picture myself as you in the lobby.

I listened to every word of that interview and put myself in Rudy's shoes. My conclusion after all the bullshit he spouted, was dude STFU...

And its absolutely ok for you to have that opinion. Im not saying anything bad about you for having it. I come to similar opinions about people sometimes but I dont go on twitter and give them crap about it.
Totally understand where you’re coming from, and I mean no disrespect, I guess I just see it a little differently, though I agree with you in part.

 

[BonesJones]

Pretend like I'm right next to you saying it, with my normal vernacular.

Is it offensive or disrespectful now bones? C'mon... Had we been in each other's presence and you heard my inflection, you wouldn't be taking offense to it. It's very tongue in cheek.

Lighten up a bit.

Telling me to lighten up when you're replying like that?

Ironic.

This also may be a tactic.

I probably would've thrown hands in person.

 

[hoopsjock]

OH SHIT!

Did you guys see Gobert's response to someone asking if he saw Draymond's tweet?

He said "As long as he doesn't post anything on Snapchat, we're good."

This is in reference to Draymond posting a dick pic on Snapchat.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

I see @PtldPlatypus liked your post. Easy for him. He’s tall, so he wouldn’t cry. Ergo, easy for him to like your post but he cannot relate.

I'm a crier. I cry at movies, TV shows, commercials. I cry during intense conversations with my wife, my kids. I've even cried at work (that was almost 20 years ago, but still it happened). Never been afraid to cry. Big fan of crying. It's cathartic.

Not sure why he liked it. It wasn't talking about any stance I've taken. it was an argument against one I wasn't making.

I liked the post because I agreed with the base premise that whining and crying aren't the same, not to signify agreement with one side or another in an argument.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

I'll admit that I haven't watched Gobert's video, so I'm speaking from a place of ignorance here. But my takeaways from what I've read is that he essentially feels that by the coaches not voting him an all star, they are essentially rejecting his identity as a basketball player. I can see how that could hurt to a degree that it leads a man to cry.

I'll share something personal that you all might not see as relating, but I see a connection.

After nearly 18 years at our church, we're looking for a new one. Why? Because there has been a movement over the past 5+ years to change the way nearly everything is being done, ostensibly to make it more attractive/palatable to visitors. Not that anything being done is wrong, it's just different. Personally, I have no problem with change. My wife, however, has been upset by many of them. She has voiced her opposition several times, and that is invariably pushed to the side. As a result, she feels rejected by the church. Now, I don't agree with her, I don't think she should be taking these things personally, I don't think that these changes should be the problem for her that they are...but the fact is that that is how she feels, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell her that she shouldn't feel how she feels.

I think Gobert's reaction to the coaches' vote is similar to my wife's reaction to our church's changes: "I've done what I do the best way I know how, and you're telling me it's not good enough, or it's not the way things are done anymore. You're telling me that what I value an antiquated version of what we're trying to do."

Now, I understand perfectly well what @dviss1 is saying about responding to crying in disappointment from parenting or coaching perspective. I absolutely do the same with my kids. One of my favorite "dad-isms" (that my kids can parrot back to me because I've said it so many times) is, "You can't always control what happens to you, but you can always control how you respond to it. Focus on your choices, not your circumstances." Just like dviss said--"What are you going to do now?"

However, none of the people who have criticized Gobert are his parent. None of them are his coach. None of them are in any position to influence, inspire, motivate, or otherwise counsel him. So I personally think it's inappropriate for them to take that role in response to his crying. Yes, I agree that he should focus on what he can/should do differently. But it is not their (or our) place to tell him to STFU or to stop whining. As far as I'm concerned, the proper response (all we can control) from someone who is not an authority figure or a trusted friend to somebody "whining" over disappointment is either kindness or silence.

If he were speaking (whining) to me, then he would probably get an "OK, what now?" response. But he's not, so he won't.

[/sermon]

 

[dviss1]

Telling me to lighten up when you're replying like that?

Ironic.

This also may be a tactic.

I probably would've thrown hands in person.

Saying "that's a load of crap" with the inflection I said it in would've probably made you laugh.

I'm 1000% sure you wouldn't have "thrown hands" and really to need to chill the fuck out now...

I don't know WTF is up with you right now...

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

Saying "that's a load of crap" with the inflection I said it in would've probably made you laugh.

I'm 1000% sure you wouldn't have "thrown hands" and really to need to chill the fuck out now...

I don't know WTF is up with you right now...

this is what thrown hands reminds me of? Mature? nope. .

 

[dviss1]

I'm a crier. I cry at movies, TV shows, commercials. I cry during intense conversations with my wife, my kids. I've even cried at work (that was almost 20 years ago, but still it happened). Never been afraid to cry. Big fan of crying. It's cathartic.


I liked the post because I agreed with the base premise that whining and crying aren't the same, not to signify agreement with one side or another in an argument.

That's the point everyone cries. And frankly, I'm upset with his whining not really his crying.

To the notion that no one is on a position to be telling him to quit whining, I disagree. The only reason we're having this conversation is because he took his whiny bullshit public... Once you do that it's open to the court of public opinion. He involved everyone and because of that everyone who heard it can have a say.

Shit... One of the reporters should've asked him what he was gonna do now.

 

[Hoopguru]

I'll admit that I haven't watched Gobert's video, so I'm speaking from a place of ignorance here. But my takeaways from what I've read is that he essentially feels that by the coaches not voting him an all star, they are essentially rejecting his identity as a basketball player. I can see how that could hurt to a degree that it leads a man to cry.

I'll share something personal that you all might not see as relating, but I see a connection.

After nearly 18 years at our church, we're looking for a new one. Why? Because there has been a movement over the past 5+ years to change the way nearly everything is being done, ostensibly to make it more attractive/palatable to visitors. Not that anything being done is wrong, it's just different. Personally, I have no problem with change. My wife, however, has been upset by many of them. She has voiced her opposition several times, and that is invariably pushed to the side. As a result, she feels rejected by the church. Now, I don't agree with her, I don't think she should be taking these things personally, I don't think that these changes should be the problem for her that they are...but the fact is that that is how she feels, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell her that she shouldn't feel how she feels.

I think Gobert's reaction to the coaches' vote is similar to my wife's reaction to our church's changes: "I've done what I do the best way I know how, and you're telling me it's not good enough, or it's not the way things are done anymore. You're telling me that what I value an antiquated version of what we're trying to do."

Now, I understand perfectly well what @dviss1 is saying about responding to crying in disappointment from parenting or coaching perspective. I absolutely do the same with my kids. One of my favorite "dad-isms" (that my kids can parrot back to me because I've said it so many times) is, "You can't always control what happens to you, but you can always control how you respond to it. Focus on your choices, not your circumstances." Just like dviss said--"What are you going to do now?"

However, none of the people who have criticized Gobert are his parent. None of them are his coach. None of them are in any position to influence, inspire, motivate, or otherwise counsel him. So I personally think it's inappropriate for them to take that role in response to his crying. Yes, I agree that he should focus on what he can/should do differently. But it is not their (or our) place to tell him to STFU or to stop whining. As far as I'm concerned, the proper response (all we can control) from someone who is not an authority figure or a trusted friend to somebody "whining" over disappointment is either kindness or silence.

If he were speaking (whining) to me, then he would probably get an "OK, what now?" response. But he's not, so he won't.

[/sermon]

Playing in the NBA is an elite job that pays younger people millions based on elite talent and a fan/TV driven market. His feelings are neither right or wrong, however because of the arena of such public viewership any players feelings will be scrutinized by fans/reporters etc. It does come with the territory and Im sure all players are counseled on how to handle themselves in front of the camera.
Because his thoughts with regards to his mother triggered the emotion, I give him a pass and actually appreciate his sensitivity regarding her.
Id much rather witness that than an athlete being arrogant or an ego ass.

 

[dviss1]

Because his thoughts with regards to his mother triggered the emotion, I give him a pass

Did you watch the video? Because he said his mother caught him crying. Hee wasn't crying because of his mother. This narrative needs to die. He was crying and his mother FOUND him crying. When he cried set the end it had nothing to do with his mother...

Why are people saying this???

Can we get this whiny shit outta the Dame thread?? This has quite literally derailed this thread