Looking to make some waves, and earn some press in an otherwise anonymous season on the way toward the lottery, the team has instituted a strange and unenforceable gimmick for its Dec. 6 home game against the Dallas Mavericks.
You'll be entertained, or you're getting your money back. No word on how, exactly, the Suns will determine the level of entertainment in an era that routinely sends "The Big Bang Theory" to the top of the Nielsen Ratings. From the team's press release:
Win or lose, the Suns are guaranteeing that fans will enjoy their experience at US Airways Center. Those who aren't completely satisfied can redeem their ticket stub for a rebate equal to the purchase price of their December 6 ticket, not to exceed the face value of the ticket.
"We believe strongly in the up-tempo, exciting brand of basketball that our team plays every time it steps onto the court, as well as the overall entertainment experience we provide here at US Airways Center," said Phoenix Suns president, Jason Rowley. "We feel so confident in our product that we are willing to offer money back to those fans who leave our arena unsatisfied after experiencing the excitement of Suns basketball."
The team's website tells its fans that merely a returned ticket stub sent via mail to the franchise's office will be enough to secure a check for the full amount of the ticket's purchasing price............
..........In all actuality, there's no real risk. The few chumps that take the time to fill out a form printed off of a website and mail off the ticket stub asking for refunds will more than be made up for by the press the Suns will receive through various outlets, and the influx of ticket sales to see a re-made version of the Suns/Mavericks pairing that delighted us so much in the middle of the last decade. Because honestly, if you're asking for a refund after a pro basketball game — even if it's a one-sided slog-fest of a contest — something's wrong. All of the stuff that annoys fanatical NBAniks like myself — the bombastic music, the nonsense during timeouts and halftime — genuinely excite three-quarters of the crowd to no end.....
