You Do Voodoo

[e_blazer]

Okay, time to take the darkness hanging over the board and turn it into some dark humor. Since the Blazers have suffered injuries to 2 of their top 3 players, if you were a voodoo practitioner, which 2 players on each of the teams contending for the playoffs in the West would you stick your pins into to level the playing field for the Blazers? Actually, I think since Portland is home to Voodoo Donuts, I think making a player donut and taking a bite out of it is preferable to the pincushion doll thing, but whatever works for you.

 

[GrandpaBlaze]

To approximate the Blazers, I'm leaving who I picture as their top (although debatable in some cases). Granted, I don't follow some of these teams much so my picks may not be the greatest.

Warriors - Kevin & Klay
Nuggets - Murray & Harris
Rockets - Paul & Capela
Jazz - Gobert & Crowder
Clippers - Williams & Harrell
Spurs - Aldridge & Gay
Thunder - Westbrook & Adams

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Time to sage cleanse the Moda center again. Last time I did it, was the season Dame hit the .9 shot.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

And don't fuck with Voodoo. Trust me. I got fucked over in NOLA doing so.

 

[kjironman1]

And don't fuck with Voodoo. Trust me. I got fucked over in NOLA doing so.

VooDoo makes their donuts too sweet. Yeah i always get an upset stomach after them also.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

VooDoo makes their donuts too sweet. Yeah i always get an upset stomach after them also.

oh I meant real voodoo dolls. but yeah, most of their shit tastes stale.

 

[Orion Bailey]

oh I meant real voodoo dolls. but yeah, most of their shit tastes stale.

Blue star all the way. Much better coffee too.

 

[crandc]

Sorry, but Warriors has to be Draymond

 

[julius]

And don't fuck with Voodoo. Trust me. I got fucked over in NOLA doing so.

do tell

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

do tell

Messing around with a voodoo doll i bought on fat tuesday. Scaring people with it and pretended it could talk and having it host its own reality show, the doll asking girls to show their tits, just being an annoying drunk.

Got nailed in the head from an flying bottle was bleeding bad (too crowded to be targeted, random bottle). Didn't get knocked over or out, but the EMTs wanted me to go to ER (which i didn't)

The voodoo doll vanished.

 

[PDXFonz]

Time to sage cleanse the Moda center again. Last time I did it, was the season Dame hit the .9 shot.

Yeah so if you could do that before the injury next time, that would be great!

 

[e_blazer]

Messing around with a voodoo doll i bought on fat tuesday. Scaring people with it and pretended it could talk and having it host its own reality show, the doll asking girls to show their tits, just being an annoying drunk.

Got nailed in the head from an flying bottle was bleeding bad (too crowded to be targeted, random bottle). Didn't get knocked over or out, but the EMTs wanted me to go to ER (which i didn't)

The voodoo doll vanished.

Sounds more like don’t be an a-hole when playing with voodoo dolls.

 

[riverman]

Messing around with a voodoo doll i bought on fat tuesday. Scaring people with it and pretended it could talk and having it host its own reality show, the doll asking girls to show their tits, just being an annoying drunk.

Got nailed in the head from an flying bottle was bleeding bad (too crowded to be targeted, random bottle). Didn't get knocked over or out, but the EMTs wanted me to go to ER (which i didn't)

The voodoo doll vanished.

This totally explains everything....it's like seeing the elprez matrix!

 

[Wizard Mentor]

Thunder: Westbrook... just stick him twice, like REALLY hard.
Houston: Too obvious
LAC: Double sticking Doc Rivers
GS: Too many to list...

 

[riverman]

Still always and forever...Raymond Felton

 

[KingSpeed]

I put voodoo pins in a stuffed Pelican and left it a graveyard in NO before Game 3 last season. Obviously, it didn't work.

 

[BLAZINGGIANTS]

Okay, time to take the darkness hanging over the board and turn it into some dark humor. Since the Blazers have suffered injuries to 2 of their top 3 players, if you were a voodoo practitioner, which 2 players on each of the teams contending for the playoffs in the West would you stick your pins into to level the playing field for the Blazers? Actually, I think since Portland is home to Voodoo Donuts, I think making a player donut and taking a bite out of it is preferable to the pincushion doll thing, but whatever works for you.

Okay. Just so we’re clear....

What do we do the other 364 days that “darkness” hangs over this board?

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Sounds more like don’t be an a-hole when playing with voodoo dolls.

How can u not be an asshole on Bourbon street on fat Tuesday? Come on bro

 

[riverman]

How can u not be an asshole on Bourbon street on fat Tuesday? Come on bro

if this is an actual riddle my answer would be you would have to be a bar stool...just propping up assholes

 

[e_blazer]

Okay. Just so we’re clear....

What do we do the other 364 days that “darkness” hangs over this board?

I think you'll need to find Mags for help alleviating that darkness.

 

[oldmangrouch]

I put voodoo pins in a stuffed Pelican and left it a graveyard in NO before Game 3 last season. Obviously, it didn't work.

OK, that was a good one!

 

[riverman]

I put voodoo pins in a stuffed Pelican and left it a graveyard in NO before Game 3 last season. Obviously, it didn't work.

You need to stick them deeper...you just gave them an acupuncture treatment!

 

[Chris Craig]

I put voodoo pins in a stuffed Pelican and left it a graveyard in NO before Game 3 last season. Obviously, it didn't work.

You forgot the incantation

 

[Chris Craig]

I will ask the tarot cards tonight how far the Blazers will go in the playoffs...who they will play, etc

 

[PDXFonz]

I will ask the tarot cards tonight how far the Blazers will go in the playoffs...who they will play, etc

Comes back 10 hours later

“The Blazers will play the Butler in the Kitchen with a candelabra”

 

[e_blazer]

I put voodoo pins in a stuffed Pelican and left it a graveyard in NO before Game 3 last season. Obviously, it didn't work.

No wonder so many dead pelicans washed up on the beach down there.

 

[Voodoo]

You guys are all doing this all wrong, come see an expert - merely $100 an hour for all your voodoo needs!

 

[Chris Craig]

The tarot cards say the Blazers will finish in 3rd place with 53 wins, play the Clippers or Thunder in the first round and make it till at least the seventh game of the 2nd round.

 

[dviss1]

Messing around with a voodoo doll i bought on fat tuesday. Scaring people with it and pretended it could talk and having it host its own reality show, the doll asking girls to show their tits, just being an annoying drunk.

Got nailed in the head from an flying bottle was bleeding bad (too crowded to be targeted, random bottle). Didn't get knocked over or out, but the EMTs wanted me to go to ER (which i didn't)

The voodoo doll vanished.

Random?

Don't you know folk from Louisiana have IMPECCABLE aim?