OT "I'm Dealing With A Few Transgender Issues" (1 Viewer)

[Phatguysrule]

Look, again, me being called a racist and hater is offensive to me. Can I deal with it? Sure, but it's a personal insult and has no place in this forum.

Sure, I rely on links in here.....just like most everyone else. Big whoop. That said, I've ALSO shared personal (and, frankly, some of them very vulnerable) stories which lend to back my personal beliefs, values, journeys, and so on. So, please don't simply say I provide no context in matters. You'd be incorrect in that assessment.

Regarding gay people, what I've maintained is that I don't support gay marriage. I believe marriage is a union....before God....between and man and a woman. Simple. Period. Does this mean that I hate gays? Absolutely not! So, please, everyone, stop with those accusations. The basis for those claims are baseless and ludicrous to me.

Regarding transgenders, same applies. There's flat-out no hate there, either. Does that mean I don't have questions? No. Sure, I've had questions questions. Still do....even in my own family, as shared and discussed in this thread numerous times. Does that mean I don't have issues with potential abuses? No. READ MY POSTS IN THIS THREAD...AND OTHERS! But, again. Hate?! Strong and uncalled for word. The mods allow it, though, so, so be it. It's your prerogative.

In my Bible....we're ALL sinners....only saved through the Grace of God through Jesus. The Bible is clear on that. It also says, get the board out of your own eye before calling out the speck in someone else's. We're called to love each other. I do my best to do that. As a believer, I'm also called to stand for righteousness, God's righteousness. There is no other standard. If that means supporting certain statutes/laws that reflect God's standards, I'll unabashedly do that.

These are my beliefs. If someone wants to come in here and say there is no God, and I'm full of it. No problemo. That's happened numerous times in here and I'm certain will happen again and again. That's quite OK with me. That said, my recent beef has only been as it relates to me being called a racist/hater, etc. I know you get that, Chris. I really do.

Who called you a racist or hater? Can you link the post?

 

[ABM]

Who called you a racist or hater? Can you link the post?

Not naming names. They know who they are. Simply asking the mods to consider my comments/request from this point on.

 

[Orion Bailey]

Not naming names. They know who they are. Simply asking the mods to consider my comments/request from this point on.

good luck with that…

 

[ABM]

You roll with that.

 

[Orion Bailey]

You rock with that. Lol.

 

[Phatguysrule]

Not naming names. They know who they are. Simply asking the mods to consider my comments/request from this point on.

I don't recall anybody calling you a name, certainly not without having the post removed.

Otherwise, from my perspective they have explained why your actions and stances may cause people to think you are aligned with people who are commonly understood to meet those definitions...

I understand if that is uncomfortable, but I haven't seen anything out of line that hasn't been deleted by the mods.

 

[Chris Craig]

Not naming names. They know who they are. Simply asking the mods to consider my comments/request from this point on.

I haven't seen anyone directly call you either of those, at least not in a long time. If I did I would remove it because it's an insult.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

As a moderator, though, despite your personal beliefs on the matter(s), simply condoning someone calling me a racist and/or hater is laziness in my opinion. I'm not certain of you've liked any of those posts, but Sly certainly has. Irresponsible.

Where did she call you a racist?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Not naming names. They know who they are. Simply asking the mods to consider my comments/request from this point on.

No one.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Who called you a racist or hater? Can you link the post?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

@ABM

As I have told you before, you were the one who showed me that an online anonymous internet forum can in fact become a community that exists and meets outside of the confines of cyberspace. That collectively by coming together we can actually enhance or expand the reasons we post on an internet forum. You, through your actions and examples, showed me what could be.

For that I thank you.

Now within this community of rabid Trail Blazer fans, we have members who also reflect or represent members of other communities.

Sadly there are a few communities/demographics that are, IMO, underrepresented here. Some of these are people of color, women, and the LBGQ+ communities. Fortunately, we have one person who openly, passionately, and intelligently represents two of these communities. @crandc brings a voice and perspective to this community that is greatly needed. That without it there would be a noticeable perspective and input that was missing.

Interestingly enough, these three areas, in looking at what you like to post about, are the same three communities of people that are minimally represented here, people of color, women, and the LBGQ+.

You have not been prevented from posting your opinions on these 3 communities and your support of people, politicians, and laws that regulate and control these communities.

Multiple threads, multiple posts, and multiple justifications and why these communities don’t deserve the same voice and standing that you have.

And again, you have been freely allowed to express these views.

But when your primary focus here is to post about these communities and to post in support of laws and people who want to regulate these communities it’s pretty clear that you do not support them. You justify these views and actions by your personal religious beliefs and that your religious beliefs are what influence your political beliefs.

And you have been freely allowed to share these views.

But ABM, when you continually post negatively and argumentatively about these communities you have to own that people are going to assume you do not like these communities. When people ask you to just simply read, listen, or watch something that goes against your views and opinions about these communities and you flatly refuse to, people are going to assume you do not like these communities.

Now, onto your complaints about what Crandc said and I liked.

You have said multiple times she called you a racist.

She did not.

You have said multiple times I liked the post where she called you a racist.

I did not.

You have said multiple times that she said you hate trans and people of the LBGQ+ communities.

She did not.

You have said multiple times that I liked a post where she said you hate trans and people of the LBGQ+ communities.

I did not.

You have said that gay people should not be allowed to get married.

You have shown support for people and laws that support limiting the rights of the LBGQ+ community.

The only person who has labeled you a racist is you.

 

[crandc]

May I add, and I absolutely do not want to be the subject of this thread, I have in fact answered a lot of questions. Yet repeatedly ABM has ignored questions asked him. Including my most recent. He opposes marriage equality because it's not in his bible but in his bible are polygamy, requiring rape victims to marry the rapist, killing non virgin brides and slavery. Does he support those things because they are mandated in his bible? I honestly don't think he does although I could be wrong. So why is it wrong to support marriage equality, which bible simply doesn't mention, but OK to oppose slavery, which bible supports?

 

[ABM]

May I add, and I absolutely do not want to be the subject of this thread, I have in fact answered a lot of questions. Yet repeatedly ABM has ignored questions asked him. Including my most recent. He opposes marriage equality because it's not in his bible but in his bible are polygamy, requiring rape victims to marry the rapist, killing non virgin brides and slavery. Does he support those things because they are mandated in his bible? I honestly don't think he does although I could be wrong. So why is it wrong to support marriage equality, which bible simply doesn't mention, but OK to oppose slavery, which bible supports?

I don't see every one of your posts. Many times you don't quote me, so I don't get a notification. Sin entered this world via Adam & Eve. God allowed complete Old Testament atrocities. Many I have no answers for. Despite all that, Jesus was born and He is the model. Through His Grace, and His Grace alone, we are saved. I believe it, I've received it, and it's a done deal.

 

[Chris Craig]

The Bible does not say anything about being homosexual as far as I know.
Here's the best source on the subject that I could find:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/what-does-the-bible-say-about-homosexuality

Sodom and Gomorrah.

Leviticus

 

[Orion Bailey]

I don't see every one of your posts. Many times you don't quote me, so I don't get a notification. Sin entered this world via Adam & Eve. God allowed complete Old Testament atrocities. Many I have no answers for. Despite all that, Jesus was born and He is the model. Through His Grace, and His Grace alone, we are saved. I believe it, I've received it, and it's a done deal.

this happens alot. I have considered it passive aggressive. Maybe thats wrong.
Communication, between two people, means quoting each other so the conversation can have a reflection and stay in context.

 

[YamTastic]

I remember when I came out as trans to Orion Bailey at a Blazers game he'd invited me to. He was really gracious, and the entire thing was extremely low-stress, especially since I was scared out of my wits being trans in public, let alone at a sports event. Near the end he mentioned that I didn't need to go any further with my transition. I'm sure it was meant as a sort of "you're fine as you are" comment, but I remember feeling a little sad that the support was all weighted in the "stay the way you are" side, and not on the "keep going" side.

So much of cis people's opinions of trans people center around cis comfort and cis convenience. Being trans is, in a lot of people's eyes (including my own in the decades before I came out to myself) intensely transgressive. It takes a lot of effort to wrap your brain around, and even more to accept that someone else can, and should, lead their life their way without your comfort in mind. So much of my early days post-transition were spent kind of raging against people who centered their comfort level in their arguments about me and people like me.

I've finally calmed down about that, thank god. It took seven years, but I finally feel like I'm confident enough in myself that I don't really get heated about that junk anymore.

It's really tough on newly out trans people, having to answer a bunch of questions and concerns from people who need you to comfort them in some way, to reassure them that they aren't the enemy to you, or to let them know you're one of the good ones so they can exist beside you without feeling scared of some repercussions for saying something ignorant. Newly out trans people usually have nobody supporting them no-questions-asked, and everybody questioning them. Naturally they get defensive, aggressive, and use bravado and anger to push through the crowd and find their people, the people who will actually support them without questioning them.

It takes years. It is not easy. Not all of us make it.

But a damn sight more of us make it after that process begins, than before when even entertaining the thought of coming out is somehow more difficult than just killing yourself instead, either slowly through nihilistic behavior, or all at once. A lot of us don't make it to the point where we come out, because the world is making it known that they don't want the path to be easy for us.

The solutions to a lot of the "issues" here come down to consent, confidence, and timing.

1. If your child tells you they're trans, believe them. It's fucking scary for you, and 10x scarier for them. What they need most is a no-questions-asked supporter. Gotta get that attempted suicide rate down.
2. Puberty blockers are safe, and have been used for decades on kids with precocious puberty syndrome. Trust me when I say you can induce puberty at any time, but it'll be most effective if you have a blank hormonal slate to work with. The best part here is: totally reversible, and is a step forward for the kiddo, so they probably won't feel like they're totally unsupported.
3. If you get them the puberty blockers early enough, the stress about surgery at 16 or whatever goes away because they don't grow the parts of them they'll end up wanting removed.

An interesting sidebar: Puberty blockers early enough would remove the inherent physical differences between boys and girls from a sport perspective. The trick here is making the environment safe enough for kids to come out when they know, not when they feel like coming out is the only thing to keep them alive.

In an ideal world, your kid would tell you when they figured it out. That's usually pretty early, like before 12 years. That gives supportive parents (remember this is an ideal world) the opportunity to get their kid on the medicine they need: puberty blockers, then the correct hormones, then any required surgeries in tandem with the hormone therapy. All this would be easy to access and affordable, because it's an ideal world. These actions are expressions of love and support to the child, and as they go through the correct puberty at roughly the correct time, their life will be in the long run minimally affected.

Being transgender is not a choice; it cannot be morally wrong.

It isn't a malady of the mind, it is an incongruity of the body.

The reason we're in this mess, the reason transness is associated with mental illness and suicide, and with weird, half-feral aggression is because the world isn't just "not ideal"; it is actively, openly, and proudly hostile. Trans people grow up with trauma: the trauma of having to hide, or being visible and targeted, of wondering if you are legal, wondering which one among the people you're around at the cafeteria will decide to become a legend and try to kill you, of wondering if anyone in that crowd of people will stop that person, of hearing your people loudly and actively mocked and called pathetic or crazy or ugly. Trauma does bad things to people, gives them paranoia, gives them ticks and bad coping mechanisms, gives them the feeling that, if everyone thinks they're a mistake doomed to die, then why not live up to that.

And the closer to home that trauma comes from, the more intense it is. The World hating you is one thing; your sibling or parent questioning something so fundamental about you? That's honestly ten times worse to hear.

I don't have a good ending to this rant; I just wish there were more compassion for my people, especially from people I otherwise respect and like. I left this forum as an angry baby-trans, and I come back as a trans elder; I'm glad I'm back, but I wish it wasn't because of this thread.

--BC

 

[SlyPokerDog]

I remember when I came out as trans to Orion Bailey at a Blazers game he'd invited me to. He was really gracious, and the entire thing was extremely low-stress, especially since I was scared out of my wits being trans in public, let alone at a sports event. Near the end he mentioned that I didn't need to go any further with my transition. I'm sure it was meant as a sort of "you're fine as you are" comment, but I remember feeling a little sad that the support was all weighted in the "stay the way you are" side, and not on the "keep going" side.

So much of cis people's opinions of trans people center around cis comfort and cis convenience. Being trans is, in a lot of people's eyes (including my own in the decades before I came out to myself) intensely transgressive. It takes a lot of effort to wrap your brain around, and even more to accept that someone else can, and should, lead their life their way without your comfort in mind. So much of my early days post-transition were spent kind of raging against people who centered their comfort level in their arguments about me and people like me.

I've finally calmed down about that, thank god. It took seven years, but I finally feel like I'm confident enough in myself that I don't really get heated about that junk anymore.

It's really tough on newly out trans people, having to answer a bunch of questions and concerns from people who need you to comfort them in some way, to reassure them that they aren't the enemy to you, or to let them know you're one of the good ones so they can exist beside you without feeling scared of some repercussions for saying something ignorant. Newly out trans people usually have nobody supporting them no-questions-asked, and everybody questioning them. Naturally they get defensive, aggressive, and use bravado and anger to push through the crowd and find their people, the people who will actually support them without questioning them.

It takes years. It is not easy. Not all of us make it.

But a damn sight more of us make it after that process begins, than before when even entertaining the thought of coming out is somehow more difficult than just killing yourself instead, either slowly through nihilistic behavior, or all at once. A lot of us don't make it to the point where we come out, because the world is making it known that they don't want the path to be easy for us.

The solutions to a lot of the "issues" here come down to consent, confidence, and timing.

1. If your child tells you they're trans, believe them. It's fucking scary for you, and 10x scarier for them. What they need most is a no-questions-asked supporter. Gotta get that attempted suicide rate down.
2. Puberty blockers are safe, and have been used for decades on kids with precocious puberty syndrome. Trust me when I say you can induce puberty at any time, but it'll be most effective if you have a blank hormonal slate to work with. The best part here is: totally reversible, and is a step forward for the kiddo, so they probably won't feel like they're totally unsupported.
3. If you get them the puberty blockers early enough, the stress about surgery at 16 or whatever goes away because they don't grow the parts of them they'll end up wanting removed.

An interesting sidebar: Puberty blockers early enough would remove the inherent physical differences between boys and girls from a sport perspective. The trick here is making the environment safe enough for kids to come out when they know, not when they feel like coming out is the only thing to keep them alive.

In an ideal world, your kid would tell you when they figured it out. That's usually pretty early, like before 12 years. That gives supportive parents (remember this is an ideal world) the opportunity to get their kid on the medicine they need: puberty blockers, then the correct hormones, then any required surgeries in tandem with the hormone therapy. All this would be easy to access and affordable, because it's an ideal world. These actions are expressions of love and support to the child, and as they go through the correct puberty at roughly the correct time, their life will be in the long run minimally affected.

Being transgender is not a choice; it cannot be morally wrong.

It isn't a malady of the mind, it is an incongruity of the body.

The reason we're in this mess, the reason transness is associated with mental illness and suicide, and with weird, half-feral aggression is because the world isn't just "not ideal"; it is actively, openly, and proudly hostile. Trans people grow up with trauma: the trauma of having to hide, or being visible and targeted, of wondering if you are legal, wondering which one among the people you're around at the cafeteria will decide to become a legend and try to kill you, of wondering if anyone in that crowd of people will stop that person, of hearing your people loudly and actively mocked and called pathetic or crazy or ugly. Trauma does bad things to people, gives them paranoia, gives them ticks and bad coping mechanisms, gives them the feeling that, if everyone thinks they're a mistake doomed to die, then why not live up to that.

And the closer to home that trauma comes from, the more intense it is. The World hating you is one thing; your sibling or parent questioning something so fundamental about you? That's honestly ten times worse to hear.

I don't have a good ending to this rant; I just wish there were more compassion for my people, especially from people I otherwise respect and like. I left this forum as an angry baby-trans, and I come back as a trans elder; I'm glad I'm back, but I wish it wasn't because of this thread.

--BC

Wow, a very sincere thank you for sharing your journey.

I was just thinking about you, there is so much good scifi out these days.

 

[YamTastic]

Wow, a very sincere thank you for sharing your journey.

It wasn't easy! I salted the earth hard on my way out the door, to the point where I had to use a VPN and proxy e-mail address to even get a new account going!

I was just thinking about you, there is so much good scifi out these days.

Right?! I had no intentions at all of watching Kenobi, but damn if I wasn't tearing up by the end of the trailer.
Also, Strange New Worlds looks fucking amazing yo!

 

[SlyPokerDog]

It wasn't easy! I salted the earth hard on my way out the door, to the point where I had to use a VPN and proxy e-mail address to even get a new account going!



Right?! I had no intentions at all of watching Kenobi, but damn if I wasn't tearing up by the end of the trailer.
Also, Strange New Worlds looks fucking amazing yo!

The Strange New Worlds cast on Discovery a few seasons back was soooooo fucking awesome! I'm so happy they got their own show. The new season of Picard is really different but I like it. You hear HBO might make a reboot of Babylon 5?

 

[Orion Bailey]

I remember when I came out as trans to Orion Bailey at a Blazers game he'd invited me to. He was really gracious, and the entire thing was extremely low-stress, especially since I was scared out of my wits being trans in public, let alone at a sports event. Near the end he mentioned that I didn't need to go any further with my transition. I'm sure it was meant as a sort of "you're fine as you are" comment, but I remember feeling a little sad that the support was all weighted in the "stay the way you are" side, and not on the "keep going" side.

So much of cis people's opinions of trans people center around cis comfort and cis convenience. Being trans is, in a lot of people's eyes (including my own in the decades before I came out to myself) intensely transgressive. It takes a lot of effort to wrap your brain around, and even more to accept that someone else can, and should, lead their life their way without your comfort in mind. So much of my early days post-transition were spent kind of raging against people who centered their comfort level in their arguments about me and people like me.

I've finally calmed down about that, thank god. It took seven years, but I finally feel like I'm confident enough in myself that I don't really get heated about that junk anymore.

It's really tough on newly out trans people, having to answer a bunch of questions and concerns from people who need you to comfort them in some way, to reassure them that they aren't the enemy to you, or to let them know you're one of the good ones so they can exist beside you without feeling scared of some repercussions for saying something ignorant. Newly out trans people usually have nobody supporting them no-questions-asked, and everybody questioning them. Naturally they get defensive, aggressive, and use bravado and anger to push through the crowd and find their people, the people who will actually support them without questioning them.

It takes years. It is not easy. Not all of us make it.

But a damn sight more of us make it after that process begins, than before when even entertaining the thought of coming out is somehow more difficult than just killing yourself instead, either slowly through nihilistic behavior, or all at once. A lot of us don't make it to the point where we come out, because the world is making it known that they don't want the path to be easy for us.

The solutions to a lot of the "issues" here come down to consent, confidence, and timing.

1. If your child tells you they're trans, believe them. It's fucking scary for you, and 10x scarier for them. What they need most is a no-questions-asked supporter. Gotta get that attempted suicide rate down.
2. Puberty blockers are safe, and have been used for decades on kids with precocious puberty syndrome. Trust me when I say you can induce puberty at any time, but it'll be most effective if you have a blank hormonal slate to work with. The best part here is: totally reversible, and is a step forward for the kiddo, so they probably won't feel like they're totally unsupported.
3. If you get them the puberty blockers early enough, the stress about surgery at 16 or whatever goes away because they don't grow the parts of them they'll end up wanting removed.

An interesting sidebar: Puberty blockers early enough would remove the inherent physical differences between boys and girls from a sport perspective. The trick here is making the environment safe enough for kids to come out when they know, not when they feel like coming out is the only thing to keep them alive.

In an ideal world, your kid would tell you when they figured it out. That's usually pretty early, like before 12 years. That gives supportive parents (remember this is an ideal world) the opportunity to get their kid on the medicine they need: puberty blockers, then the correct hormones, then any required surgeries in tandem with the hormone therapy. All this would be easy to access and affordable, because it's an ideal world. These actions are expressions of love and support to the child, and as they go through the correct puberty at roughly the correct time, their life will be in the long run minimally affected.

Being transgender is not a choice; it cannot be morally wrong.

It isn't a malady of the mind, it is an incongruity of the body.

The reason we're in this mess, the reason transness is associated with mental illness and suicide, and with weird, half-feral aggression is because the world isn't just "not ideal"; it is actively, openly, and proudly hostile. Trans people grow up with trauma: the trauma of having to hide, or being visible and targeted, of wondering if you are legal, wondering which one among the people you're around at the cafeteria will decide to become a legend and try to kill you, of wondering if anyone in that crowd of people will stop that person, of hearing your people loudly and actively mocked and called pathetic or crazy or ugly. Trauma does bad things to people, gives them paranoia, gives them ticks and bad coping mechanisms, gives them the feeling that, if everyone thinks they're a mistake doomed to die, then why not live up to that.

And the closer to home that trauma comes from, the more intense it is. The World hating you is one thing; your sibling or parent questioning something so fundamental about you? That's honestly ten times worse to hear.

I don't have a good ending to this rant; I just wish there were more compassion for my people, especially from people I otherwise respect and like. I left this forum as an angry baby-trans, and I come back as a trans elder; I'm glad I'm back, but I wish it wasn't because of this thread.

--BC

BC!
Welcome back!


Just to clarify, when i said you dont need to go any further, i meant you Are fine as you are, i meant that as be who you are. Not who others want you to be.
You have to be happy with yourself. You dont need to change for anyone but yourself. Im sorry if that came across as anything other than support for you being you
I meant it as you are fine as you aRe on the inside. Be who you are. Dont conform to what others want you to be.
I hope that explains a bit better.

id enjoy another game with you anytime.

 

[ABM]

I remember when I came out as trans to Orion Bailey at a Blazers game he'd invited me to. He was really gracious, and the entire thing was extremely low-stress, especially since I was scared out of my wits being trans in public, let alone at a sports event. Near the end he mentioned that I didn't need to go any further with my transition. I'm sure it was meant as a sort of "you're fine as you are" comment, but I remember feeling a little sad that the support was all weighted in the "stay the way you are" side, and not on the "keep going" side.

So much of cis people's opinions of trans people center around cis comfort and cis convenience. Being trans is, in a lot of people's eyes (including my own in the decades before I came out to myself) intensely transgressive. It takes a lot of effort to wrap your brain around, and even more to accept that someone else can, and should, lead their life their way without your comfort in mind. So much of my early days post-transition were spent kind of raging against people who centered their comfort level in their arguments about me and people like me.

I've finally calmed down about that, thank god. It took seven years, but I finally feel like I'm confident enough in myself that I don't really get heated about that junk anymore.

It's really tough on newly out trans people, having to answer a bunch of questions and concerns from people who need you to comfort them in some way, to reassure them that they aren't the enemy to you, or to let them know you're one of the good ones so they can exist beside you without feeling scared of some repercussions for saying something ignorant. Newly out trans people usually have nobody supporting them no-questions-asked, and everybody questioning them. Naturally they get defensive, aggressive, and use bravado and anger to push through the crowd and find their people, the people who will actually support them without questioning them.

It takes years. It is not easy. Not all of us make it.

But a damn sight more of us make it after that process begins, than before when even entertaining the thought of coming out is somehow more difficult than just killing yourself instead, either slowly through nihilistic behavior, or all at once. A lot of us don't make it to the point where we come out, because the world is making it known that they don't want the path to be easy for us.

The solutions to a lot of the "issues" here come down to consent, confidence, and timing.

1. If your child tells you they're trans, believe them. It's fucking scary for you, and 10x scarier for them. What they need most is a no-questions-asked supporter. Gotta get that attempted suicide rate down.
2. Puberty blockers are safe, and have been used for decades on kids with precocious puberty syndrome. Trust me when I say you can induce puberty at any time, but it'll be most effective if you have a blank hormonal slate to work with. The best part here is: totally reversible, and is a step forward for the kiddo, so they probably won't feel like they're totally unsupported.
3. If you get them the puberty blockers early enough, the stress about surgery at 16 or whatever goes away because they don't grow the parts of them they'll end up wanting removed.

An interesting sidebar: Puberty blockers early enough would remove the inherent physical differences between boys and girls from a sport perspective. The trick here is making the environment safe enough for kids to come out when they know, not when they feel like coming out is the only thing to keep them alive.

In an ideal world, your kid would tell you when they figured it out. That's usually pretty early, like before 12 years. That gives supportive parents (remember this is an ideal world) the opportunity to get their kid on the medicine they need: puberty blockers, then the correct hormones, then any required surgeries in tandem with the hormone therapy. All this would be easy to access and affordable, because it's an ideal world. These actions are expressions of love and support to the child, and as they go through the correct puberty at roughly the correct time, their life will be in the long run minimally affected.

Being transgender is not a choice; it cannot be morally wrong.

It isn't a malady of the mind, it is an incongruity of the body.

The reason we're in this mess, the reason transness is associated with mental illness and suicide, and with weird, half-feral aggression is because the world isn't just "not ideal"; it is actively, openly, and proudly hostile. Trans people grow up with trauma: the trauma of having to hide, or being visible and targeted, of wondering if you are legal, wondering which one among the people you're around at the cafeteria will decide to become a legend and try to kill you, of wondering if anyone in that crowd of people will stop that person, of hearing your people loudly and actively mocked and called pathetic or crazy or ugly. Trauma does bad things to people, gives them paranoia, gives them ticks and bad coping mechanisms, gives them the feeling that, if everyone thinks they're a mistake doomed to die, then why not live up to that.

And the closer to home that trauma comes from, the more intense it is. The World hating you is one thing; your sibling or parent questioning something so fundamental about you? That's honestly ten times worse to hear.

I don't have a good ending to this rant; I just wish there were more compassion for my people, especially from people I otherwise respect and like. I left this forum as an angry baby-trans, and I come back as a trans elder; I'm glad I'm back, but I wish it wasn't because of this thread.

--BC

BC, You have an amazing story (journey) and so well written. Thank you for sharing! You've most likely scanned through a number of topics in this thread. I've shared a number of situations - even personal ones - that has caused some uprising. While I still have questions and am very open to garnering more understanding, acceptance, compassion, and the like, it's still all new to me. Please bear with me, and work with me (at least) as we wend our way through this. Again, thank you for being so transparent. Really opened my eyes to some stark realities going on on the inside. I can only imagine what my 16-year-old nephew is going through. Your brave words provided some insights.

In Florida, the House passed HB 1557 which effectively states that LGBTQ matters are to be left out of school teaching ages K-3rd Grade. How do you feel about that? I, personally, agree with that particular bill. At that very young age, I feel the best and safest place to unravel it all is in the home. I mean, right? If that's not doable, then I feel there needs to be a mechanism for private counseling, and open for the child to request such. I admit, it's all so complex for me and I've been out of the child-rearing business for over 20 years. So, heck, what do I know. LOL

Anyway, your comments were refreshing to me, and I hope to have continual dialog, understanding, and unity. Thanks for coming back!

Tim

 

[Orion Bailey]

It wasn't easy! I salted the earth hard on my way out the door, to the point where I had to use a VPN and proxy e-mail address to even get a new account going!



Right?! I had no intentions at all of watching Kenobi, but damn if I wasn't tearing up by the end of the trailer.
Also, Strange New Worlds looks fucking amazing yo!

ive also been thinking about you as im wrapping up my album(finally)

invitation still stands if you'd ever like to come out and have some musical fun. Studio is vastly improved since we last talked.

Also, since you left,( we both know how that went) i have since become an independent and not a registered republican.
Not trying to bring politics into this and bringing this up hopefully light heartedly, but i figured you would approve.
Anyhow ive long thought of your departure here and how it went. Im glad you aRe back.
You have great insight on things and your opinions matter around here.

 

[crandc]

Thanks so much for sharing, BC. You can imagine how laws like Florida's don't say gay will further stigmatize our community as something that can't even be spoken about, let alone exist. We need voices like yours.

 

[Orion Bailey]

@ABM

As I have told you before, you were the one who showed me that an online anonymous internet forum can in fact become a community that exists and meets outside of the confines of cyberspace. That collectively by coming together we can actually enhance or expand the reasons we post on an internet forum. You, through your actions and examples, showed me what could be.

For that I thank you.

Now within this community of rabid Trail Blazer fans, we have members who also reflect or represent members of other communities.

Sadly there are a few communities/demographics that are, IMO, underrepresented here. Some of these are people of color, women, and the LBGQ+ communities. Fortunately, we have one person who openly, passionately, and intelligently represents two of these communities. @crandc brings a voice and perspective to this community that is greatly needed. That without it there would be a noticeable perspective and input that was missing.

Interestingly enough, these three areas, in looking at what you like to post about, are the same three communities of people that are minimally represented here, people of color, women, and the LBGQ+.

You have not been prevented from posting your opinions on these 3 communities and your support of people, politicians, and laws that regulate and control these communities.

Multiple threads, multiple posts, and multiple justifications and why these communities don’t deserve the same voice and standing that you have.

And again, you have been freely allowed to express these views.

But when your primary focus here is to post about these communities and to post in support of laws and people who want to regulate these communities it’s pretty clear that you do not support them. You justify these views and actions by your personal religious beliefs and that your religious beliefs are what influence your political beliefs.

And you have been freely allowed to share these views.

But ABM, when you continually post negatively and argumentatively about these communities you have to own that people are going to assume you do not like these communities. When people ask you to just simply read, listen, or watch something that goes against your views and opinions about these communities and you flatly refuse to, people are going to assume you do not like these communities.

Now, onto your complaints about what Crandc said and I liked.

You have said multiple times she called you a racist.

She did not.

You have said multiple times I liked the post where she called you a racist.

I did not.

You have said multiple times that she said you hate trans and people of the LBGQ+ communities.

She did not.

You have said multiple times that I liked a post where she said you hate trans and people of the LBGQ+ communities.

I did not.

You have said that gay people should not be allowed to get married.

You have shown support for people and laws that support limiting the rights of the LBGQ+ community.

The only person who has labeled you a racist is you.

this is why im against deleting of any posts. You cant prove anything in this post because posts get deleted. So no record so now you can say nothing was saod when it may inded have been.
But then there is also the passive aggressive attack.
Yea ive seen it.
Abm posts something and someone else posts without quoting, but in context, how if someone thinks like that, they are racist or a woman hater, etc.

You cant say thst hasn't happened because ive sen it happen and have had it happen to me in similar situations.
When mods delete posts they then have no ground to stand on when they try to say someone did or did not say something. The foundation is flawed from the get go. You continue to support these types of posts by acting as though they don't happen.

The only one you are fooling is yourself. many of us see the bigger picture of whats going on and how some skate the personal insult rules and its supoorted.

“Anyone who thinks like that can just fuck off. “

“Anyone who voted for Trump is a racist supporter. “

we know each others party affiliation so the common one is to call out republicans because they cant call out ABM directly. But everyone knows the post is referring to ABM and not republicans.

Big games being played supported and encouraged by you.

Very uncool.

 

[Chris Craig]

I remember when I came out as trans to Orion Bailey at a Blazers game he'd invited me to. He was really gracious, and the entire thing was extremely low-stress, especially since I was scared out of my wits being trans in public, let alone at a sports event. Near the end he mentioned that I didn't need to go any further with my transition. I'm sure it was meant as a sort of "you're fine as you are" comment, but I remember feeling a little sad that the support was all weighted in the "stay the way you are" side, and not on the "keep going" side.

So much of cis people's opinions of trans people center around cis comfort and cis convenience. Being trans is, in a lot of people's eyes (including my own in the decades before I came out to myself) intensely transgressive. It takes a lot of effort to wrap your brain around, and even more to accept that someone else can, and should, lead their life their way without your comfort in mind. So much of my early days post-transition were spent kind of raging against people who centered their comfort level in their arguments about me and people like me.

I've finally calmed down about that, thank god. It took seven years, but I finally feel like I'm confident enough in myself that I don't really get heated about that junk anymore.

It's really tough on newly out trans people, having to answer a bunch of questions and concerns from people who need you to comfort them in some way, to reassure them that they aren't the enemy to you, or to let them know you're one of the good ones so they can exist beside you without feeling scared of some repercussions for saying something ignorant. Newly out trans people usually have nobody supporting them no-questions-asked, and everybody questioning them. Naturally they get defensive, aggressive, and use bravado and anger to push through the crowd and find their people, the people who will actually support them without questioning them.

It takes years. It is not easy. Not all of us make it.

But a damn sight more of us make it after that process begins, than before when even entertaining the thought of coming out is somehow more difficult than just killing yourself instead, either slowly through nihilistic behavior, or all at once. A lot of us don't make it to the point where we come out, because the world is making it known that they don't want the path to be easy for us.

The solutions to a lot of the "issues" here come down to consent, confidence, and timing.

1. If your child tells you they're trans, believe them. It's fucking scary for you, and 10x scarier for them. What they need most is a no-questions-asked supporter. Gotta get that attempted suicide rate down.
2. Puberty blockers are safe, and have been used for decades on kids with precocious puberty syndrome. Trust me when I say you can induce puberty at any time, but it'll be most effective if you have a blank hormonal slate to work with. The best part here is: totally reversible, and is a step forward for the kiddo, so they probably won't feel like they're totally unsupported.
3. If you get them the puberty blockers early enough, the stress about surgery at 16 or whatever goes away because they don't grow the parts of them they'll end up wanting removed.

An interesting sidebar: Puberty blockers early enough would remove the inherent physical differences between boys and girls from a sport perspective. The trick here is making the environment safe enough for kids to come out when they know, not when they feel like coming out is the only thing to keep them alive.

In an ideal world, your kid would tell you when they figured it out. That's usually pretty early, like before 12 years. That gives supportive parents (remember this is an ideal world) the opportunity to get their kid on the medicine they need: puberty blockers, then the correct hormones, then any required surgeries in tandem with the hormone therapy. All this would be easy to access and affordable, because it's an ideal world. These actions are expressions of love and support to the child, and as they go through the correct puberty at roughly the correct time, their life will be in the long run minimally affected.

Being transgender is not a choice; it cannot be morally wrong.

It isn't a malady of the mind, it is an incongruity of the body.

The reason we're in this mess, the reason transness is associated with mental illness and suicide, and with weird, half-feral aggression is because the world isn't just "not ideal"; it is actively, openly, and proudly hostile. Trans people grow up with trauma: the trauma of having to hide, or being visible and targeted, of wondering if you are legal, wondering which one among the people you're around at the cafeteria will decide to become a legend and try to kill you, of wondering if anyone in that crowd of people will stop that person, of hearing your people loudly and actively mocked and called pathetic or crazy or ugly. Trauma does bad things to people, gives them paranoia, gives them ticks and bad coping mechanisms, gives them the feeling that, if everyone thinks they're a mistake doomed to die, then why not live up to that.

And the closer to home that trauma comes from, the more intense it is. The World hating you is one thing; your sibling or parent questioning something so fundamental about you? That's honestly ten times worse to hear.

I don't have a good ending to this rant; I just wish there were more compassion for my people, especially from people I otherwise respect and like. I left this forum as an angry baby-trans, and I come back as a trans elder; I'm glad I'm back, but I wish it wasn't because of this thread.

--BC

Welcome back BC! Thank you for sharing that with us. It's very inspiring. You're very brave and have undergone a transformation in more ways the one. So powerful. Keep letting your voice be heard.

 

[Phatguysrule]

I don't see every one of your posts. Many times you don't quote me, so I don't get a notification. Sin entered this world via Adam & Eve. God allowed complete Old Testament atrocities. Many I have no answers for. Despite all that, Jesus was born and He is the model. Through His Grace, and His Grace alone, we are saved. I believe it, I've received it, and it's a done deal.

Me too. My friends and I were at the park playing football when I was a teenager and some religious people came by and told us if we repeated after them we were guaranteed to go to heaven.
I don't remember what they had us say, but...
Matthew 18:18

Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

BOOM! I am above the law...

 

[ABM]

Me too. My friends and I were at the park playing football when I was a teenager and some religious people came by and told us if we repeated after them we were guaranteed to go to heaven.
I don't remember what they had us say, but...
Matthew 18:18


BOOM! I am above the law...

Hope you have good fire insurance.

 

[crandc]

Many justifications for slavery in Christian bible.

To the point. A young student comes to class and says an older relative or friend got married. No one discusses sexual details, at least preteens usually don't. Student says wedding was fun or maybe not. A girl might describe bride's dress.
Under Florida law, if it was a same sex couple, student has committed a crime for talking about it. Teacher has committed a crime for allowing student to mention it.
Which is the point.
Under various state don't make white people uncomfortable laws, teachers report they have cut lessons on slavery and civil rights movement and on Nazi Holocaust.
Point of don't make white people uncomfortable laws and don't say gay laws the same. To erase us.

 

[Phatguysrule]

Hope you have good fire insurance.

It's in the Bible. We're GOOD!

 

[ABM]

It's in the Bible. We're GOOD!

So long as you remember this:

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. ~John 14:6