Allright, I need to get something off my chest, and I don't feel like making a new thread, so I'll just vent on here.
 
I had never been that much of a religous person growing up, but whenever I went through tribulations, I always prayed to God and what not. Oddly enough, the first time I went through serious adversity, I stopped praying to God and I eventually got past whatever I was facing. 
 
However, other adversities eventually came into play soon after, and it made me feel as if not believing in God was the reason. I started 'praying' again, regardless of the fact that I was merely doing it for selfish reasons. However, my adversities did not really go away. In fact, they got even worse no matter how much I prayed. At this point, I have a lot of health issues that I do need to adress, but it always seems as if I can never find a complete solution, just a bunch of trial and error sequences. Basically, I'm at the point now where I'm conflicted. On one hand, I would like to be able to pray to God, and listen to my mom when she says that if I start praying, my health concerns will go away or be under control. On the other hand, I feel that even if there were to be a God, it is unfair of me to simply pray on and off whenever I wish for merely selfish reasons.
 
I don't like praying for selfish reasons, but isn't that what everyone pretty much prays for? If you pray all of sudden after you stopped 'believing', but you still go through the same adversities regardless of if you pray or not, does that mean that you praying is useless since you need to be an avid believer in God at all times for your prayers to come true?
 
I don't want to start any religion/belief wars (I can see this leading to a NTC vs. Umair clash already 
), but I don't know man, it always seems like I'm not doing the right thing by not really being religious.
 
By religious, I don't mean hardcore-pray-from-dusk-to-dawn religious, I mean even just doing a short little prayer when you sleep, get up, and looking at Gods (my parents are hindu) and acknowleding the meaning behind them.
 
In the past, being religious hasn't really made a difference, but in the past, I've only prayed for myself. And sometimes it's this selfishness that makes me feel as if it's the reason that I constantly have to overcome obstacles in life.
 
Anyway, that's my religion rant. I don't see myself being religious anytime soon, but I'm surrounded by religion quite often outside from my normal social circle (my community is pretty religious) so at times, it feels as if not being religious results in the obstacles that I face. Allright, that's enough writing.
 
I don't think that made any sense at all, and I just felt like venting. If you managed to read all that, I applaud you because it seems like something that's just confusing.