"Sick of the bar scene"

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BrianFromWA said:
The limited amount of times that I've been to an unfamiliar bar/club, I've found that at 30 and married I seem to be approached by many, many more women than when I was 25. :dunno:
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This gives me hope for my future. ;-)
 
I'm 29 and married. I still go out to the bars. Not sick of the bars, but starting to get tired of the "scene."

It's actually pretty fun to people-watch. I get a kick out of seeing all the dudes with spiky hair and $200+ designer jeans and the pressed button-down shirt or "cool vintage t-shirt." Just trying so hard and striking out with every chick.

There are two things almost every hot chick can smell a mile away. Desperation and Axe Body Spray. They usually go hand-in-hand, and neither are a good thing.

Just like maxie and Brian said ... I've been approached more since I've been married than when I was single. I swear there's something to the saying that it's easier to find when you aren't looking for it. I have no problem being the wingman for my single buddies. Something pretty unassuming and non-threatening about the married guy who isn't interested. Happy to play that role if it helps my buddies out.

-Pop
 
BTW, balanced man, I've been around the PUA boards a few years ago after reading "The Game". I found the most normal one to be www.sosuave.net . It gives good general life tips, etc.
 
SodaPopinski said:
It's actually pretty fun to people-watch. I get a kick out of seeing all the dudes with spiky hair and $200+ designer jeans and the pressed button-down shirt or "cool vintage t-shirt." Just trying so hard and striking out with every chick.
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[video=youtube;4JMOh-cul6M]
 
AgentDrazenPetrovic said:
BTW, balanced man, I've been around the PUA boards a few years ago after reading "The Game". I found the most normal one to be www.sosuave.net . It gives good general life tips, etc.
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Never heard of it. There are soooo many sites out there.

Since I don't have a job, maybe I should just try to become an approach coach :dunno:
 
BalancedMan said:
Never heard of it. There are soooo many sites out there.

Since I don't have a job, maybe I should just try to become an approach coach :dunno:
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yeah, some of the "lairs" are pretty rediculous. the approach coaches are lame...maybe they don't have them in Oregon....who knows. I think that "Ben Davis" Dude tried out for the Pickup Artist here.

the sosuave.net is pretty good, doesn't get all crazy with games, traps, DHVs and all that crap. its more of a holistic place to be a better man overall instead of pretending to be one.
 
AgentDrazenPetrovic said:
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The thing is that I know people like this for real. In fact one of the few people in my fraternity that I never really got along with was a guy like this. I don't know...we just didn't see eye to eye on more than a few things. But if that's who you really are...then I'm sorry for you ;-)
 
BalancedMan said:
The thing is that I know people like this for real. In fact one of the few people in my fraternity that I never really got along with was a guy like this. I don't know...we just didn't see eye to eye on more than a few things. But if that's who you really are...then I'm sorry for you ;-)
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its quite funny. I've been lately reading about the New Jersey Guidos...the fist pumpin', protein and jaeger boms. its really really funny shit.

http://nj-guido.com/
 
AgentDrazenPetrovic said:
yeah, some of the "lairs" are pretty rediculous. the approach coaches are lame...maybe they don't have them in Oregon....who knows. I think that "Ben Davis" Dude tried out for the Pickup Artist here.

the sosuave.net is pretty good, doesn't get all crazy with games, traps, DHVs and all that crap. its more of a holistic place to be a better man overall instead of pretending to be one.
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That's what all the sites now claim. "It's about building a life"....Hmm, well maybe. It comes, at it's core though, from wanting to feel loved, be popular and get some pussy. But it does depend on how you frame it yourself. It's easy to get caught in the "okay, now I have to neg" type of thinking, which is just wrong.

That being said, it's helpful to know how it works. For example, I went through and thought of some real "DHV" stories...not about how I saved a kitten from a burning building, but mentioning impressive things in a nonchalant way that doesn't come off as cocky or like I'm trying too hard.

I still won't do those indirect openers, games like the cube, and a lot of other stuff. But to be honest I find myself pretty decent at getting phone numbers at this point. If I don't get a phone number, I usually can think of where it went wrong. Granted not all phone numbers are good, but compared to where I used to be...let's just say that when I made out with a girl I just met in front of a bunch of hometown guys, they were all shocked and impressed.
 
how much do you value the phone numbers though? in my experience, many are flakey and you're better trying to hit them up later that night or right there than anything.

and the legit phone numbers...well, sometimes its not even worth taking the girl out and spending money on.

at least when you start getting older. College was the best for bars...then it goes downhill from there.
 
AgentDrazenPetrovic said:
how much do you value the phone numbers though? in my experience, many are flakey and you're better trying to hit them up later that night or right there than anything.

and the legit phone numbers...well, sometimes its not even worth taking the girl out and spending money on.

at least when you start getting older. College was the best for bars...then it goes downhill from there.
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I graduated like six months ago and I'm 23...so I hope that isn't the case for me. You're right, I've gotten a lot of flaky numbers in the past. It pisses me off, because I'll feel like I built up some attraction and then you'll call or text and never hear back. In reality though, I figure that I'll either run into the girl again (and then I can give her shit) or she probably wasn't worth it anyways. It's also frustrating when you simply don't get the number.

I can't say I'm operating on the level of 10's yet, but my confidence in approaching is there at least. Oh well...23 years old. I got a good decade before I have to settle down and have kids.
 
Other than to hear live music and smoke a good stogie with friends, bars serve no purpose in a civilized world.
 
AgentDrazenPetrovic said:
it goes by faster than you think.
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I know. I feel like a waste of human life. Since I graduated I've accomplished nothing. Looking for a job. That was back in Octoberish. Fuck my life. :ohno:

Seriously though, I'm in a rut and need to change it NOW.
 
dunno, i love getting absolutely hammered and going to bars....good times always follows. the problem is nowadays, i'm having to drive there to meet people there instead of riding together, and it sucks that i can't get properly toasted.
 
BalancedMan said:
I know. I feel like a waste of human life. Since I graduated I've accomplished nothing. Looking for a job. That was back in Octoberish. Fuck my life. :ohno:

Seriously though, I'm in a rut and need to change it NOW.
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been there, done that. All I did way back then was work out and read everyday. it was boring, but at least it was productive. i also went out a few nights per week but being on limited budget, i had to keep it cheap.

but time does fly really fucking fast. i was looking through my pictures on my computer, some were taken 10 years ago and it seems like yesterday. I've learned that life's too short to be average, you have to just go for it. fuck the world.
 
Nothing like a depressant to chase the blues away!
 
AgentDrazenPetrovic said:
going to see Fishbone on Friday! woot!
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One of the best shows I've ever seen was Crazy 8s opening for Fishbone at the old Pine Street Theatre. Fishbone told the 8s they could play as long as they wanted, so they did a 2 and a half hour set. Fishbone came on stage said "the gauntlet has been thrown" and then did a 3 hour fifteen minute set. The only thing that stopped them was that the Theatre had to close for the night.
 
maxiep said:
One of the best shows I've ever seen was Crazy 8s opening for Fishbone at the old Pine Street Theatre. Fishbone told the 8s they could play as long as they wanted, so they did a 2 and a half hour set. Fishbone came on stage said "the gauntlet has been thrown" and then did a 3 hour fifteen minute set. The only thing that stopped them was that the Theatre had to close for the night.
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Yeah, I've seen fishbone once before...it was at a Sublime Tribute concert and the main dude was crowd surfing while covering "Date Rape" by Sublime. It was unreal.
 
I'm not sick of the bar scene. I got married to my first gf and I've been divorced now for about three years. I am older than almost everyone I hang out with, and some of the girls that I've dated are ... young.

I look at it as me being in arrested development for 13 years. I'm just lucky that I look young enough to pass for 25-28, rather than as old as I am.

As far as getting numbers and such... it's pretty hit or miss. I can have a great conversation with a girl for a short period of time or the better part of the night, and she may or may not get back to me. A random number get with no conversation rarely seems to work out.

Giving your number to a girl is always more interesting. The success rate is lower in terms of them getting back to you, but when they do, you know that they're interested. I've got a date tonight from that angle. She asked for my number the Thursday before last, said she never gives her number out to guys who ask, but then didn't contact me. She works at a bar, and I razzed her last Thursday, and then the next day she txted me.

Having a girl give you her number is the most strange in my opinion. It's a huge ego boost but... I haven't been interested in any girls who've ever bothered to do it. Whether it's because of my shallowness (none of them have been hot enough) or something more deep (a woman that eager seems desperate) I'm not sure. I think the former, because if a hot chick gives me her number? I'm calling her a couple days later.

Finally, the bars themselves. I live within easy walking distance of about a half-dozen bars and it makes it cheaper... I can prefunk with buddies at my place and then walk to a bar and be on cruise control the rest of the night. Also, being black-out drunk (which has happened a couple of times to me, unfortunately) is less dangerous knowing I can stagger three blocks to my place.

Ed O.
 
With getting numbers it's tricky. For starters, if she wants your number forget it. I learned that the hard way with this girl (a real 10) who I never have seen since. But I was running tight game and it was GOOD.

Make sure you get her number AND that she has yours. Most girls don't pick up if they don't have the number in their cell phone, so when she gives you her number (or when you type yours into her phone) make sure to call her (or call yourself if you're typing it into her phone) so that way the number exchange is complete. I had a girl say "I never give out my number". I was ready to bail. Then she said "Give me your phone". She texted me THAT Night as she was leaving the bar. I called and texted a few times, but she never responded. Then again, I think she might have realized I was going home with another girl that night....eh. problems.

I don't trust numbers. Honestly, I feel pretty confident in getting numbers, but even if I get them I only expect 25%-33% to be good. Oh well. Move on and get the next number.

I've found that the fast I've moved with a girl (hook up on the first night) the shorter the relationship seems to last. If I meet a girl, talk a few times, and meet up a week or two later, those are the ones that develop into longer term deals. IDK, just something I've noticed.
 
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