OT Sly's house of random, 2020 edition

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Most of generation of 60+ were HOME SCHOOLED
in many ways .
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My father taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
1 8 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way"
19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My father taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up"
22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn24. My mother taught me WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
This should only be sent to the over 60 crowds because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents…
 
lawai'a said:
Most of generation of 60+ were HOME SCHOOLED
in many ways .
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My father taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
1 8 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way"
19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My father taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up"
22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn24. My mother taught me WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
This should only be sent to the over 60 crowds because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents…
Click to expand...

I am under 60 and I was told most if not all of those exact sentences by my parents
 
@barfo...

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UncleCliffy'sDaddy said:
As it does for “walk the plank”......
Click to expand...
Also, sheds new light on Popeye, whenever he'd say "blow me down" to Olive Oyl...maybe Olive was his "matey", and maybe it wasn't Olive Oyl, it was OliveR Oyl?
 
Finally some nuanced understanding of pirate life around here!

barfo
 
SlyPokerDog said:
jpvjwzr7mws51.jpg
Click to expand...

warning site pics likely NSFW!!!!!!
BACK WITH A BANG
Elite sex club Snctm planning Black Death-themed Halloween party after cancelling orgies amid coronavirus crisis
https://www.the-sun.com/news/1622903/elite-sex-club-snctm-black-death-halloween-orgy/

ELITE sex club Snctm is planning a bizarre Black Death-themed party after cancelling orgies amid the coronavirus crisis, say reports.

The secret society, once promoted by Gwyneth Paltrow on her Goop lifestyle website, will apparently host the raunchy bash over Halloween.
 
https://babylonbee.com/
just found this site. too funny. take a break and LOL. onionesque.
Trump Attempts To Catch Hunter Biden In Trap Labeled 'Free Crack'
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump is attempting to get to the bottom of what's going on with Hunter Biden and Ukraine. In order to catch Hunter Biden and turn him over to the authorities, the president put out a box propped up by a stick tied to a rope. The box was labeled "Free Crack" and contained a large quantity of crack cocaine underneath.

"Any second now," Trump muttered to himself as he waited in a nearby bush. "Here, Hunter, Hunter, Hunter. Here, boy. That's it, nice and slow. Fantastic crack cocaine over here -- extremely pure stuff. The best crack cocaine, maybe ever!"

Growing impatient, Trump resorted to more drastic measures. "What's this over here on the lawn!?" he shouted. "Wow! That looks like crack cocaine to me! Looks like fantastic stuff! Sure would be a shame if someone were to come along and pick it up!"

Sure enough, after a few minutes, Trump saw rustling in a nearby bush. Biden fell for the trap and dove for the crack cocaine. "Got him!" cried Trump as he pulled the string. Unfortunately, Biden was too quick and managed to smoke all the crack and roll out from under the box before Trump could catch him.

Trump was last seen attempting to bait another trap labeled "Free Hookers."
article-7216-2.jpg
 
Water Sign performing the classic Isley brothers "Work to Do".
 
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