San Jose has just over 1 million residents and, I believe, is the largest city in the Bay Area (SF has under 900k residents but everyone is packed into a much smaller area). Even then, I don't think of SJ as huge; LA is huge, I spent a few years after college in LA and have lots of family down there and it never ceases to amaze me what a sprawling mass of civilization it is. SJ is nothing compared to that - and downtown SJ is probably one of the worst of any metropolitan city I've been to. Despite the massive amounts of money here, our skyline is totally unremarkable due to the proximity of the airport which limits building heights. Not much culture to speak of. But SF definitely way more wackos per capita than SJ - not sure where you were hanging out
What we do have is good weather, good paying jobs, and great real estate. We bought our house at the right time and it has quadrupled in price . . . and some point in the not so distant future after career winds down and kids head off to school, we'll likely cash out and get the hell out of here.