OT Sly's house of random, 2020 edition

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The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta.

The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening; "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Alberta?" The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Alberta?"

The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Alberta."
 
SlyPokerDog said:
The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta.

The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening; "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Alberta?" The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Alberta?"

The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Alberta."
Click to expand...

Wait, the cow is the rabbi's wife?
 
Looks like there is another El PRESIDENTE...

upload_2020-9-25_20-44-6.png

A guy on Holey Moley went by the same moniker as @EL PRESIDENTE. At first before he came out I wondered if it might be our EL PRESIDENTE, but this guy is from Jersey

@EL PRESIDENTE do you have the copyright? Is this guy stealing your name?
 
Is 14-legged killer squid found TWO MILES beneath Antarctica being weaponised by Putin?
https://www.express.co.uk/news/weir...ganism-46-b-russian-army-secret-weapon-russia
A KILLER giant squid that can hypnotise its prey and paralyse humans at a distance of 150 feet using poisonous venom is being developed as a secret weapon by Vladimir Putin, a scientist has claimed.Dr Padalka said the squid, which was discovered in a fresh water lake trapped beneath two miles of ice, possessed an array of weapons and was responsible for the deaths of at least two of his scientific colleag
“We watched helplessly as it used its arms to tear off its head then popped its remains in its mouth. It was as if it had hypnotised him telepathically.”
The 33 foot-long man-eater also boasts extraordinary camouflage that helped it stalk the researchers - including shape-shifting.
Dr Padalka said: “The shapeshifting capabilities of organism 46-B sound almost diabolical. It shaped itself into the form of a human diver.
“We watched helplessly as it used its arms to tear off its head then popped its remains in its mouth. It was as if it had hypnotised him telepathically.”
We thought it was one of my colleagues swimming towards us in scuba gear. By the time the closest scientist has realised what it was it had grabbed him and torn him to bits.”
 
lawai'a said:
Is 14-legged killer squid found TWO MILES beneath Antarctica being weaponised by Putin?
https://www.express.co.uk/news/weir...ganism-46-b-russian-army-secret-weapon-russia
A KILLER giant squid that can hypnotise its prey and paralyse humans at a distance of 150 feet using poisonous venom is being developed as a secret weapon by Vladimir Putin, a scientist has claimed.Dr Padalka said the squid, which was discovered in a fresh water lake trapped beneath two miles of ice, possessed an array of weapons and was responsible for the deaths of at least two of his scientific colleag
“We watched helplessly as it used its arms to tear off its head then popped its remains in its mouth. It was as if it had hypnotised him telepathically.”
The 33 foot-long man-eater also boasts extraordinary camouflage that helped it stalk the researchers - including shape-shifting.
Dr Padalka said: “The shapeshifting capabilities of organism 46-B sound almost diabolical. It shaped itself into the form of a human diver.
“We watched helplessly as it used its arms to tear off its head then popped its remains in its mouth. It was as if it had hypnotised him telepathically.”
We thought it was one of my colleagues swimming towards us in scuba gear. By the time the closest scientist has realised what it was it had grabbed him and torn him to bits.”
Click to expand...

Wed, Nov 30, 2016
 
Chris Craig said:
Looks like there is another El PRESIDENTE...

View attachment 33699

A guy on Holey Moley went by the same moniker as @EL PRESIDENTE. At first before he came out I wondered if it might be our EL PRESIDENTE, but this guy is from Jersey

@EL PRESIDENTE do you have the copyright? Is this guy stealing your name?
Click to expand...
Knowing our EL PREZ, he’s probably paying that guy to rep for him......
 
ABM said:
Woman Swallowed by Manhole After Motorcycle Crash Rescued

Click to expand...


Holy hell she just slid right in. Where is that? I see the stop sign is in Spanish. Does the sidewalk corner just bend up like that there or did they break it?
 
karma's a bitch

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/na...0201001-q65ywdslhjd2vafivd5rkytrta-story.html
Coal tycoon who fought against federal black lung regulations files for federal black lung benefits
A West Virginia coal mining tycoon who once sued the Obama administration to weaken federal black lung and mining safety regulations has filed for black lung benefits with the Department of Labor.

According to West Virginia Public Broadcasting, Bob Murray, the former CEO and president of the now-bankrupt Murray Energy, filed the claim after the company’s bankruptcy because his health had deteriorated to the point he “could not handle the president and CEO job any longer.”

Murray, 80, also outlines his dependence on an oxygen tank and describes himself as “near death” in the claim

In the past Murray has denied that his health problems were related to his work in the coal industry
 
lawai'a said:
karma's a bitch

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/na...0201001-q65ywdslhjd2vafivd5rkytrta-story.html
Coal tycoon who fought against federal black lung regulations files for federal black lung benefits
A West Virginia coal mining tycoon who once sued the Obama administration to weaken federal black lung and mining safety regulations has filed for black lung benefits with the Department of Labor.

According to West Virginia Public Broadcasting, Bob Murray, the former CEO and president of the now-bankrupt Murray Energy, filed the claim after the company’s bankruptcy because his health had deteriorated to the point he “could not handle the president and CEO job any longer.”

Murray, 80, also outlines his dependence on an oxygen tank and describes himself as “near death” in the claim

In the past Murray has denied that his health problems were related to his work in the coal industry
Click to expand...

I hope it hurts like hell, Bob... you piece of shit!
 
lawai'a said:
karma's a bitch

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/na...0201001-q65ywdslhjd2vafivd5rkytrta-story.html
Coal tycoon who fought against federal black lung regulations files for federal black lung benefits
A West Virginia coal mining tycoon who once sued the Obama administration to weaken federal black lung and mining safety regulations has filed for black lung benefits with the Department of Labor.

According to West Virginia Public Broadcasting, Bob Murray, the former CEO and president of the now-bankrupt Murray Energy, filed the claim after the company’s bankruptcy because his health had deteriorated to the point he “could not handle the president and CEO job any longer.”

Murray, 80, also outlines his dependence on an oxygen tank and describes himself as “near death” in the claim

In the past Murray has denied that his health problems were related to his work in the coal industry
Click to expand...

Watch this!

 
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