Ill attack this, because this relates to an internal family issue I have.
Basically my sister and I are practically on non speaking terms even though I love her four children. The problem is, She is a lazy, jobless mother who cant get organized, prioritized and teach her children any type of responsibility.
I have criticized her many many timers, trying to let her know in different ways how unhappy I am.
The only rebuttal I get from her OR my mother is why cant I just love them for who they are. Why do I have to be so hard on them? Well the reason is this...
I know I will end up supporting the two youngest children here soon as she becomes homeless. So not only am I harping on her because Im not really interested in becoming a foster parent, but she is my Sister!! I love her!!! I want her to be better!!!. If I didn't care, I wouldn't say shit.....
Those who are fragile, thin skinned, etc, cant handle criticism and get most butt hurt when it comes from those who they know. They think their friends, family, acquaintances, etc, think nothing of them, when its actually the opposite. The reason we are kicking you in your ass is because we care. Now get off your ass, grow some balls and become productive!!!!
Chzbrgr is absolutely right.
The key is talking shit. Are you doing it to those around your friend or to your friend? If you respect your friend you tell them to their face. If you dont, then you spread the rumors and them....
I am an east coast, in your face type of guy. Tell it to me like it is please... who gives a shit about my feelings.....
I wish more were like that....