Star Wars! Star Wars! Star Wars! (No Spoilers, No Haters)

[EL PRESIDENTE]

so how many weeks will it take for me to just watch in a theatre without dorks?

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

so how many weeks will it take for me to just watch in a theatre without dorks?

Yeah, I like to wait to see anything but then forget and miss out. The last movie I wanted to see was The Martian but I didn't go. Having a good home setup makes it less important than it used to be.

If this is any good there will be dorks at every showing for at least a month.

 

[PDXFonz]

Well I didn't read that but I guess that's my cue to leave this thread until I see the movie this week!

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Star Wars Is Garbage

With Star Wars, liberal Hollywood got it all wrong. They get everything wrong, of course, but this movie franchise really takes the biscuit. They turned the heroes into villains, and the villains into shining beacons of virtue. With a new film on the horizon, I feel duty-bound to warn you about the desperate shortcomings of this particular entertainment phenomenon.

If we’re honest with ourselves, the real wretched hive of scum and villainy is Skywalker Ranch, where George Lucas and his band of morally dissolute bastards created the Star Wars universe, a blight on western civilisation and culture.

Star Wars combines elements from pulp adventure stories, horse operas, adds a dash of Eastern culture, and tosses it all into outer space. Amazingly, Lucas took the worst elements of all those amazing sources. If Lucas were a cook and presented Star Wars to Gordon Ramsay, he would have earned a comment like this: “OH COME ON, IT’S RAW! WHERE’S THE SAUCE???? COME HERE, ALL OF YOU. TASTE THIS!” And then he would have been thrown out of the kitchen.

...

THE REBEL ALLIANCE

The Alliance is a ragtag band of fighters from many different cultures bonded together by a hatred of the Empire, fighting an asymmetric war resulting in massive collateral damage and loss of civilian life. They take their lead from mystics hiding in caves and swamps, and want to return the galaxy to a primitive religion that hasn’t changed for 600 years. That’s right nerds: the Rebel Alliance is ISIS.

...

The Jedi are sick bastards. They use the Force to cloud the minds of others. The movies show this being done to stormtroopers, but you just know Luke uses it on dates at the cantina. He probably uses it to get anal. I bet every Jedi has a BDSM dungeon that they use to force-torture unwilling victims. Any time they are told to stop they just wave their hand and say “That isn’t the safe word you are looking for.” Evil and rapey.

...

It should have raised suspicions when Jian Ghomeshi and Bill Cosby dressed up like Jedi masters every year for Halloween following the film’s release. Rape culture is nothing in comparison to toxic hetero-Force culture.

...

As a reminder, the “good guys” behind the Rebel Alliance abduct children from their families and raise them in a cult indoctrination centre to turn them into fanatical soldier priests called Jedi Knights–or, in the words of the mainstream media, “innocent Syrian refugees.”

http://www.breitbart.com/tech/2015/12/11/star-wars-is-garbage/

 

[santeesioux]

so how many weeks will it take for me to just watch in a theatre without dorks?

The dorks go to see every Star Wars movies like 10 times, regardless of quality, so it's going to be awhile.

 

[Nikolokolus]

so how many weeks will it take for me to just watch in a theatre without dorks?

I think it's cute that you think you're not one of them.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

so how many weeks will it take for me to just watch in a theatre without dorks?

Pot doesn't want to watch movie with kettle?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[Elton]

Hmmm...have a feeling that this odd-numbered reboot film is going to follow the original's pattern.

Search for Spock was weak sauce.

 

[GriLtCheeZ]

Hmmm...have a feeling that this odd-numbered reboot film is going to follow the original's pattern.

Search for Spock was weak sauce.

But you are happy they found him right?

 

[Nikolokolus]

How dare you shit-talk Star Track; love that movie.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

I can't wait for JJ Abrams to reboot Star Search!

 

[GriLtCheeZ]

I can't wait for JJ Abrams to reboot Star Search!

Actually he already has and I've seen a advanced copy of the reboot. It's not bad, on a scale from 1-5 I'd give it 3 and three quarter stars.

 

[GriLtCheeZ]

If Star Wars was recast by French actors: http://www.goldenmoustache.com/excl...de-ladaptation-francaise-de-star-wars-131491/

Kinda dumb.

 

[THE HCP]

Sent from my Baller-Ass 5.5" iPhone 6+......... FAMS

 

[BigGameDamian]

Sent from my Baller-Ass 5.5" iPhone 6+......... FAMS

Where's Han Solo?

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Where's Han Solo?

In his left pocket.

 

[ripcityboy]

Just curious. But has anybody ever actually seen that famous Star Wars TV Extravaganza? That famous mockup TV show they released when the original trilogy came out. It was completely embarrassing and had like B Arthur dancing around with Wookies. I've heard nerds talk about it like the holy grail of urban legends. But never knew anybody who actually ever got a copy.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Just curious. But has anybody ever actually seen that famous Star Wars TV Extravaganza? That famous mockup TV show they released when the original trilogy came out. It was completely embarrassing and had like B Arthur dancing around with Wookies. I've heard nerds talk about it like the holy grail of urban legends. But never knew anybody who actually ever got a copy.

Seen it. It's horribly awesome!

Enjoy!

 

[PDXFonz]

Not reading this thread anymore so idk if anyone posted it yet, but I thought this was fairly creative.

http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/sto...all-basketball-cricket-hockey-football-soccer

 

[VanillaGorilla]

 

[THE HCP]

I've got Thursday and Saturday off...... Gotta' catch up!!!

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Read the detailed spoiler online so now I can wait until I catch it on a plane

Enjoy nerds!

 

[Denny Crane]

Sent from my Baller-Ass 5.5" iPhone 6+......... FAMS

Nerd alert!

 

[Natebishop3]

I'm really trying to avoid spoilers. I don't want to have this ruined for me.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

THEY ALL DIE AT THE END, BUT THEN THE FORCE RAISES THEM AS TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

 

[crowTrobot]

I'm really trying to avoid spoilers. I don't want to have this ruined for me.

living dangerously clicking on this thread

 

[Natebishop3]

THEY ALL DIE AT THE END, BUT THEN THE FORCE RAISES THEM AS TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

This ain't no Michael Bay film....

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Han Solo was a sith lord all along.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

and chewbacca is his apprentice.