The official Jusuf Nurkic facts thread

[riverman]

Nurk has got the team laughing again....he has made basketball fun after a seriously depressing first half of the season

 

[Mediocre Man]

He got his nickname the Bosnian Bear because of a bear skin rug in his living room. The bear isn't dead, it's just too affraid to move.

 

[Mediocre Man]

During science class in grammar school, Jusuf Nurkic was told to write a paper about the most powerful force in the universe. He received an A+ for turning in a blank paper with just his name on it.

 

[BlazerWookee]

Tough kids pee their names in the snow.

Chuck Norris pees his name in cured concrete.

Jusef Nurkic pees his name in Chuck Norris.

 

[dviss1]

He once taught a german shepherd how to bark in Serbian, Bosnian, and Croatian.

 

[Mediocre Man]

Cars look both ways before Nurk crosses the street.

 

[Mediocre Man]

Obama said "yes we can"
Nurk says "I already did"

 

[HomerLovesKoolAid]

Nurkic can crack walnuts with his eyelids.

 

[Orion Bailey]

Nurkic can crack walnuts with his eyelids.

That was 5 years ago. Now he only uses his eyelashes. !!!

 

[Jon]

jusef's tears cure cancer..... too bad he never cries.

 

[Jon]

nurkic doesnt do a push up, he pushes the earth down.

 

[Jon]

jusef nurkic can kill 2 stones with one bird.

 

[dviss1]

When Big Nurk was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.

 

[dviss1]

When The Nurk was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

During science class in grammar school, Jusuf Nurkic was told to write a paper about the most powerful force in the universe. He received an A+ for turning in a blank paper with just his name on it.

When The Nurk was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Copycat!!!!!!!!!!

When Nurk got his first Oregon Driver's license in the spot labeled endorsement it said "the entire population of the pacific NW"

 

[julius]

I don't care to look this up to see if anyone else posted this.


Nurk speaks fluent French...in Russian.

 

[SheedSoNasty]

In Russia, car drives you! In Bosnia, Jusuf Nurkic doesn't drive at all. He is carried everywhere by a horde of supermodels.

 

[SheedSoNasty]

During a routine physical, Dr. Brown asked Jusuf Nurkic to turn his head and cough. In a very related story, Dr. Brown is now known as the very first doctor to practice medicine with a prosthetic hand.

 

[Mediocre Man]

Jusef Nurkic isn't color blind, he just chooses not to recognize purple and yellow as colors.

 

[TBpup]

Jusef Nurkic isn't color blind, he just chooses not to recognize purple and yellow as colors.

That will piss @HCP off for sure!

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

That will piss @HCP off for sure!

Uhhhh, good?

 

[dviss1]

Copycat!!!!!!!!!!

When Nurk got his first Oregon Driver's license in the spot labeled endorsement it said "the entire population of the pacific NW"

Dammit... I got it from a Norris site...

 

[dviss1]

Big Nurk sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

 

[dviss1]

Nurk doesn't have good aim tho. His bullets just know better than to miss.

 

[Jade Falcon]

Jusuf's brother is a nine-year-old who wears a size-14 shoe.

And no, that's not a misprint.

Source: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2692809-born-of-a-new-eastern-europe-nikola-jokic-leads-a-generation-to-nba-stardom

Three-quarters of the way through the article, you'll find a piece about Nurk.

One thing's for sure......we gotta get someone to teach his brother how to play basketball. And then claim the Rights to him.

 

[PDXFonz]

Dviss f'ing slaughtered this thread

 

[julius]

Nurkic can put out whole forest fires with his spit.

That noise you hear during a thunder and lightning storm isn't actually thunder. It is Jusuf Nurkic belching.

Jusuf knows the answer to the riddle"if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there, does it make a sound?" His answer is "Yes it does." He knows, because he is everywhere and everything.

The World Meteorological Organization knows not to name a Hurricane after him. If they did the hurricane would wipe out the whole planet.

They tried to come up with the "Nurkic scale" for grading earthquakes, but found out that a 1 on the Nurkic Scale would split the world in half.

Jusuf once cried a single tear. The creation of the oceans have been accredited to that single tear.

If Jusuf wanted to, he could create a rock that is too heavy for him to lift...and lift it.

Jusuf ran a whole marathon in death valley, in a wool sweater, in 15 minutes...in his sleep.

Little known fact, the Virtuvian man was modeled after what was left of the last two guys who tried to steal from Jusuf.

Toe Jam from Jusufs feet is considered a delicacy.

 

[theprunetang]

When Nurkic broke his teeth during NBA play, he felt pain for a split second, but then remembered who he was and told the pain to shut the fuck up.

 

[dviss1]

It's actually someones job to collect Nurks sweat so it can be added to the viagra formula.

 

[dviss1]

Dviss f'ing slaughtered this thread

When Nurkić enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off