Just cause I look cute don't mean I ain't a fucking terror. Napoleon was a small dainty fellow, but took over half the world. Macaulay Culkin might look sweat but he has a fetish for hermaphroditic narwhals and throws HCL in the faces of centenarians. I look like a cuddle-bunny but I'll knife you for the second cupcake. So piss off you racist.
I am not a racist, you mental midget, if anything, you can call me speciest - which I am not, because elves are not even a species, you got Will Ferrel playing elves in movies for crying out loud, which pretty much proves my next point - You are not cute, nor cuddly, you are just a little insecure dwarf that tries to ignore his inner-self because of outside pressure (understandable when you live under a mountain and dig gold for a life).
Stop pretending, hit yourself on the head with some bread and start behaving like a proper dwarf.
Since you are GOD - I will now turn religious on your sorry dwarf ass and quote you some scriptures, as told from high above, possibly by yourself, to the prophet, Terry Pratchet:
"All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional." - Deal with it.
"All dwarfs are by nature dutiful, serious, literate, obedient and thoughtful people whose only minor failing is a tendency, after one drink, to rush at enemies screaming "Arrrrrrgh!" and axing their legs off at the knee." - that's nothing to be ashamed of.
"The one positive thing you could say about the bread products around him was that they were probably as edible now as they were on the day they were baked. *Forged* was a better term. Dwarf bread was made as a meal of last resort and also as a weapon and a currency. Dwarfs were not, as far as Vimes knew, religious in any way, but the way they thought about bread came close." - You are GOD and bread is your weapon!
"There was no such thing as a dwarfish female pronoun or, once the children were on solids, any such thing as women's work." - See, I am not even sexiest! (although, some have told me I am sexy, which is not, I believe, one and the same)
"Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because -- what with trolls and dwarfs and so on -- speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green." - My point, exactly.
. My pointed shoes are meant to stomp the crap out of fairies and I shave my elf beard with gasoline and a chainsaw. I kick santa in the balls and bang Ms. Clause in the backseat of the sleigh when Santa is sleeping (and I make rudolph watch). I punch children in the neck for sport. I am not light-hearted. 
