Earth 4 billion years ago during the Hadean eon

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

And we've evolved to this...

Baywatch Russia!

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"

Interviewer: "Whats 14 x 27"

Me: "49"

Interviewer: "that's not even close"

Me: "yeah, but it was fast"

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"

Interviewer: "Whats 14 x 27"

Me: "49"

Interviewer: "that's not even close"

Me: "yeah, but it was fast"

Interviewer: What would you say your greatest weakness is?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes I could.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Interviewer: What would you say your greatest weakness is?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes I could.

Interviewer: What would you say your biggest weakness is?

Me: Honesty

Interviewer: I don't think that's a weakness.

Me: I don't give a fuck what you think.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Another name for Grammar Nazis is the Alt-Write.

 

[blue32]

me: can we just post more pictures of chicks in bikinis in the snow?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

me: can we just post more pictures of chicks in bikinis in the snow?

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en....1.1.0....0...1ac.2.64.img..0.0.0.mVDbSqnmuPU

 

[blue32]

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1920&bih=950&q=chicks in bikinis in the snow&oq=chicks in bikinis in the snow&gs_l=img.12...2112.2112.0.3468.1.1.0.0.0.0.45.45.1.1.0....0...1ac.2.64.img..0.0.0.mVDbSqnmuPU

hahahaha! thank you

 

[MarAzul]

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"

Interviewer: "Whats 14 x 27"

Me: "49"

Interviewer: "that's not even close"

Me: "yeah, but it was fast"

Ha! Well fast is'n it, right isn't either. Checking the work fixes this one.
Ah, but formulating the needed calculation is the key.
Then failing to do the needed calculation because you did know it was needed is a real blunder.

 

[PDXFonz]

Two elderly gentlemen are sitting at a bench

First: I just got a new hearing aid today

Second: What kind is it?

First: About a quarter after 2

 

[speeds]

Two old me are talking.

"My memory used to be not so good but I've been taking pills and now it is back like it was when I was young."
"Oh really, what's it called?"
"The medicine?"
"Yes"
"Oh, you know, um, what's that thing, grows in the ground?"
"A plant?"
"Right, but it is colourful"
"A flower"
"That's it. What's the one that's red?"
"Azalea?"
"No, you know, you can wear it"
"Carnation?"
"Like that but longer, it has a long stem"
"A rose?"
"That's it!" The man looks over his shoulder. "Rose, dear! What's the name of those pills I'm taking?"

 

[barfo]

me: can we just post more pictures of chicks in bikinis in the snow?

I just need to point out here that the Russian Baywatch chick was not wearing a bikini.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

barfo

 

[Denny Crane]

Those oceans might be dead.

 

[BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94]

Since this has gone off the rails... have any of you guys almost shit your pants at work before? Nearly happened to me this morning... Very scary.

 

[theprunetang]

Since this has gone off the rails... have any of you guys almost shit your pants at work before? Nearly happened to me this morning... Very scary.

I walk to work and a couple of years ago, I was coming back to work after being out a couple of days with a serious flue. I still felt terrible, but I tried to come back. On my way walking to work, that terrible feeling started. I couldn't hold it in and totally shit my pants. At that point, I called my boss and told him what happened. Let this be a reminder. If you are still having flue symptoms, don't try to power through and go to work. You will shit yourself in public.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

If you are still having flue symptoms

Santa Claus is the only person who gets flue symptoms.

 

[barfo]

Santa Claus is the only person who gets flue symptoms.

If Santa shits his pants in your chimney, it's you that has a flue problem.

barfo

 

[theprunetang]

Santa Claus is the only person who gets flue symptoms.

Tooshay. (Get it?)