OT "I'm Dealing With A Few Transgender Issues"

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YamTastic said:
Just getting this out there because I think it's vaguely interesting and relevant to the discussion...

A timeline of when I almost figured it out:
8 years old - Felt wrong in my body, like I was monstrous, too big and too clumsy, not feminine. I put that feeling in a box and kept it out of sight.
10 years old - first suicide attempt, really clumsy and easily thwarted.
14 years old - when I closed my eyes I could imagine the "shape of my soul" as a girl's. I put that feeling in a box and kept it out of sight.
18 years old - unironically said I felt like I was a lesbian to my roommate. I put that feeling in a box and kept it out of sight.
19 years old - join Blazers List Talk, annoy the hell out of Ed O because I'm jealous he's smarter than me.
23 years old - second suicide attempt, less clumsy, but narrowly thwarted.
28 years old - An online friend came out as trans; she told me she didn't think I was trans. I put that feeling in a box and kept it out of sight.
38 years old - I couldn't look myself in the mirror for five straight days and wanted to kill myself, so I opened the box.

The goal, if I'm being frank and honest, is to reduce the number of suicide attempts but reducing the amount of almost figuring it out. I didn't figure it out because by the time I understood what trans even was, I'd compartmentalized my feelings so much and papered them over with Being A Good Son, that I had a ten year task of ripping that down. If I'd figured it out at 14, it wouldn't have mattered because I would have had no access to any drugs or surgery in 1991. But it's not 1991, it's 2022. There are treatments and medicine, and they can stop a less clumsy person from succeeding where I failed twice.

If Alex is expressing things, it's because the words are there, and the concepts are known. It doesn't matter if Alex finds sexual gratification in breasts; that literally changes nothing, and if Alex's father thinks or hopes it does, and is insisting that's just good normal teenage boy behavior, then all he's doing is helping Alex shovel feelings into a box and taping it over with Being A Good Son.
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You've come to the right place because I'm quite certain that we all care and I am near the top of that list. Just a little support from me. Now I see why so many members in here like you.
 
My uncle used to have a few transgender issues...

in his "hidden" playboy box. He had a playboy subscription for years and hid the box in the garage.

Of course when I (about 12yrs old) happened upon it I stole the first one I could get my hands on.

Imagine my surprise when I figured out later that one of the models was transgender...

Some deep soul searching ensued...
 
Phatguysrule said:
My uncle used to have a few transgender issues...

in his "hidden" playboy box. He had a playboy subscription for years and hid the box in the garage.

Of course when I (about 12yrs old) happened upon it I stole the first one I could get my hands on.

Imagine my surprise when I figured out later that one of the models was transgender...

Some deep soul searching ensued...
Click to expand...

It's a common joke, having to look deep into your damaged soul after looking on a trans woman's body, because in your mind, somehow a beautiful person is made repulsive by circumstances of their birth and the steps they took to overcome them.

All of the most beautiful people I know are trans, but this isn't unexpected; we love others who remind us of the parts of ourselves we love. I love that I am trans, and so I love trans bodies. I know some cis people who have trans partners in loving relationships; despite the odds, almost 20% of marriages thrive after a transition. Women who thought they were straight find out they were bisexual when their partners transition, and I think it might be because they see reflected in their partner a love of womanhood they have as well. My ex hates most aspects of womanhood, and became very uncomfortable when her partner began reveling in it. I think it's how a lot of radical feminists become trans-exclusionary; they see trans women as defiling the inherent suffering of womanhood by choosing to and embracing it and enjoying it.

Anyway, I put this here because I thought your joke sucked and I wanted to try and elevate it a little.
 
YamTastic said:
It's a common joke, having to look deep into your damaged soul after looking on a trans woman's body, because in your mind, somehow a beautiful person is made repulsive by circumstances of their birth and the steps they took to overcome them.

All of the most beautiful people I know are trans, but this isn't unexpected; we love others who remind us of the parts of ourselves we love. I love that I am trans, and so I love trans bodies. I know some cis people who have trans partners in loving relationships; despite the odds, almost 20% of marriages thrive after a transition. Women who thought they were straight find out they were bisexual when their partners transition, and I think it might be because they see reflected in their partner a love of womanhood they have as well. My ex hates most aspects of womanhood, and became very uncomfortable when her partner began reveling in it. I think it's how a lot of radical feminists become trans-exclusionary; they see trans women as defiling the inherent suffering of womanhood by choosing to and embracing it and enjoying it.

Anyway, I put this here because I thought your joke sucked and I wanted to try and elevate it a little.
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Sorry about that, it wasn't intended as a slight on her.
No, she was incredibly beautiful, but at 12 years old it did cause me to to question my decision making. Like, don't help yourself to stuff you don't understand...
 
Phatguysrule said:
Sorry about that, it wasn't intended as a slight on her.
No, she was incredibly beautiful, but at 12 years old it did cause me to to question my decision making. Like, don't help yourself to stuff you don't understand...
Click to expand...

Buddy, trust me, I know that pain! I dug into my dad's sock drawer at 9 and pulled out His Special Polaroids
 
3 things......

1-I went back and looked at years of @crandc 's posts and she has NEVER made me cookies STILL!
2-I've never been called a racist.
3-My only transgender issue would be if I could change my name to FAMS or not?
 
I just got over here to Washington DC. Never been here before. I’m taking a class for the week.
The school here has gender neutral bathrooms. Seriously no urinal stations.
Caught me off guard a bit. I can deal with it but I must say it was a bit different.
 
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I really like single stall gender neutral restrooms a lot of San Francisco restaurants have.
 
Fairly-Hard said:
I just got over here to Washington DC. Never been here before. I’m taking a class for the week.
The school here has gender neutral bathrooms. Seriously no urinal stations.
Caught me off guard a bit. I can deal with it but I must say it was a bit different.
Click to expand...

Be sure to put the lid down following.
 
Phatguysrule said:
My uncle used to have a few transgender issues...

in his "hidden" playboy box. He had a playboy subscription for years and hid the box in the garage.

Of course when I (about 12yrs old) happened upon it I stole the first one I could get my hands on.

Imagine my surprise when I figured out later that one of the models was transgender...

Some deep soul searching ensued...
Click to expand...
When I was ten Playboy first came out. Us kids used to look in awe at them. Then the place that carried them told us not to look at them. We would get magazine like Field and Stream and place the Playboy inside so we could look at it without being bothered. They then put them under the counter and made the customer request it so that was the end of that. Before that my same age cousin started the Bad Boys Club which had three members, him, me and my little brother. His father had some cheap photography magazines that we would steal and peruse in our club. Those magazines only had women bare breasted printed on ultra cheap paper. But adult women who were bare breasted was still a thrill.
 
THE HCP said:
3 things......

1-I went back and looked at years of @crandc 's posts and she has NEVER made me cookies STILL!
2-I've never been called a racist.
3-My only transgender issue would be if I could change my name to FAMS or not?
Click to expand...

Talk about the holy trinity.
 
YamTastic said:
Just getting this out there because I think it's vaguely interesting and relevant to the discussion...

A timeline of when I almost figured it out:
8 years old - Felt wrong in my body, like I was monstrous, too big and too clumsy, not feminine. I put that feeling in a box and kept it out of sight.
10 years old - first suicide attempt, really clumsy and easily thwarted.
14 years old - when I closed my eyes I could imagine the "shape of my soul" as a girl's. I put that feeling in a box and kept it out of sight.
18 years old - unironically said I felt like I was a lesbian to my roommate. I put that feeling in a box and kept it out of sight.
19 years old - join Blazers List Talk, annoy the hell out of Ed O because I'm jealous he's smarter than me.
23 years old - second suicide attempt, less clumsy, but narrowly thwarted.
28 years old - An online friend came out as trans; she told me she didn't think I was trans. I put that feeling in a box and kept it out of sight.
38 years old - I couldn't look myself in the mirror for five straight days and wanted to kill myself, so I opened the box.

The goal, if I'm being frank and honest, is to reduce the number of suicide attempts but reducing the amount of almost figuring it out. I didn't figure it out because by the time I understood what trans even was, I'd compartmentalized my feelings so much and papered them over with Being A Good Son, that I had a ten year task of ripping that down. If I'd figured it out at 14, it wouldn't have mattered because I would have had no access to any drugs or surgery in 1991. But it's not 1991, it's 2022. There are treatments and medicine, and they can stop a less clumsy person from succeeding where I failed twice.

If Alex is expressing things, it's because the words are there, and the concepts are known. It doesn't matter if Alex finds sexual gratification in breasts; that literally changes nothing, and if Alex's father thinks or hopes it does, and is insisting that's just good normal teenage boy behavior, then all he's doing is helping Alex shovel feelings into a box and taping it over with Being A Good Son.
Click to expand...

So here is my question....

Do you think that this has something to do with biology, or do you think it's something more spiritual? You mentioned "the shape of your soul" and I'm genuinely curious if our souls could be inherently male or female...

I'm not really religious, but I believe that there's something.... I like the idea of the force.... I believe we definitely have an energy. I believe all living things do. I refuse to accept that my dog is just an animal. He has a personality. He has a soul... whatever that means... I'm going to miss him terribly when he's gone (which will unfortunately be very very soon.)

I have always wondered about what makes us different.... how much of what makes us who we are is from our upbringing and how much are we just born with.
 
Natebishop3 said:
So here is my question....

Do you think that this has something to do with biology, or do you think it's something more spiritual? You mentioned "the shape of your soul" and I'm genuinely curious if our souls could be inherently male or female...

I'm not really religious, but I believe that there's something.... I like the idea of the force.... I believe we definitely have an energy. I believe all living things do. I refuse to accept that my dog is just an animal. He has a personality. He has a soul... whatever that means... I'm going to miss him terribly when he's gone (which will unfortunately be very very soon.)

I have always wondered about what makes us different.... how much of what makes us who we are is from our upbringing and how much are we just born with.
Click to expand...

Great post, great questions.
 
Of course animals, at least those with a certain amount of brain, have personalities.
Not quite an accurate term since they aren't persons.
Every cat who had owned me has been unique.
 
Fairly-Hard said:
I just got over here to Washington DC. Never been here before. I’m taking a class for the week.
The school here has gender neutral bathrooms. Seriously no urinal stations.
Caught me off guard a bit. I can deal with it but I must say it was a bit different.
Click to expand...
All new schools are like that now. Every school in Portland that has been remodeled in the past 5 years is that way.
 
Fairly-Hard said:
Really? I didn’t know that?
Click to expand...
Yessir. At least in Portland. PIL high schools. First time I went to a basketball game at the kids school after their big remodel, it took me by surprise. No doors into the bathrooms. Right there in the hallway. Once you walk in, you can see about 15 individual stalls with doors floor to ceiling. Like little rooms. Only thing they actually share are sinks to wash hands.
 
THE HCP said:
Yessir. At least in Portland. PIL high schools. First time I went to a basketball game at the kids school after their big remodel, it took me by surprise. No doors into the bathrooms. Right there in the hallway. Once you walk in, you can see about 15 individual stalls with doors floor to ceiling. Like little rooms. Only thing they actually share are sinks to wash hands.
Click to expand...
Urinals are so much faster though....
 
Carlson Lobs Transphobic Attacks At Adm. Rachel Levine Over 'Woman Of The Year' Honor
“Levine is a fake admiral and, we’re told, a woman," the Fox News host said, denigrating the nation's first openly transgender admiral.

Fox New host Tucker Carlson lobbed transphobic attacks against four-star Adm. Rachel Levine on his show Tuesday night, questioning why the nation’s highest-ranking transgender official was honored as a “woman of the year” and calling her a “fake admiral.”

Carlson’s segment came after USA Today dubbed Levine one of its Women of the Year for her role during the COVID-19 pandemic. Other honorees included Melinda French Gates and Simone Biles. Levine, a physician, is the assistant secretary for health at the Department of Health and Human Services and leads a group of 6,000 uniformed public health officers. She was sworn in as a four-star admiral of the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps in October, only the sixth person to be named as such in the corps’ history.

Levine is also the first female four-star admiral and first openly transgender four-star admiral, achievements hailed by civil rights groups and in the USA Today honor.

Carlson and his guest Candace Owens disagreed.

“A biological man called Rachel Levine is at the very top of the list,” the host declared Tuesday, going on to say: “Levine is a fake admiral and, we’re told, a woman.”

“If Rachel Levine can declare ‘I’m a woman,’ then why can’t I declare that I’m Samoan and demand that you respect me?” he continued. “Why can’t I be whatever I want to be?”

The false comparison feeds into transphobic tropes and perpetuates myths about transgender people. Intentional misgendering can also cause harm and create unsafe environments for transgender people.

Fox News did not immediately reply to HuffPost’s request for comment on Carlson’s comments.

Carlson has lambasted Levine before, saying the Biden administration had “gone crazy” for recognizing her long career in public service.

“It is ridiculous. Sorry, not playing along,” the Fox News host said in October. “But they don’t think it is. And so you have to ask yourself, how long will it be before Joe Biden appoints his horse to the Supreme Court?”

Levine told USA Today this week that her philosophy throughout her career was simply having “compassion for others and to help others to serve,” adding she feels everything she’s done before the pandemic “has all led to this moment in terms of helping the nation through this greatest public health crisis that we have faced in over a hundred years.”

“You have to be true to yourself and I think that you have to be who you are,” she told the newspaper when asked about her own journey of self-acceptance. “You have tremendous worth just for who you are, no matter who you love, no matter who you are, no matter what your gender identity, sexual orientation or anything else, and to be, be true to that. And then everything else will follow.”

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tuck...7b27ae3?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter
 
THE HCP said:
All new schools are like that now. Every school in Portland that has been remodeled in the past 5 years is that way.
Click to expand...

This is good. This is very good. I saw today that Nike is remodeling this way in their public buildings (the cafeterias on campus etc).
 
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