OK, I'm going to do this verse by verse. I'll try to use some of Brian's grading criteria, but I'm not going strictly by it.
<u>VERSES 1</u>
Swish:
-made some nice punchlines about AF's name (Air Fresh beware .... be gaspin' for fresh air / Air Stale, etc.)
-used multi, but it didn't really stand out
-fairly consistent flow
-he had a constant point that he harped on almost every line (how he was motivated/coming back)
-couple of overused jokes (Umair, vcwannabe, etc.)
Air Fresh:
-first rhyme didn't rhyme at all (Black Mamba, Bin Laden)
-after a weak opening line, he came out swinging (9-10 lines of decent-very good punchlines)
-made a point to mention how he felt he was robbed
-more similes than Swish
-after the George Mason line, the rap began to get needlessly long
-too many fillers (eg: the doctor lines), and the last 7-8 lines were unspectacular
-end line didn't stand out
Verdict: Swish15
Swish came out better after the first 2 verses. I didn't take into account how they responded to each other's verse, because it would be an unfair advantage to Swish (he posted first). Ultimately, AF's length hurt him. While Swish kept it short and sweet, Fresh wasted a much better beginning with some so-so lines towards the end
<u>VERSES 2</u>
Swish:
-nice line in the beginning (champ from Florida will knock you out again)
-addressed everything (very good job of replying to all AF's main punchlines)
-good flow
-after the Ne-Yo line, things got very cliche (jokes about takin' his girl, simplistic rhymes, etc.)
-only rebutted what he did. didn't do a great job of bringin any offense afterwards
-lackluster ending
Air Fresh:
-weak first line and 2nd pair of lines didn't flow well
-his best lines aren't as good as Swish's
-doesn't fade away
-adequate flow, not great, but not horrible
-ended it out well. the last two lines were memorable and turned it around.
Verdict: Air Fresh
The second pair of posts by both battlers weren't too great. It seems both were stuck on just rebutting the other's lines, and neither one seemed to put forward any offense. In the end, I thought AF was more consistent. While his best wasn't as good as Swish's, it lasted longer, and he had a very good ending line.
<u>VERSES 3:</u>
Swish:
-came out talking about Fresh's boring rhymes, but his seemed to lack substance
-despite the not so great content, Swish had a creative structure from lines 3-6 (AB AB) that mixed it up
-finally starts to pick up after he talks about his shoes
-payless line was good, didn't rhyme completely
-2 questionable rhymes in a row (shots & stopped)
-pat garrity was the best punchline of his whole rap
-cliche rhyme (stressed, best)
-brought much more offense than the last verse, but still not as much as you'd want in a 3rd and final round.
-consistent flow again
Air Fresh:
-randomn line length in the beginning
-very good rhymes and punchlines though
-a very noticeable multi (Argentina, Katrina, Tina, Fema)
-gator shoes/soup line was horrible (no rhyme, flow, etc.). worst of the battle
-definitely saved his best rap for last
-best rhyme of round 3 (what battle did you see .... even YOU voted for me)
-rap felt too long, although he actually has rhymes instead of fillers this time
-another multi (handedly, g, grease)
-weak rhyme ruined a good punchline (0 and 2 & I am too)
-weak last line
-good flow
-more creative punchlines, jokes, and rhyme structure
Verdict: Air Fresh
In the end, Swish suffered from not bringing anything new. He used the same structure for the most part, same flow, and similar sort of rhymes. While Air Fresh elevated his length when he needed to (coming out with a lengthy, but very consistent 3rd verse to pull away), Swish's raps were more predictable by the end. Had their been a 4th verse, I think Fresh would have taken it more easily. What's more, reading these raps, I got the feeling that I'd have a harder time facing Air Fresh, than Swish. And that's really the best measure.
My vote is for Air Fresh.
.... holy crap, I'm never doing that again.
