If you try to tell me I shouldn’t be emotional about a racial justice issue, then I already know you don’t understand that issue.
Because emotion is a natural response to oppression – and having someone judge how I feel about it just makes me feel worse.
For example, take micgroaggressions– small, subtle incidents of racism often done by people who don’t know they’re being racist. An example is someone telling me, "you're so well spoken".
It’s not the most egregious expression of racism, so you may wonder, “What’s the big deal?”
I’m upset, you’re confused, and the difference between our reactions isn’t just a matter of my being “oversensitive.” It’s a matter of privilege: You can learn about racism through secondhand sources, while I’ve directly experienced racism my entire life.
So it’s not up to you to decide what I should be offended by. Save your whitesplanation if you want to explain why I’m overreacting to a well-meaning compliment (which isn't a compliment at all) by cringing at "you're so well spoken".
After I’ve dealt with microagressions on a daily basis for so long, it’s just cruel to expect me to minimize my feelings about racism.
But wait – do my feelings make me biased? Maybe YOU want to have an “objective conversation,” a “rational debate,” without emotions getting in the way.
Like so many whitesplainers, you believe what you say is important because you think you have have logic on your side. Objectivity is an understandable goal, but think about what it means to believe you’re the only one who can bring “reason” into the conversation.