Undescended testicle

[mook]

So my 3 year old goes in for surgery Friday for an undescended testicle. He's got one big nut, whereas most little boys have two smaller ones. If only one descends I understand you basically get an oversized testicle to compensate. But ideally you want both. So you kind of force the other one down. From the way the surgeon describes it, it sounds like a fairly simple procedure. Although I guess if it were my own balls I'd feel differently.

Sometimes the other nut just vanishes. You can still grow up to reproduce, though. But the weird thing is that you can have surgery in your pre-teen years to have a saline artificial testicle implanted.

Yes, a cosmetic ball.

So I guess I just find the idea of that fucking funny as hell. I can't laugh about it with the wife because, well, our son is going into surgery and everything. So I thought I'd share it here.

 

[Sug]

That sounds nuts.

 

[tlongII]

Good luck to your son! It makes me squeamish just thinking about the procedure... Yeesh!

 

[PapaG]

Good luck to your son. Make sure he gets a new, brassy ball.

 

[julius]

So that means when he's kicked in the nard(s), he'll stand a 50/50 chance of becoming instantly sick to his stomach and in incredible pain.

 

[mook]

Thanks everybody. I kind of wonder what'll happen to The Big Ball if the other one descends properly. Will it sort of shrink down to fit in over time, or will he always have Hulk Nut?

 

[julius]

When this thread runs its course, you should print it out and save it. So that way, when your boy hits his most awkward puberty stage, you can show it to him when he's around his friends.

 

[THE HCP]

Get him a fake one! Went to HS with a guy who we found out had 1 nut and everybody called him One-y!

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Get him a fake one! Went to HS with a guy who we found out had 1 nut and everybody called him One-y!

In college I had some summer job and there was a guy on the crew who had half a sack and we used to say to him that he was really working his ball off.

 

[mook]

Get him a fake one! Went to HS with a guy who we found out had 1 nut and everybody called him One-y!

One-y? I don't get it.

Meh, I think every kid gets teased about something. It's not about being so completely flawless that you are invulnerable to teasing. It's about having the inner strength to know that people are laughing because they want to feel connected to other people. So laugh with them, and then somehow convince them to pick on some other jerk.

 

[mook]

In college I had some summer job and there was a guy on the crew who had half a sack and we used to say to him that he was really working his ball off.

Awesome.

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Meh, I think every kid gets teased about something. It's not about being so completely flawless that you are invulnerable to teasing. It's about having the inner strength to know that people are laughing because they want to feel connected to other people. So laugh with them, and then somehow convince them to pick on some other jerk.

Or, kick them in the descended nut. That takes care of it too.

 

[maxiep]

Two words: Lance. Armstrong.

Good luck to your boy.

 

[andalusian]

Hope this all works out. I know the idea is "amusing" - but surgery for little people is never fun, until it's all over. Good luck and hope he is safe home soon.

 

[PapaG]

"Undescended Testicle" has a certain literary flair to it.

Ode to Mook's Son

Undescended Testicle
Don't become a spectacle
Jingle jangle like a real one
For the girls you still should be fun

Undescended Testicle
Science is a miracle
Thank you for the big fake ball
I hope the girls enjoy it all

 

[PapaG]

Hope this all works out. I know the idea is "amusing" - but surgery for little people is never fun, until it's all over. Good luck and hope he is safe home soon.

No doubt. I've had my own issues with kids/procedures, but sometimes, finding the lighter side of things helps the coping process.

 

[VanillaGorilla]

PapaG I just repped you so hard.

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

"Undescended Testicle" has a certain literary flair to it.

Ode to Mook's Son

Undescended Testicle
Don't become a spectacle
Jingle jangle like a real one
For the girls you still should be fun

Undescended Testicle
Science is a miracle
Thank you for the big fake ball
I hope the girls enjoy it all

Rep'd.

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Two words: Lance. Armstrong.

Good luck to your boy.

Despite my crude humor, I also want to say that I hope that all works out well.

 

[mook]

Thanks guys. When he was born he had to spend the first half day of his life in intensive care because he wasn't breathing right. Then when he was 18 mos my 11 year old niece who was baby sitting him had to give him the Heimlich because he was choking on a piece of ham.

So I guess after two pretty terrifying scrapes I'm not as nervous about this one.

 

[Colonel Ronan]

Good luck, my friend! My balls are fucking gigantic.

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Good luck, my friend! My balls are fucking gigantic.

According to your avitar, you only have one.

 

[bluefrog]

"Undescended Testicle" has a certain literary flair to it.

Ode to Mook's Son

Undescended Testicle
Don't become a spectacle
Jingle jangle like a real one
For the girls you still should be fun

Undescended Testicle
Science is a miracle
Thank you for the big fake ball
I hope the girls enjoy it all

You're the S2 Maya Angelou

 

[Sex Panther]

According to your avitar, you only have one.

i lol'd

repped.

 

[Nate4Prez]

[video=youtube;NmDJvDOWjZU]

 

[Colonel Ronan]

According to your avitar, you only have one.

Wait, what were you saying?

 

[mook]

Got back from surgery. Boy is fine, but his other testicle never developed. So he must carry on with one very large ball.

Our surgeon says he can do sports still, but should wear a cup. Unlike most of us, all his eggs are in one basket, so he can't overcome a Przybilla-like whack to the nads and still have offspring.

Except water polo. Apparently it's a common tactic in waterpolo to yank your opponent's nutsack to gain advantage, so that's a bad idea for him. Or any guy, if you want my opinion.

 

[Ed O]

I'm glad that the surgery went well, man.

Ed O.

 

[maxiep]

Got back from surgery. Boy is fine, but his other testicle never developed. So he must carry on with one very large ball.

Our surgeon says he can do sports still, but should wear a cup. Unlike most of us, all his eggs are in one basket, so he can't overcome a Przybilla-like whack to the nads and still have offspring.

Except water polo. Apparently it's a common tactic in waterpolo to yank your opponent's nutsack to gain advantage, so that's a bad idea for him. Or any guy, if you want my opinion.

Sorry that he's Lance Armstrong, but I'm relieved to hear he came through the surgery okay. It's amazing to me after the birth of my own son how much more the health problems of other children hit me. You should purchase the album "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" and use a Sharpie to eliminate the "s" on "Big Ball(s)". Your son can sing that song in the singular and sing it with pride, knowing he has the biggest ball around.

 

[julius]

You'd also have to change the lyric on a Pink Floyd song.

Mother do you think they'll try to break my ball....