OT Parents

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Sorry to hear this Sly. I would just try to make her as comfortable as possible. Does she know about the pancreatic cancer?
 
oldfisherman said:
Horrible, horrible, horrible bad tidings. All of us share your pain.

How is your dad holding up?
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My dad is doing okay. Stunned. For 84 he's still sharp as a tack and still the smartest person I know. He's dealing in the moment and focusing on her but I'm worried about him. They just had their 60th wedding anniversary this past October.
 
Home from visiting at the hospital.

Yesterday when she woke up from the surgery she was talking.

Today she is very lethargic and has not spoken so they took her to CT to check for a stroke.

Hopefully with all the things she has going on her body is just keeping her in a deep sleep as it tries to recover from yesterday's surgery.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
Home from visiting at the hospital.

Yesterday when she woke up from the surgery she was talking.

Today she is very lethargic and has not spoken so they took her to CT to check for a stroke.

Hopefully with all the things she has going on her body is just keeping her in a deep sleep as it tries to recover from yesterday's surgery.
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Hope it comes back clear.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
No stroke but she still isn't fully awake and she has eaten since she's been in the hospital.
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Man, what a series of hits for you and your family to process. Sorry I didn’t comment earlier, but I’ve been staying out of the OT section during the holidays. You’ve got my deepest sympathies. It seems like we go through this life with long periods of things being “normal” and then, WHAM, our whole world is upended.

Losing a parent, when it’s been a loving relationship, is really devastating. We lost my dad a few years back to prostate cancer. My mom is dealing with dementia and living in a memory care facility. I picked her up to bring her to the family Christmas Eve party and had to lift her legs to get her in the car. I’m not sure whether losing my dad while he was still mentally sharp, or losing my mom bit by bit to memory loss, is more difficult to experience.

I hope you have some good time left with your mom. Best wishes to you and your family.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
My mom fell and broke her hip today. She was already starting to show signs of dementia so everything thing I'm reading about this is saying this is not going to end well.

It's weird but I'm kind of at peace with that. It's my dad that I'm worried about. He has been so devoted to her.

I'm just a mix of emotions right now.

Not sure why I'm even posting about this.

Heading back to the hospital.
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Oops. Sorry i only read your first post. So sorry about your mom. My dad died from pancreatic cancer.
I'm going to leave this recommendation up for anyone else who might know someone dealing with early dementia.
I'm going to recommend The End of Alzheimer's Program by Dale Bredesen. That's a book.
This guy is not a quack. It might be spendy to get diagnosed by his institute but they will figure out what type of dementia and lay out a program to stop decline and even reverse decline. Just reading the book, it's possible to figure out a lot and a person can get blood tests, possibly paid by medicare to figure out a lot more.
 
e_blazer said:
Man, what a series of hits for you and your family to process. Sorry I didn’t comment earlier, but I’ve been staying out of the OT section during the holidays. You’ve got my deepest sympathies. It seems like we go through this life with long periods of things being “normal” and then, WHAM, our whole world is upended.

Losing a parent, when it’s been a loving relationship, is really devastating. We lost my dad a few years back to prostate cancer. My mom is dealing with dementia and living in a memory care facility. I picked her up to bring her to the family Christmas Eve party and had to lift her legs to get her in the car. I’m not sure whether losing my dad while he was still mentally sharp, or losing my mom bit by bit to memory loss, is more difficult to experience.

I hope you have some good time left with your mom. Best wishes to you and your family.
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That's rough. I now understand what you're going through and went through with your parents.

Thank you for sharing.
 
UKRAINEFAN said:
Oops. Sorry i only read your first post. So sorry about your mom. My dad died from pancreatic cancer.
I'm going to leave this recommendation up for anyone else who might know someone dealing with early dementia.
I'm going to recommend The End of Alzheimer's Program by Dale Bredesen. That's a book.
This guy is not a quack. It might be spendy to get diagnosed by his institute but they will figure out what type of dementia and lay out a program to stop decline and even reverse decline. Just reading the book, it's possible to figure out a lot and a person can get blood tests, possibly paid by medicare to figure out a lot more.
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Sorry about your dad, and thank you for the book recommendation.
 
Massive stroke.

We've decided to stop all treatments and medications except for pain meds. Nutritional and hydration IVs stopped.

These decisions were made after discussions with her doctors based on their recommendations.

All of this happened so fast.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
Massive stroke.

We've decided to stop all treatments and medications except for pain meds. Nutritional and hydration IVs stopped.

These decisions were made after discussions with her doctors based on their recommendations.

All of this happened so fast.
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So sorry to hear this. For what it's worth, my sister had ALS. When she was near the end her husband called her hospice care team and they helped to ease her pain at the end.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
Massive stroke.

We've decided to stop all treatments and medications except for pain meds. Nutritional and hydration IVs stopped.

These decisions were made after discussions with her doctors based on their recommendations.

All of this happened so fast.
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I am so sorry. Please let us know if there is anything at all we can do.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
Massive stroke.

We've decided to stop all treatments and medications except for pain meds. Nutritional and hydration IVs stopped.

These decisions were made after discussions with her doctors based on their recommendations.

All of this happened so fast.
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Man, this is crazy. Feels like the only positive here might be limited suffering on her part, but that's cold comfort for the rest of you.
 
I'm sorry for your loss. A buddy of mine just had a similar experience and his grandfather passed only a couple of hours ago. Taking his family some food and flowers tomorrow. He was a good man. Wish I could do the same for yours.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
Massive stroke.

We've decided to stop all treatments and medications except for pain meds. Nutritional and hydration IVs stopped.

These decisions were made after discussions with her doctors based on their recommendations.

All of this happened so fast.
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Man, Sly, that’s awful. You and your father must be in shock. I’m so sorry.
 
So very, very sorry John. As hard as this is for you, just know that we got you. Be there for your dad. Keep him occupied when you can, and give him his space when he needs it. As rough as this is on you, his world is being rocked in a whole different way. As much as you are hurting, he comes first. Use your grief to help ease his. Be there for him and we'll be here for you. God bless you, both your parents and your entire family. Please reach out if there is anything we can do.
 
I've been pretty introverted throughout this. Just trying to be strong for my dad and give him the strength and support he needs to face this and make some very hard decisions. But this morning I got up to fix coffee for Mrs PokerDog and myself. Since we were going to the hospital soon I decided to fix 6 cups instead of 8. Ground the beans for 6 but in my just waking up fog I poured in 8 cups of water instead of 6.

And that's when I just lost it, my parents have been married for 60 years. My dad is going to make 1000s of little mistakes now. Fixing coffee for 2 people instead of 1, pulling out 2 dinner plates instead of 1, just so many little things you do when you've built a life with someone for so many years. I can help my dad with so much but I can't help him with that and that just crushes me.

Sorry, I just needed to vent, have to get that out of my head before I get my game face on and go to the hospital.

And thank you all for your kind words and for allowing me to vent.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
I've been pretty introverted throughout this. Just trying to be strong for my dad and give him the strength and support he needs to face this and make some very hard decisions. But this morning I got up to fix coffee for Mrs PokerDog and myself. Since we were going to the hospital soon I decided to fix 6 cups instead of 8. Ground the beans for 6 but in my just waking up fog I poured in 8 cups of water instead of 6.

And that's when I just lost it, my parents have been married for 60 years. My dad is going to make 1000s of little mistakes now. Fixing coffee for 2 people instead of 1, pulling out 2 dinner plates instead of 1, just so many little things you do when you've built a life with someone for so many years. I can help my dad with so much but I can't help him with that and that just crushes me.

Sorry, I just needed to vent, have to get that out of my head before I get my game face on and go to the hospital.

And thank you all for your kind words and for allowing me to vent.
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You probably are already aware of this but.....if your mom had a pet, be sure to make time for it also. When my mom died, her dog went to the closet, pulled all her clothes off the hangers and made a nesting place he did not want to leave. It really ripped my Dad a new one, but that dog helped my dad get through it that time......and vice versa. Having said all that, I know you would be the last one to forget about a pet..........
 
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