I Need A Job -- Cash Reward Involved

[ABM]

how's your cover letter? greatly under-rated in the job application process.

Here's one I just sent to Trader Joe's in Portland.

Thoughts? Critiques?

Dear Trader Joe’s Representative:

I am enclosing a resume for your review. Please consider this letter as my formal application presenting my background, education, and experience.

I have over 20 years experience in the Retail and Print Management industries and I am well versed in the areas of organization, personnel development, managing budgets, and general retail operations.

I work well with people and enjoy setting and accomplishing goals, managing priorities, resolving conflict, and getting the work at hand completed.

Most recently, I was (nearly 19 years) with the Harland Clarke Co. Regretfully, our entire department was eliminated due to an expansive and ongoing corporate downsizing effort.

Nonetheless, I am extremely excited to begin my new career – hopefully, with Trader Joe’s! I simply LOVE to cook, eat, and have fun doing it! I see Trader Joe’s as a progressive, values-minded, and fun-loving, organization. I also see Trader Joe’s as a Company with whom I would love to partner with! I strongly embrace and emphasize honesty and integrity, hard work, teamwork, and dedication. I am loyal and motivated. I strongly believe Trader Joe’s is a mutual fit for me in all of these areas!

Specifically, I have over 6 years experience in Grocery Management - most recent at the Assistant Manager level. While not currently a Grocery Manager, I have continued to hone my leadership and teamwork skills as a Manager in the Print industry and believe many of these skills and attributes are transferable - and required for a leadership position within Trader Joe’s.

I’m strongly and enthusiastically looking to re-enter the Food Industry! I had enjoyed it so much and have often looked back at my career in grocery with much fondness. The timing couldn’t be better for me to wholeheartedly launch back into it!

I do not have a 4-year degree, but have taken a number of college courses in Business, Business Management, and Sociology. That said, I believe my extensive experience and success in Management – including the completion of many courses and programs - has ultimately proven its worth and value over the years.

I am definitely mobile to other areas upon completing my training requirements with Trader Joe’s. In fact, I’m currently in the process of re-locating back to the Northwest from Georgia. You see, I’m already in the re-location mode! I am more than happy to begin at the Novitiate level within the Company. In fact, it appears to be a great beginning point. A such, there’s nothing like building a solid foundation upwards within the Company!

Considering my general proximity, I don’t regularly shop at Trader Joe’s, However, I love your stores and the marvelous concept! I am extremely health-conscious, so I can appreciate Trader Joe’s approach to providing naturally healthy products, food expertise, and overall value to the consumer!

May I arrange an interview to further discuss my qualifications? I will be in the Portland, OR area between the dates of January 27th and February 9th, 2009 and would love to avail myself for an interview with Trader Joe’s.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

To me, its a bit long and repetative in parts.

4 one-sentence (well, the first is technically two) paragraphs to start the letter, to me is kind of annoying.

I would eliminate why your previous employer downsized and anything negative-sounding (including not having a college degree...always stay positive in the letter). You also say you don't shop there, which is uncessary...you don't need a full disclosure. If you get an interview, go to a trader joe's before it..pick 3 random items as your "favorites" and mention that in your interview...or look online and then try it.

I always mention where I saw the job opening as the first paragraph of the letter, also I start it off stating that I feel that I am the ideal candidate for the job, then list my reasons.

Here's my chopped up version, which is a little more to the point and more agressive, could use a little work but then i'd have to charge you .

I had recently come across a possible opening for _______ through an online posting I saw at traderjoes.com I strongly feel that I am the ideal candidate for this position and I am submitting my resume for your review.

I have over 20 years experience in the Retail and Print Management, including 6 years experience in Grocery Store Management. I have had experience managing personnel development, budgets, and general retail operations in a senior capacity. I work well with people and enjoy setting and accomplishing goals, managing priorities, and resolving conflicts in a retail environment.

I am extremely excited of the possibility to begin a new career with Trader Joe’s. I see Trader Joe’s as a progressive, value-minded, and fun-loving organization which I would be proud and enthusiastic to be a part of.

As I am currently in the process of relocating back to the Portland, Oregon area from Atlanta, Georgia, I will be in town from January 27th and February 9th, 2009 and will be available to meet with you at that time. You can reach me at (555) 555-55555 or email at ABM6969@aol.com to schedule an interview.

I thank you for your time and hope to hear from you shortly.

Regards,

ABM

 

[tlongII]

I agree with Agent's critique. You should chop that cover letter down to something similar to what he has displayed.

 

[ABM]

Sorry about that. I suppose I should have used another example. Here's what was listed on Trader Joe's on-line application:

Please include the reference code/job ID for this position in the subject line of your email. When creating your cover letter, please explain any gaps in employment or recent job changes and answer the following questions consider this your first test in following instructions!):

Why do you want to work for Trader Joe's?
Do you have 5 or more years of customer service experience (retail, restaurant, hospitality)?
Are you currently a Store Manager or Assistant Store Manager?
Do you have a 4-year college degree?
Are you mobile to other areas after 12 to 18 months of training?
Are you comfortable starting as a "Novitiate"?
Do you currently shop at Trader Joe's? If so, which store? If not, which store is closest to you?
What is your favorite Trader Joe's product and why?
Due to the extremely large volume of resumes received we can only consider candidates who follow these very important instructions. If you do not include an appropriate cover letter, your resume will be deleted (hey, we never said this would be easy). And don't forget to tell us that you heard about us online! We look forward to meeting you!


What Happens Next...Only candidates who have followed the application instructions will have their resumes reviewed. Those who meet our current criteria, and WOW us with their cover letter, will be contacted (typically within two weeks). Sorry, we do not contact all candidates. Our interview process usually consists of several rounds of interviews as well as a background check and reference and education verifications.

Heh, I did kind of wonder what "WOW" meant.

 

[mook]

Hey, ABM. As a graphic designer, I work with two printers in Portland and one here in Boise. I'll ask around for you.

I'm sure you know, though, that the printing business seems to be taking a pretty big hit, and the Pacific Northwest is also sucking hard teat right now.

 

[ABM]

Hey, ABM. As a graphic designer, I work with two printers in Portland and one here in Boise. I'll ask around for you.

I'm sure you know, though, that the printing business seems to be taking a pretty big hit, and the Pacific Northwest is also sucking hard teat right now.

Boy, don't I know it. Thanks for anything you might be able to do. I'm dead serious about that reward, too. Dead serious.

BTW, I'll never forget that Blazer Bash we did and your wife was so kind to take all those picture for us. Oh, and I won't even mention the awesome shot she and Blaze did together. That was commercial quality stuff.

 

[barfo]

My thoughts:

I am enclosing a resume for your review. Please consider this letter as my formal application presenting my background, education, and experience.

This paragraph is a waste of space. They know it's a resume, and they know you want to apply. Don't tell them stuff they already know. You can just delete that entirely. Your next paragraph makes a much stronger beginning.

Considering my general proximity,

How about "Considering my current location", or even better yet, "Since I currently live in Atlanta". Simple language is almost always best, unless you are applying for a position as a professor of English.

May I arrange an interview to further discuss my qualifications?

I'd delete that - they know you want an interview, you don't have to tell them. And the following sentence makes it clear anyway.

There are a lot! of exclamation! points! in your! letter! However, given the ad you were responding to, it may be appropriate to have a lot. Not sure.

Good luck.

barfo

 

[ABM]

My thoughts:


How about "Considering my current location", or even better yet, "Since I currently live in Atlanta". Simple language is almost always best, unless you are applying for a position as a professor of English.

Great insights, thanks! (oops, exclamation point. )

They have a number of stores here in Atlanta, so I wasn't sure how to approach that. There's a store about 10 miles away from our house. I suppose that's why I used the "proximity" term. I hear ya, though.

Thanks again....

 

[The_Lillard_King]

I don't know if this is the place to put it, but front page of the O today is Intel announcing 1,000 jobs in Hillsboro will be cut.

Everybody needs to hang in there . . . should see a turn around next year.

 

[barfo]

Great insights, thanks! (oops, exclamation point. )

They have a number of stores here in Atlanta, so I wasn't sure how to approach that. There's a store about 10 miles away from our house. I suppose that's why I used the "proximity" term. I hear ya, though.

Thanks again....

Ah, I didn't realize they had stores in Atlanta. In that case, "the nearest store is about 10 miles away" might be better (although, they might consider that evidence of inadequate determination on your part - what's keeping you from driving those 10 miles?).

barfo

 

[ABM]

what's keeping you from driving those 10 miles?).

barfo

Absolutely nothing. In fact, I'm going to be driving those 10 miles from this point on.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

you need to lie and say you go to TJs. pick out some product and say its your favorite.

 

[ABM]

you need to lie and say you go to TJs. pick out some product and say its your favorite.

Thought about that. In fact, though, I WILL be going to TJ,s, pick out a product and go YUM! YUM!

Then I won't have to lie. (see my remarks about honesty and integrity on my cover letter.)

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

I hate TJs..dunno, its shitty food that spoils faster than anything else. I like the beverage selection though.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

I hear their store managers make pretty good money though....close to 6 figures.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

based on their requirements of the job, I would have written a narrative story in form of a cover letter.

 

[mook]

If I had more knowledge and skills, I would start my own company right now. As it is, I have done some various consulting work helping to test user interface functionality on a proprietary electronic device. I'm also in the process of establishing a family-run land development company (mainly for tax purposes) to control my family's assets. But as it is, I am looking to get into a company and move up. I wish my interview with Pacific Crest Securities had gone better a few months ago.

Go start your own business. I think you have plenty of knowledge and skills to do so, what it really takes is balls and a willingness to see potential in others.

I had a somewhat similar pedigree to you (high grades, lots of extracurricular) in college, although my studies were more in marketing. I did the corporate thing for 15 years, and I guess I learned a lot about running a business. But I could've learned it a lot faster on my own by just throwing up a shingle and starting my business back then.

I now run a pretty promising little family software business. Wife does the programming, mother-in-law does customer service, father-in-law does shipping, my dad is effectively my board, a retired CFO does my accounting, a retired PR lady in California does our blog, we hire some consultants for the occasional programming heavy lifting.

The key for me was getting lots of "retired" older people involved in helping me succeed. I'm constantly astonished at how smart and under-utilized these people were, and how willing they've been willing to help for astonishingly little money.

I know you say you don't like programming, but maybe just knuckle down and come up with an app that's sellable. The programming is secondary compared to the work it takes to get all these other people on board (and teaching yourself how to market).

The economy is going to suck anyway for at least 2 years. How long does it really take to get a business off the ground? About two years. So with a little luck you have a quality, sellable product available just in time for people to have money to buy it.

 

[maxiep]

you need to lie and say you go to TJs. pick out some product and say its your favorite.

The wasabi chick peas are what I imagine heroin would be like.

 

[The_Lillard_King]

Go start your own business. I think you have plenty of knowledge and skills to do so, what it really takes is balls and a willingness to see potential in others.

I had a somewhat similar pedigree to you (high grades, lots of extracurricular) in college, although my studies were more in marketing. I did the corporate thing for 15 years, and I guess I learned a lot about running a business. But I could've learned it a lot faster on my own by just throwing up a shingle and starting my business back then.

I now run a pretty promising little family software business. Wife does the programming, mother-in-law does customer service, father-in-law does shipping, my dad is effectively my board, a retired CFO does my accounting, a retired PR lady in California does our blog, we hire some consultants for the occasional programming heavy lifting.

The key for me was getting lots of "retired" older people involved in helping me succeed. I'm constantly astonished at how smart and under-utilized these people were, and how willing they've been willing to help for astonishingly little money.

I know you say you don't like programming, but maybe just knuckle down and come up with an app that's sellable. The programming is secondary compared to the work it takes to get all these other people on board (and teaching yourself how to market).

The economy is going to suck anyway for at least 2 years. How long does it really take to get a business off the ground? About two years. So with a little luck you have a quality, sellable product available just in time for people to have money to buy it.

Danm I wish you were retired mook.

 

[BalancedMan]

how's your cover letter? greatly under-rated in the job application process.

I'm currently re-tooling mine because I feel that mine came across as too generic and did not compliment my resume well.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

I'm currently re-tooling mine because I feel that mine came across as too generic and did not compliment my resume well.

IMO, you need to write a unique cover letter for every job you apply to.

You can have the same basic skeleton, but you need to target it at a specific job. You look at the job posting, then mention all the qualifications they are looking for in their actual posting and either answer them or allude to them.

 

[BalancedMan]

Here's a cover letter that I recently used for an entry-level management position. It's a bit too long, and the more I read it the less I like it, which is why I'm continuing to rework what to say:

Please consider my qualifications for the Oregon Opportunity Grant Policy Analyst position as posted on the State of Oregon Jobs Page. I believe that my combination of experience, skills and enthusiasm would be of enormous benefit to your organization.

Having received nearly $50,000 dollars in scholarships to complete my college education, I am aware of the importance of this organization and the impact that it can make on providing individuals the opportunity for success. Not only do I believe that this cause is interesting and an excellent use of my talents, but I find the challenge of effective program management exciting. My previous experiences in project management have always been extremely successful and something that I have enjoyed.

During my internship with Nike I was given complete ownership over a major technical research project; I worked with global IT and business team leaders to become a subject matter expert and provided my analysis and recommendations in a comprehensive report. At the Business Solutions Group, I worked as a team leader and was responsible for all aspects of the software development process, including scheduling and communicating with clients. As a college teaching assistant I was in charge of designing and administering recitation lectures and laboratory activities that were directly responsible for 20% of the course grade. With my Honors Business Administration degree and Management focus, I believe I have excellent formal training to combine with my real-world experiences.

I have always found myself drawn towards leadership positions, whether they are in student government, academic clubs, sports teams, or volunteer organizations. These experiences have improved my ability to work on a team and provided numerous opportunities to refine my public speaking skills. I pride myself on my strong writing ability, and have worked as a copy revisionist on a recently published book.

I am confident that my combination of work and educational experience has prepared me to make an immediate contribution to your team. Additional qualifications can be found in my PD100 Application Form, which is attached. Please call me at (555) 555-5555 or send an email to [removed] to arrange a convenient time when we may further discuss my background in relation to your needs. The opportunity to work for the State of Oregon is very exciting and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

 

[BalancedMan]

IMO, you need to write a unique cover letter for every job you apply to.

You can have the same basic skeleton, but you need to target it at a specific job. You look at the job posting, then mention all the qualifications they are looking for in their actual posting and either answer them or allude to them.

No I know, but it seems like every time I wrote a cover letter, regardless of the position, the letters were looking too similar. Granted, a lot of the positions I was applying for were similar jobs...

But yeah, I'm trying to really put the company and their needs in the forefront of my mind for all the cover letters that I'm currently working on. And that actually takes a surprising amount of work and effort, since it needs to be truly unique for each position.

 

[The_Lillard_King]

IMO, you need to write a unique cover letter for every job you apply to.

You can have the same basic skeleton, but you need to target it at a specific job. You look at the job posting, then mention all the qualifications they are looking for in their actual posting and either answer them or allude to them.

I come from a completely different school of thought when it comes to cover letters. I always figured a cover letter would never get you an interview, but could lose you an interview (in other words no mistakes in the cover letter).

But I like what you did with ABM's cover letter and maybe I have been underestimating the value of cover letters all this time.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

Please consider my qualifications for the Oregon Opportunity Grant Policy Analyst position as posted on the State of Oregon Jobs Page. I believe that my combination of experience, skills and enthusiasm would be of enormous benefit to your organization.

Don't beg on your first sentence. Say that you are submitting your resume for review for the job you want. Don't say "your organization", mention the specific department you are reporting to.

Having received nearly $50,000 dollars in scholarships to complete my college education, I am aware of the importance of this organization and the impact that it can make on providing individuals the opportunity for success. Not only do I believe that this cause is interesting and an excellent use of my talents, but I find the challenge of effective program management exciting. My previous experiences in project management have always been extremely successful and something that I have enjoyed.

Do not mention you getting a scholarship to complete your college education as some sort of qualification for this position. Seems like you're bragging about it. I would actually delete this entire paragraph. Mention project management in the next paragraph.

During my internship with Nike I was given complete ownership over a major technical research project; I worked with global IT and business team leaders to become a subject matter expert and provided my analysis and recommendations in a comprehensive report. At the Business Solutions Group, I worked as a team leader and was responsible for all aspects of the software development process, including scheduling and communicating with clients. As a college teaching assistant I was in charge of designing and administering recitation lectures and laboratory activities that were directly responsible for 20% of the course grade. With my Honors Business Administration degree and Management focus, I believe I have excellent formal training to combine with my real-world experiences.

This is good and relevant. You should preface it with an introductory sentence stating that you have been exposed to various responsibilities. Something like "I have had valuable experience in project management, managing other interns/employees and that you have worked as part of a team in a corporate setting".

I have always found myself drawn towards leadership positions, whether they are in student government, academic clubs, sports teams, or volunteer organizations. These experiences have improved my ability to work on a team and provided numerous opportunities to refine my public speaking skills. I pride myself on my strong writing ability, and have worked as a copy revisionist on a recently published book.

good.

I am confident that my combination of work and educational experience has prepared me to make an immediate contribution to your team. Additional qualifications can be found in my PD100 Application Form, which is attached. Please call me at (555) 555-5555 or send an email to [removed] to arrange a convenient time when we may further discuss my background in relation to your needs. The opportunity to work for the State of Oregon is very exciting and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

nice, remove the "!" though.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

No I know, but it seems like every time I wrote a cover letter, regardless of the position, the letters were looking too similar. Granted, a lot of the positions I was applying for were similar jobs...

But yeah, I'm trying to really put the company and their needs in the forefront of my mind for all the cover letters that I'm currently working on. And that actually takes a surprising amount of work and effort, since it needs to be truly unique for each position.

I know, but the rate of getting an interview is much higher. If you write a shitty cover letter, and your app goes in the garbage, that is a lot of wasted work and effort. When I was applying for jobs a while back, I would try to only do one per day. After a while, with better cover letter, I was getting more interviews, even through monster.com, which has a shitload of submissions.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

I come from a completely different school of thought when it comes to cover letters. I always figured a cover letter would never get you an interview, but could lose you an interview (in other words no mistakes in the cover letter).

But I like what you did with ABM's cover letter and maybe I have been underestimating the value of cover letters all this time.

Cover letters are a good way for one to explain why one is qualified beyond the simple resume. It makes a lasting impression. When I put an ad on craigslist to hire a secretary, you don't know how many of them didn't even put a cover letter...I didn't even look at those. The ones that spent the time and wrote a letter specific to the position, I got past the second cut.

3rd cut is I myspaced them and invited the hot chicks to come in.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

I've got to add though, many big companies have readers that scan your resumes for key words. Mention those words in the posting within your resume and cover letter if possible.

 

[The_Lillard_King]

I've got to add though, many big companies have readers that scan your resumes for key words. Mention those words in the posting within your resume and cover letter if possible.

That's almost how I read the cover letter and resume (skim them looking for the experiece needed for the position).

I don't have a ton of experience and actually hated when I was assigned to do interivews all day (the worst is going out to lunch and having to kill an hour of small talk). But when I did read them, I would glance through the cover letter (looking for grammer errors) and then plow into the resume. But it is a competitve market and I like all the suggested changes you mentioned (nice of you to take the time BTW).

Again, I'm probably wrong about cover letters as I always thought short and simple.

 

[AgentDrazenPetrovic]

Short and simple works too. I generally kept mine at 2-3 paragraphs max.