How long does it take to truly get over someone?

[BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94]

Serious question.

I've been struggling with this for the past three years and wanted to know what y'all's experience is with it.

 

[barfo]

Serious question.

I've been struggling with this for the past three years and wanted to know what y'all's experience is with it.

Still missing Raymond Felton, eh?

barfo

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

HOW OLD ARE YOU, SON?

 

[KingSpeed]

Some people you never get over. Sad but true.

 

[BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94]

HOW OLD ARE YOU, SON?

Nearly 21, but the age thing doesn't matter. This woman was my first and is the mother of my child.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Some people you never get over. Sad by true.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Nearly 21, but the age thing doesn't matter. This woman was my first and is the mother of my child.

Approximately how many other women have you splooged on. If the answer is less than 10, then there you go you need to go out and sow your royal oats bruh.

 

[BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94]

Approximately how many other women have you splooged on. If the answer is less than 10, then there you go you need to go out and sow your royal oats bruh.

Damn, only 7 after. Wait, do strictly beejs count? Because if they do, 12.

Jesus.. I sound like a whore...

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Damn, only 7 after. Wait, do strictly beejs count? Because if they do, 12.

NO. Bang 3 more girls, and if you're still having this problem, let us know and we'll get to stage 2.

 

[BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94]

NO. Bang 3 more girls, and if you're still having this problem, let us know and we'll get to stage 2.

Do you know how hard it was to have sex with the black women in Salem that weren't related to my baby mama? That alone should be worth double. Also, I was with a girl who lives on 82nd and foster... That should be worth 3 points for escaping with my life.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

You have a scarcity mindset. (There are a limited number of women out there)

Have an abundance mindset. (There are an unlimited number of women out there)

 

[Haakzilla]

...for every year you were with baby's mama it will take at least twice as many years to get over her -- time and hobbies help most -- good luck!

 

[donkiez]

Im still not over my first love and its been 13 years. Some people you will never get over, their presence in your life just has to be appreciated for what it was.

 

[crandc]

There is no one right answer. Depends on situation.

Some people I was totally over in 2 weeks.

One person I will carry with me lifelong. That person I will go to my grave loving.

If you feel that not "moving on" is a problem, then you may need to figure out - why can't you? Was it pride that was hurt? Do you honestly feel that person was the one true love of your life? Have you tried dating others? Do you want to "get back at" the person? Do you have unrealistic expectations, for example, thinking you will fall in love at first sight with someone new and if you don't, give up on him/her?

I mean, I can't answer these questions, only you can.

Would it help you to know we've all been through it? I once met a young man (he was just shy of 27, I was at that time about 3 years older) whose first every gf dropped him and when I told him not that it's any consolation, but we've all been there, he replied that it was consolation, he honestly thought he was the only person who'd ever been dumped.

 

[JfizzleBlazer]

Sometimes you never get over someone. But tbh, there are multiple people out there you will be happy with. Just take your love for the other person as a learning experience and hold a special place in your heart for them.

As you get older it's easy to get caught up on young love because it's passionate, all In, never been hurt before, puppy love.

Grown up love is great too, a lot less stupid drama, it's just different.

 

[Stevenson]

You never truly get over the first. Life will move on, you will fall in love again, have kids, great things will happen, I promise. But also, that first one will always be special, irreplaceable, bittersweet.

 

[KingSpeed]

Aww

 

[barfo]

Misty watercolor memories... of the way we were...

barfo

 

[BLAZINGGIANTS]

Nearly 21, but the age thing doesn't matter. This woman was my first and is the mother of my child.

Baby mama? Shit, son. That's clearly going to take you 18 years to "get over".

Truth, FAMS!

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

OH SNAP, SON! :MARIS61:

 

[BLAZINGGIANTS]

Hammer. Dropped.

 

[jlprk]

I dont remember our argument on this board but...I want you to get over it. For the good of both of us.

And the baby.

 

[HomerLovesKoolAid]

To answer this question accurately we need to know jlprk's age and blueness of Bellingham's dive bars.

 

[julius]

man, just be glad you aren't dating a single mom....


oooh..

 

[BlazerWookee]

If you still get to break off a piece every so often, next time you do her, pull it out of her butt and wipe your dick on the curtains. The angry rebuke you'll get from her will help you close the door on any feelings you may still harbor for her...

 

[tlongII]

^^ The Dirty Sanchez is another option. ^^

 

[3RA1N1AC]

without knowing the sad details of your ever present and thus far perpetual longing, its really hard to say.

so, the advice of el prez rings true. fuck everything until it feels better. if it never does, at least you tried.

 

[crandc]

May I put in another $.02?

Sometimes after a parting people go one of two ways. The other person was a total creepazoid, a waste of time and energy, good riddance to bad rubbish, why did I ever spend time with that jerk? Or, the other person gets idealized, we were always happy together, everything we did was fun, I'll never meet another like him/her. Ask yourself if you are falling into either trap. Because on sober reflection, neither one is likely to be totally true (well, number one, if you got stuck with someone truly abusive but I don't think that's the case here).

 

[magnifier661]

Serious question.

I've been struggling with this for the past three years and wanted to know what y'all's experience is with it.

It all depends on how u move on, as cliche as it sounds. My first divorce took forever to get over. I tried dating and trying to find a better woman, but that totally failed.

My advice honestly is to work on yourself. Don't concentrate on partying because it only brings memories of your girl after you come home. I made music and painted, so finding a good hobby like camping or bike riding is very important.

Lastly, and most important, forgive her and want nothing but the best for her. Even if it means finding a man that is good to her. Selflessness and forgiveness was my quickest way of recovery.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

I think the concept "getting over someone" differs depending on the person. In my experience, one of the biggest problems people have in relationships--current or past--is the idea that they are less of a person without the other, or that their life is incomplete without that person. That seems to be the biggest obstacle in getting over someone; realizing that their absence in your doesn't necessarily make your life less, just different, and learning how to be OK with that.

BDSMFan--You loved her, probably still love her, and likely will always love her. That's OK. But Mags is right--work on yourself. If you view her absence as a hole that must be filled, you'll never be satisfied. You need to be OK with yourself without someone in order to truly be ready to be with someone.