OT Either stop locking threads or close the OT forum down (1 Viewer)

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BLAZINGGIANTS said:
Yeah. But the Willamette Valley is like the worst place in the US for allergies. The Natives didn’t call it the “Valley of Death” for nothing....
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Valley of Sickness........and in the spring, southern Illinois and Kentucky are worse. But that’s just my experience....
 
UncleCliffy'sDaddy said:
Hey, I didn’t even know I had any “real” allergies until I did some traveling. Couldn’t wait to get back to Oregon and roll in a grass or hay field just to feel better.....
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Ha!
I remember getting some god awful crud in the South Pacific. Like nothing you can find anywhere in this country. Well maybe in those swamps around DC.
 
It’s almost like, neither side is willing to see where the other is coming from....

They both keep trolling each other....

Except one side constantly demonizes an entire demographic of people. So until that stops I don’t think there will be much progress on this board.
 
Nate said:
It’s almost like, neither side is willing to see where the other is coming from....

They both keep trolling each other....

Except one side constantly demonizes an entire demographic of people. So until that stops I don’t think there will be much progress on this board.
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That's why I've gone full dog, so I can demonize ALL OF YOU!
 
dviss1 said:
Approach any black person with that type of vernacular and they would react negatively. One might beat his ass, the other might tell him about himself very eloquently. One might give him a look and just ignore him. I'm just pretty damn sure the response would be negative and I know better than you do.

This would indicate we don't all think alike.
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Why can't it just be condescending and not racist?

If you walked up to a redneck with a hillbilly accent and said, with a condescending tone of voice, "I'ma edumacate you," how well would that go?

People don't like to be talked down to. To me, saying "edumacate" is a way of making fun of people with bad grammar. Maybe with poor intelligence. To me, it has always been about making fun of people from the south.... not necessarily black or white. But I have also heard people at school (when I went to school) say something along the lines of "I'm gettin me an edumacation!" That's really the only way that I have heard that word. So that's why I had never thought of it as any kind of racist context.

Not everything is an attack on you man. If you have a different perspective, and someone has a genuine question, why not just talk about it?
 
PtldPlatypus said:
Just when this thread was nice and calm and talking about restaurants, dams, and allergies, it gets all spun up again.

And no, I'm not interested in any finger-pointing placing blame. Not helpful, not productive.

Is anything useful being accomplished in this thread at this point?
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You guys are like the Jedi. It's not just about the light and the dark baby! Sometimes you need to live in the grey.

Discussion is about discord. It can't be all hunky dory all the time. People have arguments. The only time I would have stepped in is if someone starts bringing up personal shit that has nothing to do with the argument. PapaG liked to take shots at my writing career, or at my wife. That was what separated him from other posters. Most people are happy to just slam on your posts, and that's fine. I'm totally fine with trading shots over thoughts and opinions. And for the most part, I don't carry grudges. In fact, usually I'll just skip over someone if I find them boring or a broken record. I don't even need to ignore them. I just automatically skip over them when I'm scrolling through. To me, that's the worst thing that can happen to you on a forum.... become boring and irrelevant. Why even come here if nobody is going to read or comment on what you write?
 
Natebishop3 said:
You guys are like the Jedi. It's not just about the light and the dark baby! Sometimes you need to live in the grey.

Discussion is about discord. It can't be all hunky dory all the time. People have arguments. The only time I would have stepped in is if someone starts bringing up personal shit that has nothing to do with the argument. PapaG liked to take shots at my writing career, or at my wife. That was what separated him from other posters. Most people are happy to just slam on your posts, and that's fine. I'm totally fine with trading shots over thoughts and opinions. And for the most part, I don't carry grudges. In fact, usually I'll just skip over someone if I find them boring or a broken record. I don't even need to ignore them. I just automatically skip over them when I'm scrolling through. To me, that's the worst thing that can happen to you on a forum.... become boring and irrelevant. Why even come here if nobody is going to read or comment on what you write?
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You misread my frustration. There's constant agreement. Boring. There's personal potshots. Tedious. In the middle--debating and disagreeing without being disagreeable--is what makes for good discussion. That's all I'm asking for.
 
SportsAndWhine said:
Even if it was "just condescending", then it was still an attack on him. You don't care about treating people with respect as long as nobody calls you the r-word.
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This is what happened.

Dviss told someone to “educate” themselves in a condescending way.

I then made a joke about how we need to be more edumacated like dviss.

I made the joke, because I didn’t think the shit Dviss was so admant about people learning, was really, all that complicated? (Or needed everyday knowledge) Definitley not something I would boast about having knowledge of, then condescendingly tell someone to educate themselves on.

So no, it had nothing to do with race. But of course, if you ask Dviss, I’m sure there’s a different story.
 
Natebishop3 said:
is a way of making fun of people
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Bingo!
It offends me when someone does this sort of thing with the intent to offend anyone. Usually the person is simply revealing their own faults. No other labels needed.

Correction
Perhaps I should not say it offends me. But I do cringe when see the intent to belittle.
 
Nate said:
This is what happened.

Dviss told someone to “educate” themselves in a condescending way.

I then made a joke about how we need to be more edumacated like dviss.

I made the joke, because I didn’t think the shit Dviss was so admant about people learning, was really, all that complicated? (Or needed everyday knowledge) Definitley not something I would boast about having knowledge of, then condescendingly tell someone to educate themselves on.

So no, it had nothing to do with race. But of course, if you ask Dviss, I’m sure there’s a different story.
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I get all that, you didn't mean to offend Dviss. And while you didn't mean to offend Dviss he took it as one. So you say, "Dude, I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry." And then everyone moves on. This debating and arguing over whether or not it's offensive is dumb because according to you it was never your intention to offend him.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
I get all that, you didn't mean to offend Dviss. And while you didn't mean to offend Dviss he took it as one. So you say, "Dude, I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry." And then everyone moves on. This debating and arguing over whether or not it's offensive is dumb because according to you it was never your intention to offend him.
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Didn't he get called racist for it? Why can't the other party also say, "Dude, I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry."
 
noknobs said:
Didn't he get called racist for it? Why can't the other party also say, "Dude, I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry."
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Usually, the (over)reacting person apologizes AFTER the person who offended him apologizes. Guess what never happened, though.
 
noknobs said:
Didn't he get called racist for it? Why can't the other party also say, "Dude, I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry."
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"That's racist" isn't the same as "You are a racist."
 
SlyPokerDog said:
"That's racist" isn't the same as "You are a racist."
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Oh good, semantics. If I say something that's not racist, and someone publically says "that's racist", I'm offended.

SportsAndWhine said:
Usually, the (over)reacting person apologizes AFTER the person who offended him apologizes. Guess what never happened, though.
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The person "who offended him" didn't offend him. What he said was not offensive, at all, let alone racist.
 
noknobs said:
The person "who offended him" didn't offend him. What he said was not offensive, at all, let alone racist.
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The person who said the thing doesn't get to decide what offends the person hearing the thing; if the person was offended, then that's where the conversation has to begin. Following it up by snarking about the black victim card probably didn't help either.
 
SportsAndWhine said:
The person who said the thing doesn't get to decide what offends the person hearing the thing; if the person was offended, then that's where the conversation has to begin. Following it up by snarking about the black victim card probably didn't help either.
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You can take yourself as seriously as you want and get offended over anything, that doesn't require me to apologize. And when someone does take it too seriously and overreacts, that's where the escalation begins.
 
noknobs said:
You can take yourself as seriously as you want and get offended over anything, that doesn't require me to apologize. And when someone does take it too seriously and overreacts, that's where the escalation begins.
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And this lack of empathy, this lack of interest in thinking about the other person's feelings and why they reacted the way they did, is exactly why threads get locked, people get (temp) banned, and still even after all that nobody has learned any lessons.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
I get all that, you didn't mean to offend Dviss. And while you didn't mean to offend Dviss he took it as one. So you say, "Dude, I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry." And then everyone moves on. This debating and arguing over whether or not it's offensive is dumb because according to you it was never your intention to offend him.
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I wish it were that simple. But I don’t want to have to apologize for every micro aggression that someone feels on here.

I’d rather people just not assume I’m a racist asshole.
 
SportsAndWhine said:
And this lack of empathy, this lack of interest in thinking about the other person's feelings and why they reacted the way they did, is exactly why threads get locked, people get (temp) banned, and still even after all that nobody has learned any lessons.
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How is it a lack of empathy? Because he didn't apologize for something he didn't need to apologize for?
 
Nate said:
I wish it were that simple. But I don’t want to have to apologize for every micro aggression that someone feels on here.

I’d rather people just not assume I’m a racist asshole.
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But what do you have control over? What others assume, or how you respond to people?

I don't want to apologize to people if they are offended by something that I don't think should be offensive...but I do anyway, because I don't think my wants are more important than their feelings.

That's just me though...
 
SlyPokerDog said:
I get all that, you didn't mean to offend Dviss. And while you didn't mean to offend Dviss he took it as one. So you say, "Dude, I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry." And then everyone moves on. This debating and arguing over whether or not it's offensive is dumb because according to you it was never your intention to offend him.
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Also, and be completely honest. What do you think his reaction would’ve been?

Do you think he would’ve accepted that as not being racist?

Or do you think he would’ve started out in all caps telling me how racist it is, and to gtfo?
 
PtldPlatypus said:
But what do you have control over? What others assume, or how you respond to people?

I don't want to apologize to people if they are offended by something that I don't think should be offensive...but I do anyway, because I don't think my wants are more important than their feelings.

That's just me though...
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Maybe I’ll just put a disclaimer apology in my sig?

I also think it’s common courtesy, and respectful, to not assume that other people are racist.

That includes: not interpreting everything they say, as the worst interpretation, then making you apologize for their interpretation; or risk being a racist asshole.
 
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