Ex-Sonic/Thunder Robert Swift being a Squatter

[Nate Dogg]

Robert Swift’s short NBA career, sadly, produced more bad punchlines than it did productive seasons. The heavily-tattooed big man was drafted directly out of high school in 2004 and was a favorite amongst several well-respected NBA GMs, but his game never found a groove and he last played in the NBA back in 2009. After a stint in the NBA’s minor league and a jaunt playing professionally in Tokyo, Swift apparently has settled back in the Pacific Northwest, living in the same house he bought as a member of the Seattle SuperSonics.

His house was recently foreclosed upon, though, and the new owner would like Swift to abandon the property. Swift, according to the television station KOMO (via Deadspin) isn’t going anywhere. And the rubble surrounding Swift’s current squalor isn’t something you’d expect from someone that turned 27 two months ago.

Seriously – a “Danger Men Drinking” sign on a front door of an actual house? College sophomores would be embarrassed to see that in a dorm room.

As the video shows, Swift’s abode is filled with empties, including Four Loko cans – a product that hasn’t been on the market since late 2010, and can only be purchased on the bro black market. And, as if this was some amazing satire and/or performance art, Swift has a Chevy El Camino with (Bakersfield) California plates from 2010 resting in the driveway without the hood affixed. To say little about his tribal-tat outfitted monster truck parked right behind it.
And the “When In Doubt, Empty the Magazine” bumper sticker affixed just above the warning sign about men drinking just about says it all. Here’s hoping whoever is living inside this residence isn’t mixing one bumper sticker with the other.

We disagree with KOMO’s assertion that Swift made “a reported $20 million playing hoops.” Robert worked through the duration of his rookie contract and signed for one year with the Oklahoma City Thunder once that franchise left Seattle in 2008. Basketball-Reference has his overall earnings at just under $11.5 million. Hardly a pittance, and certainly something to buy a house with, but half of what KOMO tossed out.

Still, there’s a bullet hole in one of the windows that isn’t boarded up. There’s a grace period that has expired. There are stupid placards and bumper stickers usually purchased by boys a decade younger than Robert Swift on the front door. Beer cans everywhere, and a career that should be entering its athletic prime gone terribly wrong.
Bummers all around, Robert Swift. Hopefully when you wake up, some of this can turn in the right direction.

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-b...bullet-ridden-beer-strewn-170507711--nba.html

 

[NOVoodoo]

As the video shows, Swift’s abode is filled with empties, including Four Loko cans – a product that hasn’t been on the market since late 2010, and can only be purchased on the bro black market.

You can still buy Four Loko's in stores. They just altered the formula.

 

[THE HCP]

When you're trash, you're trash...... no matter how much money you have!

 

[NOVoodoo]

When you're trash, you're trash...... no matter how much money you have!

But how can you say no to a face like this...

At least Kosta Koufos overcame his facial adversity to become a legitimate NBA player...

 

[Natebishop3]

It always amazes me how these people can lose so much money.

 

[NOVoodoo]

It always amazes me how these people can lose so much money.

Yeah, it is pretty ridiculous, even when people try to tell you about "agent %'s, taxes, hangers-on, etc." That's missing the point of how these people mismanage their money.

I really have no sympathy for Swift. He capitalized on the HS-to-pro trend, never really proved anything, could never really play, and amassed 11+ mill in salary in just a few years of playing the process. Now it's like he's trying to cling to some collegiate youth that he never had. There are a lot sadder stories of bankruptcy in pro sports. This one's just amusing. He's like Birdman without the career.

 

[Natebishop3]

Yeah, it is pretty ridiculous, even when people try to tell you about "agent %'s, taxes, hangers-on, etc." That's missing the point of how these people mismanage their money.

I really have no sympathy for Swift. He capitalized on the HS-to-pro trend, never really proved anything, could never really play, and amassed 11+ mill in salary in just a few years of playing the process. Now it's like he's trying to cling to some collegiate youth that he never had. There are a lot sadder stories of bankruptcy in pro sports. This one's just amusing. He's like Birdman without the career.

You feel bad for someone like Barkley though, who was legitimately conned by his manager. Seems to me, if you have any chance at all of going pro, you should really take some business classes and learn about finances.

 

[Haakzilla]

 

[NOVoodoo]

You feel bad for someone like Barkley though, who was legitimately conned by his manager. Seems to me, if you have any chance at all of going pro, you should really take some business classes and learn about finances.

Erick Barkley? I guess not being a Blazers diehard I missed out on that backstory... what happened there?

BTW - I've got to disagree with you about taking business class and learning about finances. When you're in a potential pro athlete's position, the things you learn in those classes are pretty much useless.

For the future pro athletes, it's really all about judgement and prudence at the end of the day. You can learn the inner-workings of a company's books, you can learn complex formulas to project financial trends, but at the end of the day, none of that really serves a real life purpose to these players. The idea that taking a few business classes in some way prepares these guys for the future is a farce. At the end of the day, it's their personalities and judgments in hiring their management team that really matter.

 

[Natebishop3]

Erick Barkley? I guess not being a Blazers diehard I missed out on that backstory... what happened there?

BTW - I've got to disagree with you about taking business class and learning about finances. I've got a business degree from one of the best undergrad business programs in the country, but when you're in a potential pro athlete's position, the things you learn in those classes are pretty much useless.

For the future pro athletes, it's really all about judgement and prudence at the end of the day. You can learn the inner-workings of a company's books, you can learn complex formulas to project financial trends, but at the end of the day, none of that really serves a real life purpose to these players. The idea that taking a few business classes in some way prepares these guys for the future is a farce. At the end of the day, it's their personalities and judgments in hiring their management team that really matter.

Charles Barkley. I had an auto-biography somewhere that was from the late 80's or early 90's where he talked about it. It was a long time ago when he was younger. I'm trying to find something about it but I don't think he really likes talking about it.

 

[julius]

I'm not sure whats funnier. The fact that these uniforms are an obvious knock off of the Lakers uniforms, or that this guy is white trash.

And yeah, that guy is a scary looking mother fucker. Not in the sense that he'd mug you or beat you up, but that he'd take you, chain you up against the wall and slowly eat your skin off your body.

And wear your scalp like a hat.

And vivisect you.

And then have sex with you.

Cut you up, put you in a blender, and shoot it up into his veins like a drug.

And wear his mothers clothing.

 

[speeds]

Meth?

 

[Haakzilla]

I'm not sure whats funnier. The fact that these uniforms are an obvious knock off of the Lakers uniforms, or that this guy is white trash.

And yeah, that guy is a scary looking mother fucker. Not in the sense that he'd mug you or beat you up, but that he'd take you, chain you up against the wall and slowly eat your skin off your body.

And wear your scalp like a hat.

And vivisect you.

And then have sex with you.

Cut you up, put you in a blender, and shoot it up into his veins like a drug.

And wear his mothers clothing.

...maybe he can transition to Hollywood, where being an alcoholic drug-addict is celebrated

 

[julius]

...maybe he can transition to Hollywood, where being an alcoholic drug-addict is celebrated

Winning!

 

[MickZagger]

He's from Bakersfield. That's all I needed to know.

 

[jlprk]

He's from where I spent my high school and some of my college days, San Bernardino County. Sweaty loco locals call it "the armpit of the world." Bakersfield is 300,000 people pressed together in the middle of the desert.

The genius Sonic scouting system, put together by Wally Walker, surprised the league by taking him with such an early pick. They were always surprising the league. The awful team needed someone who could produce now, so they'd draft a project.

As a rookie he was ridiculed for his short red hair and acne. See the picture in Post #4. Next year, long hair and injuries. Third (I think it was his last?) year, tattoos. Career-ending injury. It contributed to the Sonics crash. Fans saw that they kept drafting busts and waved them goodbye.

The 2007 financial bust made paying your mortgage cost more than refunding your property to the bank. There hadn't been many bankrupt NBA players until then. Bad investments by 20-year old jocks, what a surprise.

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

It always amazes me how these people can lose so much money.

Agreed. And I have zero sympathy. He can go work at McDonalds.

 

[drexlersdad]

had a decent year statwise as a 20 year old

money for nothing and chicks for free, cant really blame the guy

 

[Sedatedfork]

Well at least he left the house in decent shape...

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/...nic-robert-Swifts-squalid-home-195203241.html