OT RIP Tyler Hilinski

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SlyPokerDog

SlyPokerDog

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I'm just stunned right now. He shot himself. WTF?!?
 
Sorry man, but I don’t know who this is. Should I?
 
That's crazy. Guys like that don't usually commit suicide.
 
Natebishop3 said:
That's crazy. Guys like that don't usually commit suicide.
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Hard to say without knowing if he was battling depression, and if so, for how long. I remember him in the WSU -Boise State game in September. He looked really good. But of course football is not the reason that it is horrific news.
Very sad.
 
Pinwheel1 said:
Hard to say without knowing if he was battling depression, and if so, for how long. I remember him in the WSU -Boise State game in September. He looked really good. But of course football is not the reason that it is horrific news.
Very sad.
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Don't know if it's clinical or not, but you'd have to be depressed to commit suicide.

I use these instances as teaching moments for my son.
I want to reassure him that he is loved by so many people and he always has someone to talk to, but also to emphasize that suicide is selfish.

You end your life and you wreck the lives of the others who love you.
 
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My senior year of HS my girlfriend that I had split up with over xmas break, killed herself on spring break. Out of nowhere and caught everybody by surprise. Her parents had been going thru a divorce at the time as well. Because of going thru that experience, I never say R.I.P. to the people who kill themselves. I saw everybody freaking out and feeling sad for Robin Williams. All I think of when somebody does this are the REAL victims, the family and loved ones left behind. They are the ones that have to live with this pain and loss the rest of their lives. They are the ones who get fucked over by those who died.
All anybody is saying about this on twitter is how sad they are for him......shit! Imagine what his parents and family are dealing with.
 
HCP said:
Preach!
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I'm not in agreement with your assessment though. I was sad about Robin Williams. I'm sad about the WSU QB and I didn't even know who he was.

You are also being insensitive to the person who's actually dead and where they were in their lives that prompted them to think that death was better than life.

Choosing to die as a release from real life is a fucked up place to be. Ever contemplated suicide? I have. Not since my boy was born because he needs me. I'm sure there are other forum members who have too.

Don't belittle their struggle.
 
HCP, I am truly sorry you had such a terrible experience at a young age, but do think of how badly she must have been feeling.

Ken Griffey Jr. once publicly acknowledged he had attempted suicide, fortunately unsuccessful. A man who "had everything", family, talent, money, good looks, good reputation.
I remember reading in Patty Duke's autobiography about the times she would lock herself in the bathroom while her children were outside crying and begging her not to kill herself. Imagine the state this woman (very talented, wealthy, famous) must have been in.

You can't judge another's pain.

I once knew an abuser (well, actually, known more than one abuser but talking of one specifically) who, in retrospect, I realize was trying very hard to get me to kill myself. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on what you think of me or my cats, I am too fucking ornery, no matter how down, to give someone that satisfaction.
 
HCP said:
All anybody is saying about this on twitter is how sad they are for him......shit! Imagine what his parents and family are dealing with.
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This was my first thought as well.
 
dviss1 said:
I'm not in agreement with your assessment though. I was sad about Robin Williams. I'm sad about the WSU QB and I didn't even know who he was.

You are also being insensitive to the person who's actually dead and where they were in their lives that prompted them to think that death was better than life.

Choosing to die as a release from real life is a fucked up place to be. Ever contemplated suicide? I have. Not since my boy was born because he needs me. I'm sure there are other forum members who have too.

Don't belittle their struggle.
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You are sad for Robin Williams even though he left behind a wife and kids? What about them? They have to wake up every morning with this on THEM.
 
crandc said:
HCP, I am truly sorry you had such a terrible experience at a young age, but do think of how badly she must have been feeling.

Ken Griffey Jr. once publicly acknowledged he had attempted suicide, fortunately unsuccessful. A man who "had everything", family, talent, money, good looks, good reputation.
I remember reading in Patty Duke's autobiography about the times she would lock herself in the bathroom while her children were outside crying and begging her not to kill herself. Imagine the state this woman (very talented, wealthy, famous) must have been in.

You can't judge another's pain.

I once knew an abuser (well, actually, known more than one abuser but talking of one specifically) who, in retrospect, I realize was trying very hard to get me to kill myself. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on what you think of me or my cats, I am too fucking ornery, no matter how down, to give someone that satisfaction.
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Thanks for your kind words......I'm sorry, but they took the easy way out. Suicide is the epitome of selfishness in my opinion.
 
HCP said:
You are sad for Robin Williams even though he left behind a wife and kids? What about them? They have to wake up every morning with this on THEM.
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I'm sad for Robin Williams, and others like him, for the torment he must have gone through to lead him to do that. But his suffering is over. I'm more sad for his loved ones who were devastated by his actions. They are the ones who are still suffering, and will at some level for the rest of their lives.
 
HCP said:
You are sad for Robin Williams even though he left behind a wife and kids? What about them? They have to wake up every morning with this on THEM.
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Do you honestly think people who are sad for someone who commits suicide aren't also sad for his family? The two aren't mutually exclusive feelings.

I have a friend who was suicidal about 10 or so years ago and when he told me about it (that he had a suicide attempt) my first thoughts weren't "you selfish bastard", it was that things must be so difficult in his mind for him to contemplate such a thing. Not difficult like "oh man, how can I pay my credit card bill", but a mental illness that has wracked/taken over his mind so much that it clouded his judgement.

In his case, it was depression. He likened it to hearing two voices in his head (not actual voices). The good and the bad. It's just that the bad was at volume 10, all the time, and the good was fluctuating. It was the worst at night.

Thankfully, he sought the help he needed. But in the discussions he and I have had since then, it wasn't about him being selfish, it was that he didn't know how to handle what his mind was telling him. It was so dark, so painful for him, that he wasn't able to see through the fog.

I can understand why people say it's "selfish", but it's not that simple.
 
HCP said:
You are sad for Robin Williams even though he left behind a wife and kids? What about them? They have to wake up every morning with this on THEM.
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Being sad about Robin Williams and the pain he had to go through to make his choice does not discount the sadness I feel for his wife and kids. I feel sadness about the whole situation.

Sure suicide is the most selfish thing a human can do IMO. But being upset at the dead guy IMO is a waste of energy and counterproductive to preventing suicide.
 
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dviss1 said:
Being sad about Robin Williams and the pain he had to go through to make his choice does not discount the sadness I feel for his wife and kids. I feel sadness about the whole situation.

Sure suicide is the most selfish thing a human can do IMO. But being upset at the dead guy IMO is a waste of energy and counterproductive to preventing suicide.
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I admit that I don't understand suicidal tendencies very well at all. I've never been one who's suffered from depression or feelings of doubt about self-worth. For someone in my fortunate position, this kid deciding to take his own life, especially given his promising future, is perplexing and seems like a totally selfish thing for an individual to do. But I've been reading a bit about the suicidal mindset and it seems that there's a common thread of people who have attempted suicide having thoughts that by ending their life and their problems they will stop being a burden to others. I think that we should not rush to judge those who have been in such a dark place. Obviously, if their minds were working normally, very few would make the decision to kill themselves.
 
e_blazer said:
I admit that I don't understand suicidal tendencies very well at all. I've never been one who's suffered from depression or feelings of doubt about self-worth. For someone in my fortunate position, this kid deciding to take his own life, especially given his promising future, is perplexing and seems like a totally selfish thing for an individual to do. But I've been reading a bit about the suicidal mindset and it seems that there's a common thread of people who have attempted suicide having thoughts that by ending their life and their problems they will stop being a burden to others. I think that we should not rush to judge those who have been in such a dark place. Obviously, if their minds were working normally, very few would make the decision to kill themselves.
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I've been told that it's a lot like believing no one will miss them, it'll make their lives easier and they feel like they're a huge disappointment to their friends/family. And it's not like "well, they're not being nice to me so they'll regret it when I'm gone!" sorta thing. It's more that you don't feel you belong to anyone, or anywhere and that it's just not worth the effort anymore.

Some of it is obviously that they themselves are in pain (not emotional, but physical) too, but I think in most cases it's just the person at a point where they don't know what they can do anymore to feel "normal" or right.
 
Some posters in this thread show a significant lack of understanding of how depression works.

I can tell you for a fact, a suicidal person suffers significant mental anguish beyond what most people can understand. This is the best advice I give to anyone dealing with a suicidal person: Do not judge them when you don't even know what they are going through. It's a sickness and it needs to be treated as such with care and empathy.
 
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Hobbesarable said:
Some posters in this thread show a significant lack of understanding of how depression works.

I can tell you for a fact, a suicidal person suffers significant mental anguish beyond what most people can understand. This is the best advice I give to anyone dealing with a suicidal person: Do not sit there and judge them when you don't even know what they are going through. It's a sickness and it needs to be treated as such with care and empathy.
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Are you referring to anything I said? I don't claim to be an expert, just going on what my friend told me and what I've read (and the little bit of depression stages I've gone through in my life).


*I wasn't saying this with a defensive tone, just wondering if maybe I have it wrong
 
julius said:
Are you referring to anything I said? I don't claim to be an expert, just going on what my friend told me and what I've read (and the little bit of depression stages I've gone through in my life).


*I wasn't saying this with a defensive tone, just wondering if maybe I have it wrong
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No, I think you are curious and you are attempting to understand without judging a person who may be suicidal.
 
e_blazer said:
But I've been reading a bit about the suicidal mindset and it seems that there's a common thread of people who have attempted suicide having thoughts that by ending their life and their problems they will stop being a burden to others.
Click to expand...
I can vouch for this being a real thing. Being lonely is a thousand times worse when you convince yourself that reaching out for company is an imposition.
 
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