File Under: Most Ludicrous Idea Of The Year

[ABM]

https://ripcityproject.com/2019/09/25/kobe-considered-candidate-buy-portland-trail-blazers/

Should Kobe be considered a candidate to buy the Portland Trail Blazers?

Join us for a trip down uncanny valley, where Kobe Bryant could realistically become the next owner of the Portland Trail Blazers.

Alright, calm down. I know, accepting the reality where a long-time franchise rival and controversial figurehead Kobe Bryant could logically become the best choice to assume ownership of the Portland Trail Blazers is a tough pill to swallow. Even so, we’re here to shine a light on why that may not be such a bad thing after all.

Since Microsoft co-founder and former Blazers’ owner Paul Allen passed in October of 2018, the Portland Trail Blazers have been suspended in a state of purgatory. While Paul’s sister Jody has done a commendable job thus far managing the situation and honoring her late brother’s legacy, this is not likely a venture we can expect her to want to be preoccupied with forever. (CONTINUED......)

 

[mook]

After I got done throwing up in my mouth, I was surprised how quickly I came around to the idea.

• Kobe made a career out of manipulating the league to get things his way, from forcing a trade at draft to the Lakers, getting rid of Shaq, and all the way up to the year-long Retirement Masturbation Tour. Wouldn't you like him manipulating shit for us?
• He really hasn't raped anybody in, like, a decade or so.
• Modern players idolize him. He and Lillard would be an amazing tag team for recruiting free agents.
• Tales of his work ethic are legend. I think he'd set a standard for effort that would trickle down throughout the organization.
• There's no denying he's smart as fuck.

In the end, I want the Blazers to win. Even if it means putting up with that mother fucker.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

He's already got his outfit for white-out nights.

 

[Chris Craig]

 

[tlongII]

I didn't read the article, but there's no way he's got the kind of money to be a majority owner. He's rich, but not MJ rich.

 

[B-Roy]

• Modern players idolize him. He and Lillard would be an amazing tag team for recruiting free agents.

This is the only thing that interests me. But I don't think even Kobe could get free agents to consider Portland. Color me skeptical.

 

[crandc]

No.

 

[riverman]

People say Kobe will bring in players...he can also chase them away...he chased Shaq away at the peak of their championship era...if he were smart he'd have played his whole career with Shaq

 

[Binx]

In the end, I want the Blazers to win. Even if it means putting up with that mother fucker.

Uh, no. No way in hell.

 

[CupWizier]

This is the only thing that interests me. But I don't think even Kobe could get free agents to consider Portland. Color me skeptical.

lol. towards the end of his career he was having trouble attracting free agents to the lakers.

 

[BlazerWookee]

Not no.

Not Hell no.

But Hell fucking no.

 

[Jade Falcon]

X 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

 

[THE HCP]

Hmmmmmm

 

[crandc]

Speculation on top of speculation.

So far as I know none of us has had private conversations with Jody, we don't know what her intentions are. And even if she's selling, would she sell Paul's beloved Blazers to Kobe Fucking Bryant? And does he have the money to buy this or any other team? No doubt a work ethic, but if he's still seen as a peer that's a weakness.

Of all the things I lose sleep over, this is low on the list.

 

[kjironman1]

He really hasn't raped anybody in, like, a decade or so.

Well then okay! I draw the line at a decade though.

 

[ABM]

Well then okay! I draw the line at a decade though.

Is that your personal statutory of limitations?

 

[riverman]

I can see Kobe telling CJ....ISO ball man..forget those guys...you're the shooter! They need to pass to you!

 

[kjironman1]

I can see Kobe telling CJ....ISO ball man..forget those guys...you're the shooter! They need to pass to you!

“Demand the BALL!”

 

[PHXBlazer1]

His venture capital firm manages over $2 billion in assets..if you watch his recent interview on CNBC (I think) he’s obviously business savvy. And no doubt has some good advisors working with him. I wouldn’t have a problem with this.

 

[Jade Falcon]

His venture capital firm manages over $2 billion in assets..if you watch his recent interview on CNBC (I think) he’s obviously business savvy. And no doubt has some good advisors working with him. I wouldn’t have a problem with this.

I do. The man would try and turn us into LA Lite. His only redeeming quality is that he likes and respects Dame.

 

[BonesJones]

The man would try and turn us into LA Lite.

What does this mean...?

 

[Jade Falcon]

What does this mean...?

Oh you know....he would turn our team into a bunch of "popular" players who are major douchebags with no loyalty. Probably a few head cases as well, and probably with a new garish logo too.

I don't want that here in Portland.

 

[BonesJones]

Oh you know....he would turn our team into a bunch of "popular" players who are major douchebags with no loyalty. Probably a few head cases as well, and probably with a new garish logo too.

I don't want that here in Portland.

No loyalty? He played for one team his entire career. How would he change peoples personalities? Nothing you said makes sense...

MJ owns the Hornets....

 

[Jade Falcon]

No loyalty? He played for ine team his entire career. How would he change peoples personalities? Nothing you said makes sense...

MJ owns the Hornets....

And MJ is a terrible owner, so what's your point?

I doubt Kobe would be much better. Are you telling me you REALLY want him as the owner of our team?

 

[BonesJones]

And MJ is a terrible owner, so what's your point?

I doubt Kobe would be much better. Are you telling me you REALLY want him as the owner of our team?

Yeha but the Hornets dont magically take on his personality. Thats my point.

I never said Id want him as owner. I just dont understand the made-up anger over the idea that somehow all our players would magically turn into him without the skill.

 

[Jade Falcon]

Yeha but the Hornets dont magically take on his personality. Thats my point.

I never said Id want him as owner. I just dont understand the made-up anger over the idea that somehow all our players would magically turn into him without the skill.

Oh no, not OUR players......HIS players. The players he would bring in to replace probably everyone except Dame.

I have confidence in OUR players. Not his.

 

[BonesJones]

Oh no, not OUR players......HIS players. The players he would bring in to replace probably everyone except Dame.

I have confidence in OUR players. Not his.

A bunch of baseless assumptions.

 

[Jade Falcon]

A bunch of baseless assumptions.

Okay, you tell me why you think it is that nobody wants him as our team's owner. Because he's a Laker? Please tell me you're thought process goes deeper than that.

 

[ABM]

It's pretty much a documented fact that any Portlander (and/or ardent follower/fan of the Blazers) has a built-in hate gene as it relates to ANYTHING LA Lakers. Actually, we were all born with it. I'm thinking this goes back to the 4-0 sweep of KA-J & Co. in the 1977 WCF.

 

[BonesJones]

Okay, you tell me why you think it is that nobody wants him as our team's owner. Because he's a Laker? Please tell me you're thought process goes deeper than that.

You have no basis deeper than that for saying he'd turn us into "LA Lite" with a new logo and a bunch of popular douchbags who have no loyalty.