Funny Manly stuff you do?

[CupWizier]

I fart in elevators and then turn and tell anyone in the elevator it was me without smiling or blushing.

 

[Lanny]

No such thing.

Either you were born in America, in which case you're 100% Native American, or you're foreign born.

Here's Webster's definition:
"Native American definition is - a member of any of the indigenous peoples of the western hemisphere; especially : a Native American of North America and especially the U.S.."
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Native American

 

[Lanny]

No such thing.

Either you were born in America, in which case you're 100% Native American, or you're foreign born.

I was born in this country but according to marzy I'm not a citizen under the Constitution as he interprets it.

 

[Propagandist]

Every single day I hug and kiss my wife of 42 years. I actually have known her for 49 years. We share experiences together like going to the Billy Joel concert in MSG NY this last weekend. View attachment 22607

Billy Joel looking like Max Headroom.

 

[Propagandist]

Don't put cream or sugar in my coffee.

Same. And I drink espresso daily.

 

[Chris Craig]

Every single day I hug and kiss my wife of 42 years. I actually have known her for 49 years. We share experiences together like going to the Billy Joel concert in MSG NY this last weekend. View attachment 22607

You'll live longer. Men who kiss their wife every day live longer.

 

[Lanny]

You'll live longer. Men who kiss their wife every day live longer.

That means I'm in for a long long life.

 

[Propagandist]

You'll live longer. Men who kiss their wife every day live longer.

At this point, I'd take one "kiss" a month, shit.

 

[jlprk]

I post daily on a rough tough message board, damn it. Everyone runs when they read my posts.

 

[Lanny]

I post daily on a rough tough message board, damn it. Everyone runs when they read my posts.

Damn straight. You scare the shit out of me.

 

[Lanny]

Just call me big John.

A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender.

The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place.

He tells the timid man, "If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills!! He's the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived!!"

A few weeks pass uneventfully. But one afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, "Big John is coming to town!! Run for your lives!!!"

When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he's knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town.

As he's picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks he just got off from a grizzly bear he was riding while whipping it with two live large rattle snakes.

He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, "I want a beer NOW!!" He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, splitting it in half. The bartender nervously hands the big man a beer, hands shaking. He takes the beer, rips the top of the bottle off with his teeth, and downs the beer in one gulp.

As the poor timid bartender cowers behind the bar, the big man gets up to leave. "Do you want another beer?" the bartender calls out. "Dang it, I don't have time!!" the big man yells. "I gotta get out of town!!! Didn't ya hear Big John is a-comin??"

 

[PtldPlatypus]

Just call me big John.

A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender.

The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place.

He tells the timid man, "If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills!! He's the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived!!"

A few weeks pass uneventfully. But one afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, "Big John is coming to town!! Run for your lives!!!"

When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he's knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town.

As he's picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks he just got off from a grizzly bear he was riding while whipping it with two live large rattle snakes.

He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, "I want a beer NOW!!" He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, splitting it in half. The bartender nervously hands the big man a beer, hands shaking. He takes the beer, rips the top of the bottle off with his teeth, and downs the beer in one gulp.

As the poor timid bartender cowers behind the bar, the big man gets up to leave. "Do you want another beer?" the bartender calls out. "Dang it, I don't have time!!" the big man yells. "I gotta get out of town!!! Didn't ya hear Big John is a-comin??"

I didn't know Nurk could ride a bear.