Zombie Help! I got a chick Pregnant!!!!!

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Re: Super OT: Help! I got a chick Pregnant!!!!!

To be honest if money is an issue, I'd offer to pay the whole cost. A few extra hundred bucks is better than a baby if that's a cause for her to hesitate. I know what you mean though, I've had a few accidents where the girl had to get the Morning After Pill....no kids that I know of here.

My best friend got his ex-girlfriend pregnant during senior year of high school. I was the first person to find out...she called me at 2 a.m. and I went over to her house, took her to the clinic the next day. She was pregnant. The people at the clinic naturally thought I was the dad and gave me such nasty looks. Big black lady with her arms folded saying "nah uh you didn't". Seriously.

As for them, she kept the baby and they have a second daughter as well now (married as well) although I don't know if they're really happy as opposed to going through the motions for the children. That's a lot for a couple of 24 year olds.

Reminds me of my best friend. He was banging this chick we worked with, she was pretty ugly but was a huge whore. Anyways, she told him she had some problem with her uterus that prevented her from having kids, so she encouraged him to go bagless. Next thing you know, she's pregnant and wants to have the kid. My friend was so pissed off, he didn't talk to her the whole time she was pregnant. Eventually, his mother convinced him to "do the right thing" and he ended up getting back with her, even though they absolutely hated each other. They ended up getting married a couple years later and had another kid. When she got pregnant the second time, his exact words to me were "yeah, more child support I'm gonna have to pay when I get divorced". His life was pretty miserable (aside from his 2 beautiful daughters) throughout the marriage. They finally ended up getting divorced, which is great for the kids, because they were living in a horrible environment. The oldest one has some severe issues now because of the home she grew up in.
 
How old are you? And do the both of you have a part time job to cover her checkups? Of course if she has health insurance than that helps too.
However, she still has to go through the first tri-mester (3 months). Within this time her body might reject the egg as other conditions are not set right. After that then you can start planning on helping her out if her body doesn't reject it.

P.S. I have two kids, ages 4 and 1.5 (married).
 
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:cool:

Ded u ghet tu haf secks wuth hur beefour thu mistcarij wif out a jimmee?

kund uv purfekt cituzation tu.

Unfortunately I was able to read your post! That's kinda messed up man!
 
P.S. I have two kids, ages 4 and 1.5 (married).

What's wrong with you, man? Those kids are way too young to be married!

barfo
 
What's wrong with you, man? Those kids are way too young to be married!

barfo
:biglaugh: Heh nice one Barfo. I met to say that I was married but I like your input though. It made me laugh.
 
Man, that's tough. I can't confirm I've ever had one slip past the goalie until my wife and I tried, but I've always been exceedingly careful. Sometimes these things work themselves out on their own. I've had two ex's who missed their periods and then a few weeks later had unusually heavy flows. Their gynos said that happens more often than we think.

However, if this thing is coming, make a decision sooner rather than later. For the life of me, I don't understand those people who get abortions a couple of months after finding out about the pregnancy, without a medical issue coming up.

I will tell you this: nnce you see an ultrasound and how an egg turns into a fetus it makes it much harder. The cardiac tissue grows first, so you can see the heartbeat. If you're going to choose to abort the baby, you don't want to see that heartbeat.

Best of luck.
 
A chick? Is she laying an egg?

Oh yes, one word: condoms.

Seriously, isn't it weird that everyone here is expressing sympathy to the poster but I have yet to see one word of sympathy for the woman? Isn't she going through a tougher time? All she is getting is nasty comments or just ignored.

I used to be a clinic volunteer at Lovejoy Surgicenter in Portland - escorting women through the screaming haters. (No, that is not too strong a word, if you disagree, go listen to them some time.) If Lovejoy is still there, I can recommend them, assuming you are in the Portland area. If you're in the Bay Area, Oakland Planned Parenthood.
 
A chick? Is she laying an egg?

Oh yes, one word: condoms.

Seriously, isn't it weird that everyone here is expressing sympathy to the poster but I have yet to see one word of sympathy for the woman? Isn't she going through a tougher time? All she is getting is nasty comments or just ignored.

I used to be a clinic volunteer at Lovejoy Surgicenter in Portland - escorting women through the screaming haters. (No, that is not too strong a word, if you disagree, go listen to them some time.) If Lovejoy is still there, I can recommend them, assuming you are in the Portland area. If you're in the Bay Area, Oakland Planned Parenthood.

Well, if the woman posts here, I imagine she'd get some sympathy. Whether you choose to believe it or not, we're not a board of misogynists.
 
Any tidbits of info would be appreciated especially similar past experiences.

and to the mod who is curious and is gonna figure out who this is by my IP address...just keep it to yourself.

Do whatever you have to do to seal the deal.

PAY FOR EVERYTHING. Make it as easy as possible for her.

Do not risk her "changing her mind".

Be her best freaking friend.....at least until AFTER its over.

Make sure no one...friends, family, etc.....get enough time with her to sell her on having that baby.

Talk up the abortion and what you will do after. Make special plans for a weekend at the beach or a trip to Mexico. "Hon, once this is over, we'll take a nice little trip together". Make it sound like a trip to the spa. PAY FOR EVERYTHING. Make it as easy as possible for her. I know I said that twice. Its important. If you have to borrow the money then do it. It will be well worth it, and its a small fraction of the cost of raising a kid.

By the way, I'm not sure I believe the antibiotics thing. She may have forgotten to take the freaking pill, or chose not to. But even if you were scammed here, you have to take care of business.
 
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I used to be a clinic volunteer at Lovejoy Surgicenter in Portland - escorting women through the screaming haters. (No, that is not too strong a word, if you disagree, go listen to them some time.) If Lovejoy is still there, I can recommend them, assuming you are in the Portland area. If you're in the Bay Area, Oakland Planned Parenthood.

One more thing. I happen to be pro-choice, but to call those protesters "haters" is simply ignorant. They're taking a principled stand against what they believe is murder. If you thought someone was going to be murdered, wouldn't you vociferously protest? I appreciate the fact that you often call on people in here to consider other opinions and other points of view. In this case you should take your own advice and consider the position of the people that are pro-life.
 
One more thing. I happen to be pro-choice, but to call those protesters "haters" is simply ignorant. They're taking a principled stand against what they believe is murder. If you thought someone was going to be murdered, wouldn't you vociferously protest? I appreciate the fact that you often call on people in here to consider other opinions and other points of view. In this case you should take your own advice and consider the position of the people that are pro-life.


I do consider them every time I drive by and flip them the bird.
 
Can antibiotics decrease the effectiveness of birth control pills?

The effects of antibiotics on birth control pills may be overstated — except in the case of one antibiotic, rifampin. Studies clearly show that rifampin decreases the effectiveness of birth control pills in preventing ovulation. However, rifampin isn't a widely used antibiotic. Chances are you wouldn't be taking it unless you had tuberculosis or had tested positive for the disease.

Hypothetically speaking, other antibiotics, particularly penicillin and tetracycline derivatives, could impair the effectiveness of birth control pills. However, no large studies have proved such an effect.

Researchers can't rule out the possibility that a small percentage of women may experience decreased effectiveness of birth control pills while taking an antibiotic. And if you're taking a newer, extremely low-dose oral contraceptive, you could be more susceptible to these potential effects from antibiotics. If you're concerned, consider using a barrier method of contraception for the duration of your antibiotic prescription.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/birth-control-pill/WO00098
 
One more thing. I happen to be pro-choice, but to call those protesters "haters" is simply ignorant. They're taking a principled stand against what they believe is murder. If you thought someone was going to be murdered, wouldn't you vociferously protest? I appreciate the fact that you often call on people in here to consider other opinions and other points of view. In this case you should take your own advice and consider the position of the people that are pro-life.


Maxie, I honestly don't consider everyone who opposes legal abortion a "hater", although I seriously wonder about those who think, for example, that an 11 year old girl raped by her father should be forced by law to carry to term. And I absolutely respect the view and actions of a woman who chooses to carry to term, because of personal opposition to abortion, even if circumstances are such that I would never in a million years carry to term in her place. Because it is her personal decision.

I am talking about those outside clinics. They are not taking a "principled stand against what they believe is murder". They are calling women sluts and whores, they are telling them "why didn't you keep your legs crossed", they are getting into women's faces and demanding "were you raped or did you just spread your legs for him". One of them told me he would never, ever, under any circumstances, use a condom. They have told women they are muderers, and, get this, having an abortion will turn them into lesbians, which of course they consider the worst thing in the world. They have tried to physically block the doors, ignoring the fact that people may be going in for many other purposes. They have videotaped women entering clinics and posted the videos on line. They have copied license plate numbers and then picketed women's homes. They have issued death threats against docs and clinic workers - the woman who owned Lovejoy Surgicenter had to hire private security to walk her children to school after "pro life" groups threatened their lives. They have gone to high schools and told students one of their fellow students was pregnant and they should try to "prevent" her from having an abortion. When a 13 year old Idaho girl impregnated by her father who tried to get an abortion was shot and killed by the rapist father, they provided his legal defense. Some groups have defended denying abortion even if the pregnancy would kill the woman on the stated grounds that the life of a pregnant woman is less important than that of a fetus that may be male. They have told husbands and boyfriends to beat women in order to stop them from having abortions.

And of course, some have bombed clinics and killed medical and support personnel. Admittedly that is an extreme minority, but main anti choice groups say things like well, they are wrong, but we really understand...

I'm sorry to run on so long, but those people are haters. Their "principled stand" is that sex is a sin, at least for women, and that women who indulge must be punished. Which is why they oppose birth control and comprehensive sex education, that can reduce unwanted pregancy and abortion. Some of them have said outright that access to information and contraception takes the price out of sex. Recently, a state senator voted against a bill to require HIV testing be made available to pregnant women so that maternal-child transmission can be avoided, a senator who calls himself 100% opposed to abortion, saying in so many words that if a woman has a child with AIDS it would then make her think about her "promiscuity".

Again, sorry, I am not trying to sidetrack this into a general abortion debate, which is unfair to the poster and most of all to the woman.

Let's just say you really hit a never, because I have dealt with these people (and I'm a woman). They have absolute utter contempt for women.
 
Regular poster and friend, I can't imagine what stress you're under, especially if you're still school-aged (whether HS or college). I'm lucky in that this is something I never had to worry about. Nonetheless, I'm praying for a sense of peace and understanding and the two of you go forward in this.

First, though, you're the man in this--make sure you act like one. Exert some leadership--do everything you can so that you deal with as many of the "tough" things as possible. Don't make her feel alone in this. (Though it sounds like you're doing ok in this part).

This will probably be pooh-poohed a bit b/c you know (since you're regular) that I'm pro-life and believe in imaginary friends. But I would seriously ask you to just consider the possibility of carrying the baby to term. As others in here have said, there are people who literally beg and pray everyday to get pregnant and cannot do so. Our best friends are in their 30's and unable to have children, so they're going through a lengthy adoption process hoping that someone in Africa or China can give them a baby. We've been trying for 5 years now, and have no children. There are organizations whose charter is to help the girl out as much as possible through the pregnancy (and, of course, you can look at the "Juno" situations of dealing directly with families).

If you want to know more, send a PM my way. If you just want to chat, same thing.
 
It happened to me when I was younger. I paid for half. She commited suicide later.
 
In college I dated a girl who'd had an abortion with a previous guy. The abortion had gone wrong, and she told me she could never have kids. We had unprotected sex for nearly 3 years.

A month after we broke up she mentioned, "You know, I wasn't exactly positive I couldn't have kids. My doctor just said it wasn't likely. I guess we know for sure now, though. Ha ha!" I went ballistic.

It's 12 years later, and I found out just two days ago via Facebook that she just gave birth to a little girl.

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE.

None of this really helps you, I realize. But I figured I'd get in on the group therapy, because it's still fucking with my head a little.

Anyway, lots of sound advice here. As with most situations, if you follow the golden rule of "Don't be an asshole and do the best you can," it's pretty obvious to you how to handle this. If you are both strong enough, convince her to carry it to term so she can put it up for adoption. If you aren't, recognize your limitations and have an abortion.

Myself, I plan on playing with my own two amazing kids tonight (ages 3 and 1) I had with the woman I love and THANKING GOD ALMIGHTY THAT THROUGH RANDOM FUCKING CHANCE THERE AIN'T A THIRD ONE WITH THAT MOTHER FUCKING CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND.
 
Well, the poster can't consider continuing with the pregnancy since he is not pregnant.

Another person suggested taking the woman out to celebrate afterwards. Kindly meant, but I think not a great idea. (Honestly, are there no other women here?)

A first trimester abortion takes about 10 minutes under local anesthesia, but afterwards a woman may have heavy cramps, heavy bleeding, lower back pain, or be groggy from pain medication. All this is normal and will go away in a day or two, but she's hardly likely to want to dance all night.

Also, while the vast majority of women who have abortions consider it the right decision to have made at that time, the vast majority also either have children or plan to eventually have children. So a woman may feel that had circumstances been different she'd have wanted to carry the pregnancy, and feel some sadness, but not regret. Also, a woman, especially if the cramps are really nasty, may feel grouchy and inclined to take it out on the person seen as responsible, i.e., the man. Of course, there are also the men who are totally prepared to be super sensitive and supportive and are confounded when the woman comes out of the clinic cracking jokes. My point is that all these are normal, depending on the individual, but again, she may not be up for dancing all night.

I would suggest strongly that you let yourself by guided by her. Suggest a quiet dinner somewhere. But if she says no, if she wants to be alone or with a woman friend, that is not a rejection of you or of your relationship. Give her a call in a day or two.

I have never been pregnant, so never had an abortion, but I've been around this issue for, I am sure, far longer than you've been alive, been a clinic volunteer and known a lot of women who've had abortions, so if you want to PM me I'd be happy to reply and promise I will keep your identity secret - I feel very strongly about the right to privacy.
 
How did I know she would say this....Shes having "2nd thoughts"....There is a 500lbs boulder on my chest right now.

She is at the OBGYN as I write this getting an ultrasound to confirm...I told her to call me when she was on her way home so I could cruise over to her place.

She told me the "2nd thoughts" by text message so I just let that one slide until we meet face to face. (No, we arent in HS..we are both in the 25-29 year old range)

Im gonna fucking puke...IMO Ive decided this is not the time to say the nice thing just to be nice. Im not saying Im gonna try and piss her off or anything but I am gonna be 100% honest in my feelings on this matter and between us. I refuse...I fucking refuse for my life to go down this path right now. I dont love her, she's a great screw and a good person but I am in no way in love with her. Im not gonna marry someone "because of the kid". That is just stupid and would make life miserable for everybody. All this can be resolved for about $200 bucks or so which I am more than willing to pay...fuck, add a zero onto that 200 and Im still happy to pay. She is not having this baby, I truly dont think she wants to either but is understandably emotional right now.

We have had this conversation before about what we would do if this ever happened. Obviously we took the precautions to not go down this path but nature beat us. She said she would have an abortion if this ever happened. She has also said multiple times after hanging out with her friends that have kids that she could never have one....she doesnt want to have kids, she is just confused and emotional.


fuck fuck fuck
 
Calm down! I again strongly advise she (and you) go to Planned Parenthood. They are very very experienced at discussing the often mixed feelings women have, and what their options are. They are very good at sorting through what she wants vs. what others tell her to.

Don't marry her if you don't wish to, that is a disaster.

But you can't force her, you know. Screaming and name calling are not going to be very persuasive.

Do you live in Oregon? I ask because you mention ultrasound. It is actually hazardous for a woman to have an ultrasound in early pregnancy, but in some states opponents of legal abortion have made ultrasound a requirement, despite risk to woman and fetus, as a way of making abortion more difficult, expensive, and emotional. But I don't think Oregon is one of those states.
 

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