Outside opinions needed...Roommate Wars 2010

[DaRizzle]

Not really a war at all...but I just want opinions on something that happens a lot at my residence.

I've known my roommate since high school, been good friends with him since. We have been living together for 4+ years and he has had his current girlfriend for 3 years or so....here is my gripe.....

On average 2+ nights a weeks they will cook a nice dinner, not gourmet, just nice. She is really the cook, he just might do some prep work if that. About 6 months into their relationship I told my roommate privately (paraphrase)"Hey Im always down to chip in some cash for groceries for whenever you guys decide to make dinner."The time it takes to cook for 3 people instead of 2 is virtually the same, so maybe every so often they could invite me to chip in. On top of that when they do cook they make way too much and it sits in tupperware until it spoils in my fridge(my roommate can be lazy at cleaning up). Over this 3+ year period I have NEVER been invited to have dinner with them at my own house. Isn't that a little rude/strange?

They also have baked huge cakes, brownies, all sorts of desserts....never been offered a bit of any of them....they just sit on the counter covered in aluminum until they go stale.

So this is nothing Im gonna bring up with them but I wanted to know if Im expecting too much or are they just rude pricks (you know what I think)

Im not asking for a personal chef or to sit down at all the meals they make....just every so often invite me in on the groceries, fuck Id even pay a little extra since Im not cooking.

3 years...not one invite

 

[44Thrilla]

I can understand him wanting to eat dinner with his girlfriend without you, but he's a douche for not offering you the leftovers.

 

[BoBoBREWSKI]

That's rude of them IMO. At least tell them you are gonna eat the leftovers since they never do.

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Dear Ann Landers:

Not really a war at all...but I just want opinions on something that happens a lot at my residence.

I've known my roommate since high school, been good friends with him since. We have been living together for 4+ years and he has had his current girlfriend for 3 years or so....here is my gripe.....

On average 2+ nights a weeks they will cook a nice dinner, not gourmet, just nice. She is really the cook, he just might do some prep work if that. About 6 months into their relationship I told my roommate privately (paraphrase)"Hey Im always down to chip in some cash for groceries for whenever you guys decide to make dinner."The time it takes to cook for 3 people instead of 2 is virtually the same, so maybe every so often they could invite me to chip in. On top of that when they do cook they make way too much and it sits in tupperware until it spoils in my fridge(my roommate can be lazy at cleaning up). Over this 3+ year period I have NEVER been invited to have dinner with them at my own house. Isn't that a little rude/strange?

They also have baked huge cakes, brownies, all sorts of desserts....never been offered a bit of any of them....they just sit on the counter covered in aluminum until they go stale.

So this is nothing Im gonna bring up with them but I wanted to know if Im expecting too much or are they just rude pricks (you know what I think)

Im not asking for a personal chef or to sit down at all the meals they make....just every so often invite me in on the groceries, fuck Id even pay a little extra since Im not cooking.

3 years...not one invite

fixed

Mind your own business. I think their cooking is "their" time together and just let it go.

 

[julius]

suck his dick, obviously he'll share with you then.

 

[44Thrilla]

or just get a girlfriend of your own.

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Aren't you glad you asked our advice?

 

[The_Lillard_King]

I'm with you on this one Darizzle, they should offer dinner or whatever it is they make.

I say that because he is a good high school friend and a roomate of 4 years that you have raised this issue with him. It seems like if I were roomates with one of my good friends, we would not just be roomates but friends who wants help each other out.

Also, does the girlfirend pay rent? If I had a roomate and had my girl over all the time, I would almost feel obligated to make sure the roomate was comfortable with the scene. Sounds like they are alway using the kitchen, she is probaly around alot, there is extra use of untilitize, use of kitchen supplies, use of space . . . not only should a friend offer, you might be entitled to some meals if girlfirend is using the pad like it's her.

But to avoid conflict . .., why don't you buy a shit load of groceries (groceries they are likely to use for cooking) and stick it in the fridge and cupboards. They are eventually going to ask to borrow some ingredients, really putting them on the spot about never offering any goods. Also creates an opportunity to offer to pay for 50% of groceries if you get to eat cooked meals.

 

[DaRizzle]

I can understand him wanting to eat dinner with his girlfriend without you, but he's a douche for not offering you the leftovers.

absolutely I understand this....The computer Im typing on is right next to the kitchen table so when they have dinner I try to make myself scarce. 90%+ of the time I would be fine with not being offered any....but these arent "dinner dates", they are just making dinner together, its happens WAY too often to be any sort of special event. Its not like Im stranger to her at all...Im very cordial to her.

I understand privacy and how scarce it is with roommates...Im not talking often...maybe get offered once every two or three months...is that so bad?

 

[The_Lillard_King]

absolutely I understand this....The computer Im typing on is right next to the kitchen table so when they have dinner I try to make myself scarce. 90%+ of the time I would be fine with not being offered any....but these arent "dinner dates", they are just making dinner together, its happens WAY too often to be any sort of special event. Its not like Im stranger to her at all...Im very cordial to her.

I understand privacy and how scarce it is with roommates...Im not talking often...maybe get offered once every two or three months...is that so bad?

Knowing you darizzle (as much as you can know someone on this board) . . why don't you just walk by and pick some food off girlfriend's plate in a casual way and compliment the food (hint, hint).

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

absolutely I understand this....The computer Im typing on is right next to the kitchen table so when they have dinner I try to make myself scarce. 90%+ of the time I would be fine with not being offered any....but these arent "dinner dates", they are just making dinner together, its happens WAY too often to be any sort of special event. Its not like Im stranger to her at all...Im very cordial to her.

I understand privacy and how scarce it is with roommates...Im not talking often...maybe get offered once every two or three months...is that so bad?

Why don't you put the ol' moves on her and see where it gets you. Maybe dinner, maybe a threesome- one never knows.

 

[44Thrilla]

Maybe trade your services in the bedroom for their services in the kitchen?

 

[Natebishop3]

How many times have you cooked for them?

I lived with one of my best buddies and he had his girlfriend move in after a couple months. It was weird. Third wheel is not a good place to be. They did the same thing. They cooked all the time I never got invites. Ever. His girlfriend hated me, and I hated her. You might be in the same position. She might not like you.

Honestly, cook something for them and see how they react. See if they appreciate it, or if they brush you off. Maybe they'll offer some up to you after that?

 

[noknobs]

You're a Laker fan... you're always wrong.

 

[Natebishop3]

I will also point out that a woman usually has an agenda. My buddy's gf was in SUPER HIGH NESTING MODE. I was NOT part of her plan, and that's why she didn't want me around. She wanted to get married asap. I just never felt comfortable around the house, and spent most of my time in my room while I was home. The bitch would come home from work and just sit on the couch watching MY tv all night. It's been almost two years and I'm still bitter.....

 

[DaRizzle]

Also, does the girlfirend pay rent? If I had a roomate and had my girl over all the time, I would almost feel obligated to make sure the roomate was comfortable with the scene. Sounds like they are alway using the kitchen, she is probaly around alot, there is extra use of untilitize, use of kitchen supplies, use of space . . . not only should a friend offer, you might be entitled to some meals if girlfirend is using the pad like it's her.

This is the part that sucks and I didnt at first mention because you would all call me a cheapskate....yeah she is here a lot...4-5 days a week. She lives with her parents even though she could fully afford to live on her own (asian culture thing). Having the oven on for 45min at 450 degrees cost money especially 3 times a week, 5-10 extra showers a week costs money, having to tiptoe around my own apartment is annoying. Within the past month she has started staying the night on weekdays......fuck maybe I should ask for some money.


Another unrelated gripe....My roommate has in his bedroom

a 42 LCD TV
PS3
Gaming Computer
High end 5.1 surround sound system
A 2nd amplifier just for these vibration speakers you install INSIDE his love-seat couch in there
2 "cooling fans" just for all the electronics he has in there.

This months electric bill just happened to be our most expensive ever by $25 bucks....should I call him on it? Ugh....

 

[The_Lillard_King]

How many times have you cooked for them?

I lived with one of my best buddies and he had his girlfriend move in after a couple months. It was weird. Third wheel is not a good place to be. They did the same thing. They cooked all the time I never got invites. Ever. His girlfriend hated me, and I hated her. You might be in the same position. She might not like you.

Honestly, cook something for them and see how they react. See if they appreciate it, or if they brush you off. Maybe they'll offer some up to you after that?

I could not deal with that situation.

You can't just bring a chick in as another roomate without the chick getting along with everyone in the house or apartment.
-Man Law-

 

[DaRizzle]

I will also point out that a woman usually has an agenda. My buddy's gf was in SUPER HIGH NESTING MODE. I was NOT part of her plan, and that's why she didn't want me around. She wanted to get married asap. I just never felt comfortable around the house, and spent most of my time in my room while I was home. The bitch would come home from work and just sit on the couch watching MY tv all night. It's been almost two years and I'm still bitter.....

My college roommate gave his psycho (literally, but thats another story) girlfriend a key to our apartment even though she didnt live there....I would come home from school to see her in my living room, watching my tv, and worst of all she was watching MTV road rules....At the time I didnt hate any show like I did that one...

...One day after they broke up she was screaming/crying and banging on our front door when my roommate wasnt home.......I let her have it.... You know after some sort of confrontation you think to yourself " Oh, I should have said "fill in the blank"......That day was not one of those days my friends, I said everything harsh thing I ever wanted to say to her perfectly...not a flinch, not a stutter....It was beautiful...The look on her face the nanosecond before I slammed the door in her face was priceless

 

[DaRizzle]

You're a Laker fan... you're always wrong.

He is too....just not as much as me

 

[44Thrilla]

I think anybody who has had a roommate has a roommate's girlfriend from hell story. I know I do. Very similar to NateBishop's.

 

[DaRizzle]

How many times have you cooked for them?

Thats a great question you asked there...The answer would be never, but then again cooking isnt a hobby of mine. She enjoys cooking, its one of her things...She gets excited when reading recipes....

As a joke Ive though of doing some crazy gormet meal prepared in our kitchen after I see they were planning on using it. .....nah

All the time when I get the itch to bbq Ill call my roommate and see if he wants anything from the store too...or Ill call when Im on my way home but about to pick up food from some restaurant

 

[DaRizzle]

why do I feel Im just getting hated on in the poll whether Im right or wrong

 

[noknobs]

He is too....just not as much as me

I was kidding anyway, but that does make it more complicated.

I think his actions sound pretty selfish. I've been through it all with roommates, and the best advice I can give you is to just talk to him about it, politely. Holding in simmering resentment usually doesn't do anyone any good. He's probably not even aware you care about it this much. Just communicate. If that doesn't improve matters, maybe it's time to find a new roommmate.

 

[Mamba]

I think you're in the wrong for not taking the leftovers! Grow a sack, Pau!

Naw, fucked up they don't even invite. Even more fucked up he doesn't offer leftovers. I think you should cook a shit load of food and not invite them :]

 

[Rodolfo]

It's been bothering your for this long and you've never talked to him about it?

Next time you see him, ask him about it.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Complement his gf on her cooking and ask her if you can "pitch in and join them" for dinner. To get things started buy all of the ingredients for a meal and ask her to show you how she fixes ____________ . Rave about it after she fixes __________ . Tell her you are trying to stop eating like a bachelor and wants to eat healthy like they do. Ask her to help you in this.

If this works don't eat every meal with them that she fixes. Take your plate to your room or the couch every other time so they have some privacy.


If that doesn't work place a couple of cockroaches in the kitchen right before she starts fixing dinner so they take their dinner making to her house.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Live your own life, son!

Cooking a nice sit-down dinner is probably "their thing".

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

the real answer is you're in love with your roomate and you want some tubesteak swimmin' in underwear for dinner.

 

[DaRizzle]

It's been bothering your for this long and you've never talked to him about it?

Next time you see him, ask him about it.

I dont think it my place to ASK to be invited....I mentioned it twice a while back that Im down to chip in on groceries, he knows Im interested...Im not gonna force anybody to be "nice"....Ive come to realize my roommate is selfish, I just try to ignore it.

Example: When he had an HIS LCD tv in the livingroom he would claim it as if he was a 5 year old. I would be watching tv in the living room and he would just grab the remote without saying the word and change the channel. I'd say wtf and he would rationalize it by saying its his TV so he can use it whenever he wants.

He amazingly also pulled this shit when 4+ mutual friends were over to watch a Laker game. When I put the Dodger game on the 32" tube TV (yes, 2 tvs in living room) so we could start the lakers game we had already delayed for an hour on tivo he freaked out. "My TV and I want to watch the dodger game! on MY TV"

150+ times a year he would watch a full 3+ hour Dodger game and then play another 4+ hours of video game baseball.

I finally got a bigger LCD to justify taking his out of the living room so I can watch TV in my own fucking house.

When he had thrown those temper tantrums in the past I told him "fine, take over YOUR TV but sit on the fucking floor (I own the furniture)

 

[DaRizzle]

Live your own life, son!

Cooking a nice sit-down dinner is probably "their thing".

yeah I do...except they are ALWAYS in my life whether I want them to be or not