OT Who Should Get Each Job if Paul Allen Cleaned House and Replaced Everyone w/ S2 Members?!

[hoopsjock]

@BonesJones I'm kinda surprised your list didn't have you doing most of the jobs.

 

[riverman]

@BonesJones I'm kinda surprised your list didn't have you doing most of the jobs.

folks we have a winner!

 

[BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94]

Front Office:
President: @SlyPokerDog
GM: @BrianFromWA
Assistant GM: @TBpup
CBA Expert: @42N8Bounce
Head of Statistics/Analytics: @Boob-No-More
Head of Marketing: @Darkwebs
Chief Ambassador: @KingSpeed
Head of Security: @bodyman5000 and 1
Head of Scouting: @BonesJones
Head of International Scouting: @Fez Von Savage

Coaching:
Head Coach: @MarAzul
Big Man Coach: @HCP
Other Assistants: @Strenuus @Daweez04 @Fonzthecpt1
Head of Player Development: @Rastapopoulos

 

[dead247]

Comic relief clown = me. Ya know, to make everyone else feel better about themselves, cuz they're not me.

Current roster can scrimmage against me and succeed with ease always b/c I'm a scrub, frail, pushover!

Oh wait, mascot! Blaze the cat?!

 

[BonesJones]

I'll be lead assistant. We will need someone to take over after the head coach is fired first month into the season.

Savage.

 

[Labinot41]

Give me the GM and i bring Kevin Durant and LeBron James to Portland

 

[hoopsjock]

Give me the GM and i bring Kevin Durant and LeBron James to Portland

No wonder you have such unrealistic expectations.

 

[SportsAndWhine]

Front Office:
President: @SlyPokerDog
GM: @BrianFromWA
Assistant GM: @TBpup
CBA Expert: @42N8Bounce
Head of Statistics/Analytics: @Boob-No-More
Head of Marketing: @Darkwebs
Chief Ambassador: @KingSpeed
Head of Security: @bodyman5000 and 1
Head of Scouting: @BonesJones
Head of International Scouting: @Fez Von Savage

Coaching:
Head Coach: @MarAzul
Big Man Coach: @HCP
Other Assistants: @Strenuus @Daweez04 @Fonzthecpt1
Head of Player Development: @Rastapopoulos

This is all great but does MarAzul know there's a shot clock and you can dribble the ball now?

 

[BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94]

This is all great but does MarAzul know there's a shot clock and you can dribble the ball now?

No, but the ball movement will be phenomenal.

 

[Chris Craig]

Front Office:
President: @SlyPokerDog
GM: @PtldPlatypus
Assistant GM:
CBA Expert:
Head of Statistics/Analytics: @Boob-No-More
Head of Marketing: @Darkwebs
Chief Ambassador:
Head of Security: @bodyman5000 and 1 @Strenuus
Head of Scouting:
Head of International Scouting:

Coaching:
Head Coach: @BonesJones
Big Man Coach: @Chris Craig
Other Assistants:
Head of Player Development:

Other:
Waterboy(s): @Portland2014
Ballboy(s):

Bench riding comedian #1: Me
Bench riding comedian #2: @HCP
Bench riding comedian #3: @jlprk


(To be continued...)

Big man coach, I like that

 

[BlayZa]

i could be APAC talent scout. could also place a call into steven adams and see if he could force a S&T for evan turner and meyers.

i would go down in history as the best fan of all time if that happened btw.

 

[CupWizier]

Savage.

I call it being a realist. ​

 

[Mediocre Man]

I'm not on any lists, so fuck everyone

 

[PtldPlatypus]

I'm not on any lists, so fuck everyone

I'll make you my head of scouting. I like pizza.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

I'm not on any lists, so fuck everyone

Uhhh

 

[dviss1]

Me: Referee consultant

 

[Rastapopoulos]

Barfo for all of them.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

Front Office:
President: @Nikolokolus
GM: @Portland2014
Assistant GM: @Gronk Brady
CBA Expert: @BrianFromWA
Head of Statistics/Analytics: @TBpup
Head of Marketting: @HAAK72
Chief Ambassador: @Chris Craig
Head of Security: @CupWizier (and his squirrel army)
Head of Scouting: @Mediocre Man
Head of International Scouting: @Rastapopoulos
Head of G-League Scouting: @jlprk

Coaching:
Head Coach: @BonesJones
Big Man Coach: @swish3
Other Assistants: @dviss1 @LayneStaley @LuckyShot
Head of Player Development: @Scalma

Other:
Waterboy(s): @riverman
Ballboy(s): @HCP

 

[Chris Craig]

Front Office:
President: @Denny Crane
GM: @SlyPokerDog
Assistant GM: @PtldPlatypus
CBA Expert: @barfo
Head of Statistics/Analytics: @TBpup
Head of Marketting: @Darkwebs @HAAK72
Chief Ambassador: @KingSpeed
Head of Security: @Strenuus
Security: @bodyman5000 and 1
Head of Scouting: @JDC @Mediocre Man
Head of International Scouting: @BrunoSOC

Coaching:
Head Coach: @BonesJones
Big Man Coach: @BlazerWookee
Guard Coach: Me
Other Assistants: @Orion Bailey @CupWizier @BBert
Head of Player Development: @Scalma
Referee Consultant: @dviss1
Blazer Dancer Consultants: All S2 members interested
Mrs. HCP Consultants: All S2 members alternate
Alcohol and Food Consultants: @BLAZINGGIANTS and @theprunetang

Other:
Waterboy(s): @HCP
Ballboy(s): @HCP

I hire all the best people, the best! Believe me.

* @riverman retired

 

[riverman]

Front Office:
President: @Nikolokolus
GM: @Portland2014
Assistant GM: @Gronk Brady
CBA Expert: @BrianFromWA
Head of Statistics/Analytics: @TBpup
Head of Marketting: @HAAK72
Chief Ambassador: @Chris Craig
Head of Security: @CupWizier (and his squirrel army)
Head of Scouting: @Mediocre Man
Head of International Scouting: @Rastapopoulos
Head of G-League Scouting: @jlprk

Coaching:
Head Coach: @BonesJones
Big Man Coach: @swish3
Other Assistants: @dviss1 @LayneStaley @LuckyShot
Head of Player Development: @Scalma

Other:
Waterboy(s): @riverman
Ballboy(s): @HCP

I demand to be titled Waterman....not Waterboy!

 

[BBert]

I demand to be titled Waterman....not Waterboy!

Yeah, like you drink water.

 

[riverman]

Yeah, like you drink water.

when the ice melts it's sort of like drinking water...just alcohol flavored water

 

[noknobs]

The thought of some of these picks being reality will give me nightmares for years to come.

 

[riverman]

The thought of some of these picks being reality will give me nightmares for years to come.

Just think of Greg Oden and Nolan Smith and it makes it better

 

[THE HCP]

I'm not on any lists, so fuck everyone

Team Social Media Manager

 

[riverman]

I think Bones should replace free throw guy

 

[BBert]

Front Office:
President: Me
GM: Boob-No-More
CBA/Cap Expert: StoryTeller
Head of Statistics/Analytics: BrianFromWA
Head of Marketing: DarkWingDuck
Twitter/Facebook Guy: SlySarcasticDog
Audio/Video Nerd: The HCP
Media Relations: NateBishop
Head of Security: MickZagger
Domestic Scouting Team: RipCityTwo
International Scouting Team: Rasta/Fez

Coaching:
Head Coach: Mediocre Man
Crotchety Old Assistant Coach: MarAzul
Big Man Coach: Dviss
Shooting Coach: BonesJones

Other:
Waterboy(s): Adam Sandler
Ballboy(s): BGD

 

[riverman]

As long as we're passing out Blazer positions and jobs.....I want Paul Allen's job and money....I'd wine and dine all the stars on my yacht...Portland would become the prefered destination of the best players on the planet. I'd immediately sell the Seahawks to some wealthy farmer in Iowa and relocate the team to Des Moines...the Seahawks would then be renamed the Corndogs

 

[riverman]

HCP can use his old costume as El Fuego!
View attachment 20376

We need a mascot Rolo can't pick up and carry around

 

[BrianFromWA]

As long as we're passing out Blazer positions and jobs.....I want Paul Allen's job and money....I'd wine and dine all the stars on my yacht...Portland would become the prefered destination of the best players on the planet. I'd immediately sell the Seahawks to some wealthy farmer in Iowa and relocate the team to Des Moines...the Seahawks would then be renamed the Corndogs

I like laundry, but I'm not sure I'd root for the Iowa City Monsantos anymore...

BTW, appreciate the love in this thread. Though between GM/Cap Guru/Analytics/etc, I'm beginning to think you guys think I'm a nerd...