Religion The Rapture!

[Rastapopoulos]

Apparently it's tomorrow, Tuesday. Looking forward to a world free of Christians! The Lake of Fire will frankly be an improvement.

 

[Rastapopoulos]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

ANYONE POSTING IN THE FORUM AFTER THE RAPTURE WILL BE IMMEDIATELY BANNED BECAUSE YOU'RE EVIL.

 

[Rastapopoulos]

Time to buy a car!

Christians on TikTok are quitting their jobs and selling their cars because they think the world ends on Tuesday

Wouldn't Jesus GIVE all his possessions away? Come on Christians!

 

[julius]

How many raptures have we had now?

 

[Chris Craig]

How many raptures have we had now?

None

 

[julius]

None

I meant predictions of.

 

[Quatro44]

Is this all related to that 3I/Atlas thing in space heading right for us? Like they think they will all catch a ride on this "space ship" that is hiding behind it.

 

[Chris Craig]

I meant predictions of.

Oh, hundreds throughout history. There have been some more renowned ones more recently. Several in the 70's and 80's. The most well known one then, probably being Jonestown in 78.

They have continued through the nineties with Heavens Gate in 98 and into the naughts. Things got quiet for a bit after more recent embarrassments of being wrong. Most follow the arrival or near arrival of a comet or asteroid, a supposed vehicle for departure.

 

[Chris Craig]

Is this all related to that 3I/Atlas thing in space heading right for us? Like they think they will all catch a ride on this "space ship" that is hiding behind it.

The people in the Heaven's Gate cult did think that the arrival of the Hale-Bopp comet was their vehicle out, and there were others before that, so it wouldn't be nearly the first time.

 

[crandc]

I'll see who shows up at protest Wednesday. Although presumably anyone opposed to Trump won't be part of rapture.

 

[RR7]

How many raptures have we had now?

Not enough

 

[Chris Craig]

I'll see who shows up at protest Wednesday. Although presumably anyone opposed to Trump won't be part of rapture.

There would certainly be a lot of people that would be surprised to find they were left out. Probably not your fellow protestors.

 

[UncleCliffy'sDaddy]

Somebody tell me where it's taking place so I can show up to give them a one finger goodbye.....

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[Fez Hammersticks]

Joshua Mhlakela — the South African pastor who started it all.

Nothing.
Ever.
Happens.

 

[Rastapopoulos]

Maybe the lesson to learn is that the Rapture DID happen, it's just that all these self- called "Christians" WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH and need to take all the love stuff seriously

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Notice how no one is asking this about their cats.

Religious believers think the rapture is coming — and they’re asking if their dogs can come too

 

[Chris Craig]

Notice how no one is asking this about their cats.

Religious believers think the rapture is coming — and they’re asking if their dogs can come too

Of course they can...

 

[PDXFonz]

Is this all related to that 3I/Atlas thing in space heading right for us? Like they think they will all catch a ride on this "space ship" that is hiding behind it.

 

[crandc]

Notice how no one is asking this about their cats.

Religious believers think the rapture is coming — and they’re asking if their dogs can come too

Cats are rational.

 

[DaLong]

Cats are rational.

Woke mind virus bullshit.

 

[Rastapopoulos]

Cats are rational.

The difference between cats and dogs is: dogs are toddlers - they think you can do no wrong, love you unconditionally and are perpetually and exhaustingly needy. Cats are teenagers: they hate you, but they'll take your money and live under your roof, and on the rare occasions they actually acknowledge your existence, you feel like it's all worthwhile. (Also, like all teens, they're needy children just under the surface, and that comes out when they come and mix on you.)

 

[Rastapopoulos]

I am willing to care for a rapturee's pets in exchange for all their property. And then I will grudgingly allow them to have the pets back when they don't get raptured.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Is everyone still here?

 

[PDXFonz]

 

[PDXFonz]

Is everyone still here?

No, I’m sending this from the other side. It’s cold, dark, and damp. I hear the screeches of the Lorax in the distance complaining about the trees. I’m starting to believe this whole rapture thing was a lie, suddenly I’m questioning my decision to use toilet paper - fearing that it’s turned me into a sinner. I know the Lorax is coming for me.

Whats going on back there?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

No, I’m sending this from the other side. It’s cold, dark, and damp. I hear the screeches of the Lorax in the distance complaining about the trees. I’m starting to believe this whole rapture thing was a lie, suddenly I’m questioning my decision to use toilet paper - fearing that it’s turned me into a sinner. I know the Lorax is coming for me.

Whats going on back there?

Hahahahahahaha!

We're going through your things and seeing if there is anything worth keeping?

 

[Chris Craig]

We must have slept through it, like in the Langoliers.

 

[PDXFonz]

Hahahahahahaha!

We're going through your things and seeing if there is anything worth keeping?

To you I give my Rasheed Wallace autograph.

HCP can have my Kobe autograph, since he’s the only Lak*r fan here.