Natebishop3
Don't tread on me!
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
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I can't remember how old your daughter is but if you haven't already you will soon enough have to explain to her about good touches and bad touches. When you explain that to a kid you have to keep the message clear so it is easily understood. You don't teach a little kid that grandpa bad touches are worse than mailman bad touches. In her limited understanding of the world, she's not going to grasp your adult rationalizations or the degrees of violation she might suffer.
If god forbid your daughter was abused you wouldn't turn to your wife and say thank god it was a stranger and not your brother. Because no matter who abused your daughter it would be equally as horrific as you guided and helped in her healing.
No matter who abused your daughter, as a loving parent your reaction to it is going to be the same. If, as might be in this case, a parent is part of the problem and others have to step in, their response in helping her heal is going to be the same whether the girl knew or didn't know her abuser.
If you had to get help for your daughter you're not going to accept some arbitrary ranking by your insurance company that she gets only 5 counseling sessions because she was raped by a stranger but if she had been raped by a family member she would get 10 counseling sessions.
We're talking about 10yr old little girl. Someone who has a limited understanding of what has happened to her and even a more limited understanding of why her body is reacting to it like it is. In my opinion, there is no degree of horrific to this.
I guess we're just going to disagree, but I leave you with this...
When my daughter is hurt or upset she runs to mom and dad. We are her comfort and safety. Who does she run to for comfort and safety if it's the parents who committed the violation of trust?
I get that you're saying that all rape is bad, but you can't tell me that the trauma of a parent being involved isn't going to have a different impact to her than if it's a stranger. I just can't agree with that.