The racist humor thread

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A three unit apartment building caught fire around 1pm in Boston last Tuesday. The fire chief was having a press conference to address concerns over fatalities in the fire. A young liberal reporter girl thought she had the fire chief nailed because she said the department was racist. She told the chief that she didn't think he could explain why the Mexican couple on the first floor had died as well as the African American couple on the second floor, but somehow the white couple who lived on the top floor hadn't died in the fire.

The fire chief laughed at her when she said that. This really pissed her off and she shouted at him "you think it is funny that you only saved the white people even though they live on the top floor?"

The chief laughed again and said "no dumbass, the fire happened during the middle of a weekday........the white couple was at work when the place burned"
 
Why are Redneck murders so hard to solve?

Because all the DNA is the same and there are no dental records
 
Fez Hammersticks said:
I started this thread to set up a certain poster who had racist outbursts whenever he was flustered, and then later say he's not racist.

He no longer posts here but I'm guessing everyone here knows who I'm talking about!
Click to expand...

Ah, my setup thread!
 
Rickles still has it.

"I shouldn't make fun of the blacks. President Obama is a personal friend of mine. He was over to the house yesterday, but the mop broke."


He is coming under fire for that, which is a shame
 
A black man and his son are on an airplane...

In midair the flight attendant announces that they've lost an engine and have to dump the luggage and anything extra to keep them upright. After a few minutes the pilot comes on the intercom to say that the dumping of luggage didn't work and that they're going to dump passengers. He then adds, 'don't worry, we're going to fly low and there will be life boats below that will pick you up; you'll be fine!' The flight attendant then takes over and says, "If you all could cooperate, we're going to go alphabetically by race. When I call your race just raise your hand and someone will escort you to the door.

So first up is African Americans. All African Americans please raise your hand." The black boy goes to raise his hand and the father whispers, "put your hand down." After a few minutes the flight attendant comes back on and says, "Okay, next up is blacks. All black people please raise your hand." Again the boy goes to put his hand up and the father leans over and whispers, "Put your hand down." The boy reluctantly puts his hand down. After a few minutes the flight attendant comes on once again and says, "okay, colored people. All colored people please raise your hands." Again, the boy goes to raise his hand. The father very slowly leans over and whispers, "Put. Your. Hand. Down." The boy looks at his father and says, "I don't get. We're African Americans; We're black; We're colored, why aren't we raising our hands?" The father looks at his son and says, "Because today we're ******s and the mexicans are going first."
 
VanillaGorilla said:
A black man and his son are on an airplane...

In midair the flight attendant announces that they've lost an engine and have to dump the luggage and anything extra to keep them upright. After a few minutes the pilot comes on the intercom to say that the dumping of luggage didn't work and that they're going to dump passengers. He then adds, 'don't worry, we're going to fly low and there will be life boats below that will pick you up; you'll be fine!' The flight attendant then takes over and says, "If you all could cooperate, we're going to go alphabetically by race. When I call your race just raise your hand and someone will escort you to the door.

So first up is African Americans. All African Americans please raise your hand." The black boy goes to raise his hand and the father whispers, "put your hand down." After a few minutes the flight attendant comes back on and says, "Okay, next up is blacks. All black people please raise your hand." Again the boy goes to put his hand up and the father leans over and whispers, "Put your hand down." The boy reluctantly puts his hand down. After a few minutes the flight attendant comes on once again and says, "okay, colored people. All colored people please raise your hands." Again, the boy goes to raise his hand. The father very slowly leans over and whispers, "Put. Your. Hand. Down." The boy looks at his father and says, "I don't get. We're African Americans; We're black; We're colored, why aren't we raising our hands?" The father looks at his son and says, "Because today we're ******s and the mexicans are going first."
Click to expand...

You notice the flight attendant never asked for Caucasians. Racist.
 
VanillaGorilla said:
A black man and his son are on an airplane...

In midair the flight attendant announces that they've lost an engine and have to dump the luggage and anything extra to keep them upright. After a few minutes the pilot comes on the intercom to say that the dumping of luggage didn't work and that they're going to dump passengers. He then adds, 'don't worry, we're going to fly low and there will be life boats below that will pick you up; you'll be fine!' The flight attendant then takes over and says, "If you all could cooperate, we're going to go alphabetically by race. When I call your race just raise your hand and someone will escort you to the door.

So first up is African Americans. All African Americans please raise your hand." The black boy goes to raise his hand and the father whispers, "put your hand down." After a few minutes the flight attendant comes back on and says, "Okay, next up is blacks. All black people please raise your hand." Again the boy goes to put his hand up and the father leans over and whispers, "Put your hand down." The boy reluctantly puts his hand down. After a few minutes the flight attendant comes on once again and says, "okay, colored people. All colored people please raise your hands." Again, the boy goes to raise his hand. The father very slowly leans over and whispers, "Put. Your. Hand. Down." The boy looks at his father and says, "I don't get. We're African Americans; We're black; We're colored, why aren't we raising our hands?" The father looks at his son and says, "Because today we're ******s and the mexicans are going first."
Click to expand...

1970's called, they want their joke back.
 
You know how they know that Adam (of Adam and Eve) was white?











Ever try to take a rib from a black guy?

Go Blazers
 
Forgive me if this has been said, I have only read part of this thread....

What do you call a Mexican (aka HCP) being baptized?


Bean dip.
 
And now, I shall offend everyone on this board...



Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?



A: A pedophile.

______________________________________________________

Q: What is a redneck virgin?



A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

______________________________________________________

Q: Why is a Black mans eyes always red after sex?



A: From the mace

_________________________________________________

Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?



A: You would too if you were named Auuurraaagggghhh!

___________________________________________________

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?



A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

_________________________________________________

Q: What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?



A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

_______________________________________________

Q: In Kentucky, what do divorces and tornados have in common.



A: Either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.

____________________________________________________

Q: Why do the Scottish wear kilts?



A: Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.

______________________________________________________

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?



A: Quarter pounder with cheese.

_______________________________________________

Q: What's the useless skin around a vagina called?



A: The woman.

______________________________________________

Q: How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool?



A: Flip it upside-down.

___________________________________________________'

Q: What's the worst thing about eating vegetables?



A: Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done.

____________________________________________________

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?



A: Dress her up like an altarboy.

_______________________________________________


Thank you, thank you. I'll be back for the after dinner show in the Zebra room.
 
Last edited:
Q: Why can't Packistani's play hockey?

A: Every time they go int he corner they open up a convenience store


Q: What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

A: N****rs


Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A: a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven


Q: What is the best way to circumcize a redneck?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw


What do you call a black guy driving a black Cadillac?
Black power.
What do you call a white guy driving a white Cadillac?
White power.
What do you call a Mexican guy driving a blue Cadillac?
Grand Theft Auto

Q: What do you name a retarded Asian?

A: Som Ting Wong


Q: How do you know if a Chinese person has robbed your house?

A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.


Q: What is hard and long on black people?

A: Third grade
 
Mediocre Man said:
Q: Why can't Packistani's play hockey?

A: Every time they go int he corner they open up a convenience store


Q: What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

A: N****rs


Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A: a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven


Q: What is the best way to circumcize a redneck?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw


What do you call a black guy driving a black Cadillac?
Black power.
What do you call a white guy driving a white Cadillac?
White power.
What do you call a Mexican guy driving a blue Cadillac?
Grand Theft Auto

Q: What do you name a retarded Asian?

A: Som Ting Wong


Q: How do you know if a Chinese person has robbed your house?

A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.


Q: What is hard and long on black people?

A: Third grade
Click to expand...

I expect the both of us will be run out of here on a rail.
 
I've got no problem with this thread.
 
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