Exclusive The official what each player will be for the entire season based off of 1 preseason game thread

[Mediocre Man]

Dame: stamina could be a real concern. 15 minutes is all he could go? Hey, Dame, less diss tracks and more stair master.

CJ: shooting 25% on 3s is unacceptable. Should have never gave you that extension.

Whiteside: 0 blocks. I thought you were supposed to be this great rim protector? I guess the rumors that you are a pouty, unmotivated player are true.

Collins: Meyers fucking Leonar_ had 5 more rebounds than you tonight. Did we get rid of the wrong big white stiff?

Hood: like The HCPs wedding night.......Uneventful. running around and doing nothing doesn't make you an NBA player, it makes you my alcoholic father

Bazemore: I took a shot everytime you took a shot and missed. This hangover is brutal. I'll bill you for rehab around all-star break.

Tolliver: I'm glad you like Portland. WE HATE YOU. The ball is supposed to go IN the basket.

Skal: Is there such a thing as a bad looking 2-8?

Little: So important to the coaching staff, the fans had to remind them to play you in the 4th quarter.

Hezonja: Totally reminded me of Drazen out there. BECAUSE you wore his number. Nothing else

Trent: Beg the NCAA to grant you another year of eligibility, or learn a trade.

Simons: Simon says brick

 

[ripcity67]

Wow, somebody has their cranky pants on today.

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

Dame: stamina could be a real concern. 15 minutes is all he could go? Hey, Dame, less diss tracks and more stair master.

CJ: shooting 25% on 3s is unacceptable. Should have never gave you that extension.

Whiteside: 0 blocks. I thought you were supposed to be this great rim protector? I guess the rumors that you are a pouty, unmotivated player are true.

Collins: Meyers fucking Leonar_ had 5 more rebounds than you tonight. Did we get rid of the wrong big white stiff?

Hood: like The HCPs wedding night.......Uneventful. running around and doing nothing doesn't make you an NBA player, it makes you my alcoholic father

Bazemore: I took a shot everytime you took a shot and missed. This hangover is brutal. I'll bill you for rehab around all-star break.

Tolliver: I'm glad you like Portland. WE HATE YOU. The ball is supposed to go IN the basket.

Skal: Is there such a thing as a bad looking 2-8?

Little: So important to the coaching staff, the fans had to remind them to play you in the 4th quarter.

Hezonja: Totally reminded me of Drazen out there. BECAUSE you wore his number. Nothing else

Trent: Beg the NCAA to grant you another year of eligibility, or learn a trade.

Simons: Simon says brick

Mediocre Man: No stopping him, in the off season he’s in mid-season form. Bringing posts that are so brilliant, and stupid, so amazing, so uninspiring it always brings out the mediocre!

 

[theprunetang]

Comedy gold.

 

[andalusian]

I am just worried that you emptied the chamber prematurely. Otherwise, nice.

 

[theprunetang]

Just read this in David Letterman's voice and pretend it is in the format of his old "top 10" skits. Perfect.

 

[CupWizier]

Dame: stamina could be a real concern. 15 minutes is all he could go? Hey, Dame, less diss tracks and more stair master.

CJ: shooting 25% on 3s is unacceptable. Should have never gave you that extension.

Whiteside: 0 blocks. I thought you were supposed to be this great rim protector? I guess the rumors that you are a pouty, unmotivated player are true.

Collins: Meyers fucking Leonar_ had 5 more rebounds than you tonight. Did we get rid of the wrong big white stiff?

Hood: like The HCPs wedding night.......Uneventful. running around and doing nothing doesn't make you an NBA player, it makes you my alcoholic father

Bazemore: I took a shot everytime you took a shot and missed. This hangover is brutal. I'll bill you for rehab around all-star break.

Tolliver: I'm glad you like Portland. WE HATE YOU. The ball is supposed to go IN the basket.

Skal: Is there such a thing as a bad looking 2-8?

Little: So important to the coaching staff, the fans had to remind them to play you in the 4th quarter.

Hezonja: Totally reminded me of Drazen out there. BECAUSE you wore his number. Nothing else

Trent: Beg the NCAA to grant you another year of eligibility, or learn a trade.

Simons: Simon says brick

Someone needs attention this morning?

 

[THE HCP]

I love MM so much.
The only thing that would have mad this better is if you had done it in podcast form.

 

[Mediocre Man]

I am just worried that you emptied the chamber prematurely. Otherwise, nice.

I haven't prematurely emptied the chamber since high school

 

[HailBlazers]

I haven't prematurely emptied the chamber since high school

Horse and buggy days!

 

[Mediocre Man]

Someone needs attention this morning?

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

I haven't prematurely emptied the chamber since high school

Nor has the chamber been emptied since HS!

 

[Mediocre Man]

Nor has the chamber been emptied since HS!

I knew these damn kids of mine looked an awful lot like Ruben Patterson

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

I knew these damn kids of mine looked an awful lot like Ruben Patterson

 

[theprunetang]

MM is on a roll today. Keep it going.

 

[Mediocre Man]

MM is on a roll today. Keep it going.

And get all that attention?

 

[andalusian]

I haven't prematurely emptied the chamber since high school

In this case, we have a great season ahead of us!

 

[riverman]

First genuine reverse jinx thread since mags was around.....made me laugh MM...well done!

 

[oldmangrouch]

Based on this game, I predict that all of these players will be seen wearing red and black uniforms - unless/until they are traded to a team that wears different colors.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

I think I found MM's twitter account.

 

[riverman]

I really love that MM has tracked Meyers rebounds as a Heat player....like admitting he secretly listens to ABBA

 

[riverman]

first game was sort of

 

[e_blazer]

I really love that MM has tracked Meyers rebounds as a Heat player....like admitting he secretly listens to ABBA

Good point. He could always change is screen name to "MediocreDancingQueen".

 

[Mediocre Man]

I really love that MM has tracked Meyers rebounds as a Heat player....like admitting he secretly listens to ABBA

No secret there. I love ABBA

 

[riverman]

No secret there. I love ABBA

My wife has their greatest hits on whenever she drives....we usually use separate vehicles.

 

[Natebishop3]

I love MM so much.
The only thing that would have mad this better is if you had done it in podcast form.

He's the next guest on the Around the Rim bathroom podcast!

 

[wizenheimer]

I am just worried that you emptied the chamber prematurely.

that's always been Mrs. HCP's complaint

 

[Mediocre Man]

He's the next guest on the Around the Rim bathroom podcast!

I'll be great on that pod. I've been told I give a nice rim job.

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

I'll be great on that pod. I've been told I give a nice rim job.

What is things I dont want for 2000...

 

[Hoopguru]

My wife has their greatest hits on whenever she drives....we usually use separate vehicles.

lol...my wife does too !