LAZY
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Get to know the real Mark Cuban, the man behind the billions and a Dairy Queen outfit...<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'><span style="font-size:8pt;line-height:100%">-Beneath Mark Cuban's hair, is more Mark Cuban hair. -Mark Cuban smells like sweat, $50?s, and finely escorted vagina.-Mark Cuban cracked corn because he doesn't care. -Mark Cuban once paid Ben Affleck $1.0 million to stop sucking....Ben Affleck owes Mark Cuban $1.0 million and an apology. -Mark Cuban has two chins and the second one has more money than you. -Mark Cuban grew a mustache for charity. That mustache now owns 10% of IBM.-Mark Cuban has 3 nipples. He loans one out to Keith Van Horn so he can continually suck. -Mark Cuban had open heart surgery. The doctors found a $100 bill, a boot and a lifetime supply of ?go F*ck yourself.' -Mark Cuban once visited a sick kid in a hospital and massaged his prostate. The kid died, but Mark Cuban made $3 million playing a scratch off ticket he bought in the hospital's lobby. -Mark Cuban doesn't pay for hookers. He sells their rights toYahoo! for $5.6 Billion in stock. -Mark Cuban owns shares in the IRS -Mark Cuban doesn't shave, he gives his facial hair a paid vacation and a flat screen TV. -Mark Cuban is chubby. But he's a billionaire. So it's cute.-Mark Cuban once jumped down, turned around and picked a bail of cotton?he did 6 months in prison and was fined $250,000 by the NBA. -Mark Cuban once mixed Coke and Pop Rocks. The next day he traded Michael Finley. -Mark Cuban was the 5th Beatle. Don't ask how. He's just that rich. -Mark Cuban's hair doesn't get combed. It gets fined. -Mark Cuban is allergic to tomatoes?for now -A man once asked to borrow a quarter, after 4 hours of haggling, Mark Cuban turned a profit of $16,000.-Mark Cuban gargles with Cristal. Mark Cuban gargles with Cristal. -Mark Cuban can't drive 55. Literally. He's just a terrible driver. Nothing funny about that?just thought you should know. -Mark Cuban is to basketball what Secretariat was to Alpo. You might wish otherwise, but he's there. - Mark Cuban is to good manners what Jumangi was to not sucking. -Mark Cuban wipes his ass with $100 bills. Last time he ate at Taco Bell it wound up costing him $47,000. -Mark Cuban once killed a Yak with his checkbook. -Beneath Mark Cuban's gruff exterior, is a little child crying to be heard?beneath that child is a pile of cash -Last year, Mark Cuban was fined the gross domestic product of Taiwan. Good thing he owns Taiwan. -Mark Cuban's payroll brings all the boys to the yard. That's right, it's better than yours. He'd teach you, but he'd have to charge. -Mark Cuban once paid Carrottop to not show up to his birthday. - Mark Cuban once winked at Jerry Jones?3 days later Jones showed up at Cuban's house with a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, and a facelift. -Mark Cuban fakes his wife's orgasms. He's just that busy. -Mark Cuban once molested Michael Jackson to teach him a lesson and, more importantly, to show him how to do it right. -Mark Cuban is so rich he owns 2 TV's. -Mark Cuban is to money, what money is to money. -Mark Cuban celebrates his birthday on July 32nd. Deal with it. -Mark Cuban sweats loose change. -Mark Cuban's wallet is 50% leather, 40% nylon and 10% of Michael Finley's ass. -Mark Cuban's wallet was last seen vacationing in St.Tropez with Paris Hilton's vagina. -Mark Cuban once was paid $50,000 to mow a man's lawn. That man's name? Mark Cuban. -Mark Cuban once went on a drinking binge that lasted a week. When it was over he woke up in a ditch in Tijuana only to find out he had made $50 million selling the rights to HORSECOCK.COM -Mark Cuban recently purchased Lindsay Lohan's dignity in exchange for $12 and a blizzard at Dairy Queen. -Mark Cuban runs with scissors. He's just that f*cking crazy. </span></div>I had to post this. Some of them are pretty dumb, but others gave me a good laugh
