The official Jusuf Nurkic facts thread

[RipCityDSCPL]

Nurkic once told his girlfriend her clothes made her look fat. She thanked him for his honesty

......I feel like there is something missing.....

.............

.........hmmmmm..... Oh I know!

...and walked around naked for the rest of her life.

Your welcome.

 

[dviss1]

Nurk invented a language that incorporates boxing and roundhouse kicks.
So next time Jusuf is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

 

[dviss1]

Google won't search for Nurkic because it knows you don't find Nurkic, he finds you.

 

[dviss1]

Jusuf Nurkic is never late. Time just understands that it needs to settle the fuck down...

 

[Reep]

Obviously the Plumlee-to-Denver deal was actually orchestrated by the US military as deployment of their Pacific Missile Defense Strategy (since we all know Olshey was only interested in the draft pick).

Ah, a Nurklear deterrent. Can't wait to see him go Nurklear in a game.

 

[PDXFonz]

Jusuf Nurkic is never late. Time just understands that it needs to settle the fuck down...

Nurkic's son is Father Time.

 

[Minstrel]

Nurkic once played basketball so well, he got paid for it.

 

[dviss1]

For most, the left testicle is larger than the right one.

For Nurkic, each testicle is larger than the other one.

 

[dviss1]

Life gave Nurkic lemons, the MF made orange juice!

 

[stampedehero]

This one's a little off color...read at your discretion.

Nurk's dad took him to the brothel on Nurk's 14th birthday because he thought it was time to make him a man.


14 children ages 8 or less walked up to Jusuf and said "hi dad"

AARP members usually get in trouble like this. lol

 

[stampedehero]

Apparently, Bosnian cops know where illicit behavior occurs.

 

[stampedehero]

If you read the disclaimer at the end of those Most Interesting Man in the World commercials you'll see an asterik and the words "except for Nurk"

Bodyman has a man crush on Nurk.

 

[dviss1]

Bodyman has a man crush on Nurk.

He's gotta wait his turn....

 

[Minstrel]

When Nurkic orders food in a restaurant, the waiter says, "Yes, sir"...and brings it to him.

 

[andalusian]

Bosnia is the pet name of Nurkicstan

 

[SIeepwalker]

Honestly all the things you all say about Nurkic in this thread are dumb as fuck. He's just not that great. You know what, if he was all that, he would appear in my house and smash my head into the keybisjfgpsogsfjs jsl;gq!sglskhrqlùkg

 

[dviss1]

Honestly all the things you all say about Nurkic in this thread are dumb as fuck. He's just not that great. You know what, if he was all that, he would appear in my house and smash my head into the keybisjfgpsogsfjs jsl;gq!sglskhrqlùkg

Read the whole thread:

Yusuf Nurkić is stupid. If he was as tough as people claim him to be, he'd come into my house right now, take my face, and start bashing it into the keyboa 0w2ngo opjeitsdrgpiwh 04pw83t5ijgb9 p;qwihoyt 98c5 nviejivn idhgfndingfin inernrb nuheeruhbei u8h4wae irtigjinsr jirttrstrs gntrhji9tr jiorjinhr

 

[dviss1]

On the morning of August 21st 2017, Jusuf Nurkic decided to fly his wingsuit across the US. It took approx 1 hour and 33 minutes. Millions gathered to watch.

 

[e_blazer]

On the morning of August 21st 2017, Jusuf Nurkic decided to fly his wingsuit across the US. It took approx 1 hour and 33 minutes. Millions gathered to watch.

That's an inventive interpretation, but I believe the truth is much simpler: Nurk was down at Lincoln City and, when he awoke this morning he stretched in the sunlight, thereby casting a shadow across the continent.

Edit: Well damn! There's that whole sun rising in the east thingie that I seem to have overlooked here.

Edit No. 2: Now that I think about it more, I think it's totally within the Nurk's powers to pick up the planet and shift it on its axis so that the morning sun from Lincoln City would cast his shadow across the continent west to east.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

I made eclipse viewing glasses out of two Jusuf Nurkic basketball cards, and not only could I stare straight at the sun for the entire eclipse, but I now have 20/10 vision and may also be able to see into the future, which incidentally looks a lot like Jusuf Nurkic.

 

[Orion Bailey]

Ive been typing in this post for a while now about this funny as hell anti Nurk joke, but all that shows up on my screen is...

Jusuf Nurkic


SEEEE????
That was a 4 line joke I just typed!

 

[Orion Bailey]

When Nurk was young and first saw the... "Break me off a piece of that Klondike Bar" commercial, He asked his dad for a trip to the Yukon.....
Now we have iceburgs breaking off from the mainland and people are blaming it on global warming.. HA!

 

[dviss1]

When Nurk was young and first saw the... "Break me off a piece of that Klondike Bar" commercial, He asked his dad for a trip to the Yukon.....
Now we have iceburgs breaking off from the mainland and people are blaming it on global warming.. HA!

You're forgetting the part about him skydiving without a parachute to cause it. Jesus... People need ALL the info....

 

[theprunetang]

You're forgetting the part about him skydiving without a parachute to cause it. Jesus... People need ALL the info....

He's forgetting that the commercial he was referencing was for Kit Kat bars, not Klondike.

 

[dviss1]

He's forgetting that the commercial he was referencing was for Kit Kat bars, not Klondike.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! HOLY SHIT!!! I completely forgot...

 

[dviss1]

Klondike is:

"What would you do for a Klondike Bar?".

 

[theprunetang]

Klondike is:

"What would you do for a Klondike Bar?".

"Break me off a piece of that bud he smokes".

 

[dviss1]

"Break me off a piece of that Nurkic he smokes".

FTFY. Remember what thread you're in.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

FTFY. Remember what thread you're in.

Nobody smokes Jusuf Nurkic.

 

[dviss1]

Nobody smokes Jusuf Nurkic.