Re: Stupid Random Thoughts- The Thread
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
-Dave Barry
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
-Dave Barry
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
-Humphrey Bogart
"People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot."
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'"
-Deep Thought, Jack Handy
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
-W.C. Fields
"The easiest way to spot a wanker in a pub is to look around and find who's drinking a Corona with a slice of lemon in the neck."
-Warwick Franks
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
-Ernest Hemmingway
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
-Dean Martin
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
-Frank Sinatra
"Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire."
-David Rains Wallace
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
-Henny Youngman
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
-Frank Zappa
