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Really? Only one person liked this?!? I swear to god Amuricans are turning into politically correct pussies.

For everyone who posts a joke from that thread or a dirty joke you may already know I will rep you.

Bonus points for posting a joke that makes HCP cry.
 
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and HCP?

Hitler had at least one testicle.
 
Sorry sly, meant to come back to rep you for posting. I read that thread in its entirety. Great stuff.
 
Where are my bonus reps? That was no simple cut and paste. I edited it to get in HCP. I worked for your love. Does HCP have to swear he cried?
 
jlprk said:
Where are my bonus reps? That was no simple cut and paste. I edited it to get in HCP. I worked for your love. Does HCP have to swear he cried?
Click to expand...

I have to rep others before I can go back and rep you again.
 
Yeah right! You are one of the top dogs! You know how to pull the strings! I want my bonus now, man! Gimme my bonus! Call up the head programmer, True Blue or whatever his name is. I've been buttering up Denny all day, he owes me goodwill points! Where's my bonus, man?
 
You can owe it to me. But remember, some day, and it may be a very long time, I will have a way for you to repay your debt to me. When I call upon you, you must do as I say.
 
Okay I thought of something. Get me a sixpack and stop at Wendy's and get me a 99 cent hamburger.
 
A mexican, a black guy and a Jew walk into a bar. The bar tender says "get the fuck out". (Gran Torino)
 
SlyPokerDog said:
Really? Only one person liked this?!? I swear to god Amuricans are turning into politically correct pussies.

For everyone who posts a joke from that thread or a dirty joke you may already know I will rep you.

Bonus points for posting a joke that makes HCP cry.
Click to expand...

I sent two of them to some of my really good friends. They were hilarious.

Here is one:

This friend of mine had a disgusted look on her face and she said "Did you know that 2 out of every 3 people live next to a pedophile"? I said, "Not me, I live next to two smoking hot 10 year olds".
Click to expand...

I don't care who you are, the inappropriateness of this one is just god damned funny!
 
Man, some of these I hadn't heard before, but some of those are oldies, especially the further you go down the feed. Was going through these earlier today.

What is worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
Click to expand...

That's a good one I haven't heard before. The pedophile and rape jokes are all pretty good as well...

Also probably going to use that Jonestown one next time I tell a joke that's not funny or crosses the line... never heard that one before...
 
NOVoodoo said:
Man, some of these I hadn't heard before, but some of those are oldies, especially the further you go down the feed. Was going through these earlier today.



That's a good one I haven't heard before. The pedophile and rape jokes are all pretty good as well...

Also probably going to use that Jonestown one next time I tell a joke that's not funny or crosses the line... never heard that one before...
Click to expand...

Rep'd
 
SlyPokerDog said:
Rep'd
Click to expand...

Preciate it. People really need to have thicker skin when it comes to sensitive jokes. I don't feel bad at all laughing at jokes about awful things like rape, murder, tragedies, etc., if they're witty and well crafted. It's comedy... I wouldn't believe that anyone who laughed at any rape joke would actually condone it. If you think that, it just means you've got a giant stick that needs to come out of your ass.

With a lot of those, they're funny because they misdirect you. I'm not sure who posted that list of paraprosdokians, but those are some of the funniest types of jokes. A lot of these are paraprosdokians that just take a blue turn.
 
Last edited:
Jonestown jokes are for wimps.

"How do you pick up women in Waco? With a dust-buster."

Now that was a classic "wince while you stifle a giggle" joke!

"Mommy, mommy - I don't want to see grandma!" "Shut up and keep digging!"

"Mommy, mommy - I'm dizzy from running in a circle!" "Shut up or I will nail your other foot to the floor!"

Bonus Laker joke: Kobe like his women the way he likes his coffee - dark, rich, mellow, ground up and stored in the freezer.
 
The first bad taste joke that I remember cringing and laughing at was the same day as the Challenger explosion. I was 12 years old, and two hours after I heard about the explosion I started hearing jokes. This is before the Internet, so I don't know how these jokes spread so fast.

What color were Christa McAuliffes eyes? Blue. One blue (blew) this way and one blue that way.

EDIT: space shuttle disaster jokes
 
Last edited:
oldmangrouch said:
Jonestown jokes are for wimps.

"How do you pick up women in Waco? With a dust-buster."

Now that was a classic "wince while you stifle a giggle" joke!

"Mommy, mommy - I don't want to see grandma!" "Shut up and keep digging!"

"Mommy, mommy - I'm dizzy from running in a circle!" "Shut up or I will nail your other foot to the floor!"

Bonus Laker joke: Kobe like his women the way he likes his coffee - dark, rich, mellow, ground up and stored in the freezer.
Click to expand...

GOD said:
The first bad taste joke that I remember cringing and laughing at was the same day as the Challenger explosion. I was 12 years old, and two hours after I heard about the explosion I started hearing jokes. This is before the Internet, so I don't know how these jokes spread so fast.

What color were Christa McAuliffes eyes? Blue. One blue (blew) this way and one blue that way.

EDIT: space shuttle disaster jokes
Click to expand...

BrianFromWA said:
I was 8, and I agree.
"You feed the dog, I'll feed the fish"
Click to expand...

Rep'd all of you.

I remember Space Shuttle disaster jokes.

NASA - Need Another Seven Astronauts
 
What's the best thing about having sex with petite women? You can just grab 'em around the waist and beat off with 'em...
 
What do you call a Mexican being basptised?

- Bean dip.



What is worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car outside an abortion clinic?

- Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
 
What did Zach Randolph tell the stripper right after one of his homies slipped her some GHB?

Imma push your stool in for you...
 
BLAZINGGIANTS said:
What do you call a Mexican being basptised?

- Bean dip.



What is worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car outside an abortion clinic?

- Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
Click to expand...

Rep'd
 
A black man, a rapist and a homophobe walk into a bar. Bartenders says, "Hi Kobe!"
 
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "where the heck did you get that?" and the parrot says, "Africa..."
 
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