Please understand I mean no disrespect but I'm trying to wrap my head around this to an extent.
I obviously do not understand what it's like to be you, nor do you understand what it's like to be me. I do put forth an effort to try to understand why other people (including you) react to certain situations the way they do. To Empathize, and do my best to understand, but I think(?) we would all say we can't know for sure exactly how someone else perceives a situation, or how their neurons clicked to make a reaction to the perception.
The second part is really what I find interesting, and maybe I need to your help to educate me here. I generally just try to see people as people. I'm not blind, I know you're black man, and I know some guys are brown, or orange as well, but ultimately I think of you as a human, as a person, and your skin color, sex, world views, etc are all secondary to that. If that makes sense. I'm not sure I'm understanding that I should look at a Black man and think, oh that's a Black guy, my first thought would be oh that's a person.
When you say you choose how you want to be seen, isn't that only partially true, you can make a lot of choices for how people will perceive you, however, many people, in this case, racists will see you a certain way no matter what you do?