Fun stuff to do this week/weekend in Portland for Christmas

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EL PRESIDENTE

EL PRESIDENTE

Username Retired in Honor of Lanny.
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What are some cool shit to do in Portland the next week or two.

I'm probably hitting up Festival of the Last Minute on the 24th (I get in late on the 23rd), then around the Pearl for the final few gifts I need to buy and to get some walking in too.

Other than that, what's good PDX?
 
barfo said:
Tamer than what I suggested, but a good suggestion.

barfo
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One time when I went this girl came out on stage. Really gorgeous, completely nude. She kneels down in front of this little stool. Places a tray on it. Then starts putting Barbie dolls in the tray. Next she takes lighter fluid and sprays it all over the Barbies. She then starts reading this poem about her fucked up childhood. Really dark shit. During the poem she pulls out a lighter and sets the Barbies on fire. It was a pretty big blaze. Black smoke filling the stage. Then she pulls out this really big knife and while yelling, "Mommy... mommy... why did you leave me mommy!" starts stabbing the flaming Barbie dolls. She now crying, still stabbing at the dolls, someone runs out with a fire extinguisher and put the fire out while someone else runs up and takes the knife from her.

She had really nice boobs.
 
And the SIN in SINferno stand for Sex Industry Night. All the damaged and deranged strippers in Portland get together to put on a happy little show.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
One time when I went this girl came out on stage. Really gorgeous, completely nude. She kneels down in front of this little stool. Places a tray on it. Then starts putting Barbie dolls in the tray. Next she takes lighter fluid and sprays it all over the Barbies. She then starts reading this poem about her fucked up childhood. Really dark shit. During the poem she pulls out a lighter and sets the Barbies on fire. It was a pretty big blaze. Black smoke filling the stage. Then she pulls out this really big knife and while yelling, "Mommy... mommy... why did you leave me mommy!" starts stabbing the flaming Barbie dolls. She now crying, still stabbing at the dolls, someone runs out with a fire extinguisher and put the fire out while someone else runs up and takes the knife from her.

She had really nice boobs.
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Don't you understand that the Barbies symbolized your penis?

barfo
 
SlyPokerDog said:
And the SIN in SINferno stand for Sex Industry Night. All the damaged and deranged strippers in Portland get together to put on a happy little show.
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Hmm....Ive seen a lot of the fucked up burlesque shows already, probably get bored pretty quick tbh. Maybe though.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
One time when I went this girl came out on stage. Really gorgeous, completely nude. She kneels down in front of this little stool. Places a tray on it. Then starts putting Barbie dolls in the tray. Next she takes lighter fluid and sprays it all over the Barbies. She then starts reading this poem about her fucked up childhood. Really dark shit. During the poem she pulls out a lighter and sets the Barbies on fire. It was a pretty big blaze. Black smoke filling the stage. Then she pulls out this really big knife and while yelling, "Mommy... mommy... why did you leave me mommy!" starts stabbing the flaming Barbie dolls. She now crying, still stabbing at the dolls, someone runs out with a fire extinguisher and put the fire out while someone else runs up and takes the knife from her.

She had really nice boobs.
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Cool! A stripper into Sylvia Plath, Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix!
 
EL PRESIDENTE said:
No. They strip and sing?

Might go to acrop
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No, you sing, they strip.


A bespectacled man stands in the back corner of the dimly lit stage, about five feet from the stripper pole. Nervously tapping the microphone against the white cast holding his right arm in place, he's ready to start. Or as ready as he'll ever be.


"Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to take a short break while the dancer gets ready for the next song," says the karaoke jockey at Devils Point.


Then the opening chords of George Michael's "Faith" start playing through the speakers.


"Well, I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body…" begins the man, only slightly off-key.


A heavily tattooed dancer enters stage left, a nun's wimple and veil sitting atop her bikini-clad body. She holds a plastic baby doll. This is the second song of her set, so her top is coming off. The small, eager crowd cheers and makes it rain with dollar bills as she pushes their faces into her silicone pillows.


The singer keeps his composure admirably—right up until the stripper-cum-nun throws him off by rubbing his crotch with the face of the doll, which has an upside-down cross on its back.


Welcome to karaoke, Portland-style. This city has a giant songbook of wild and wonderful karaoke nights. Variety is king here. Look around town and you'll find everything from traditional lounge fare, where the forlorn butcher "Total Eclipse of the Heart," to exquisite renditions of indie B-sides. We've been tipped off that the New York Times is about to proclaim Portland the nation's karaoke capital. Given the paper has called Kornblatts "one of the truly great New York delis outside the five boroughs" and proclaimed our city to be in "a Golden Age of Dining and Drinking" in 2007—we believe the rumor. Here are five karaoke nights that almost earn us such hype.



StripperaokeAlong with the nun dance, at Stripperaoke I've also seen a singer's voice crack during the chorus of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" as a beautiful topless dancer wrapped herself around his legs. The singers sing and the strippers dance, sometimes playing off the music, sometimes as an attempted distraction. The dancers rotate every two songs before going off to mingle and give private dances. Sitting at the stage costs $1 per song. The dancers' attractiveness and skill may vary, but your experience will not: It's a fun, hedonistic way to start a new week. 9 pm Sundays at Devils Point, 5305 SE Foster Road, 774-4513, devilspoint.net.

http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-19523-singing_in_the_strange.html

 
EL PRESIDENTE said:
What are some cool shit to do in Portland the next week or two.

I'm probably hitting up Festival of the Last Minute on the 24th (I get in late on the 23rd), then around the Pearl for the final few gifts I need to buy and to get some walking in too.

Other than that, what's good PDX?
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Get a bunch of single bills and offer a buck a joke to street bums...if they can make you laugh they get a buck..doesn't get much weirder but it's fun
 
riverman said:
Get a bunch of single bills and offer a buck a joke to street bums...if they can make you laugh they get a buck..doesn't get much weirder but it's fun
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I'll probably get stabbed.
 
If you like bars and drinking, Portland has some of the best dive bars out there. When I have friends from out of town I pick a neighborhood, start in mid afternoon, and just play the one drink per bar game. Only 1 drink, no matter what....... well maybe two, but that's it, any more and you start to become part of that bar. Keep it to one or two and you are always new and fresh, you don't get to drunk, and your very social. Doing this is a good way to see the downtown area and stop at a few food carts while your out. A few of my favorite places for this are

1) Downtown, 3rd and Ash street area, heading towards china town. Make sure to hit up Shanghai Tunnel, Ashstreet Saloon, Dantes, Bar XV and a few strip clubs Marys and Magic Garden in this area.

2) NW 21st/23rd area and Burnside towards the city. The Marathon and the bars around it on burnside are great hangouts, Blue Moon, Silver Dollar Pizza and others are good here.

3) Hawthorn area, don't know this well enough to give specific advice but another great neighborhood.
 
Another idea, Ive heard there are some good ghost tours, underground Portland tours and Shanghai Tunnel tours that might be worth checking out. Never done them personally though.
 
BLAZINGGIANTS said:
Eat at Lardo. Get the "dirty fries".

You should just go ahead and thank me now, but you can thank me later.
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This has been on my list for a while. Just tried that Sizzle Pie last time it was fucking great.
 
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